sound : Exiles - King Crimson
is it just me or does jo ratzinger/benedict xvi look a lot like sir anthony hopkins as Dr Hannibal Lector in silence of the lambs/red dragon/ hannibal?....
"I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chiante...."
peacerespectempathy
4.18.2005
Jammin'
sound : Book Of Saturday - King Crimson
i went on a circuit around MG road in cochin... frankly speaking, of what i saw... cochin isn't all that it's hyped up to be... agreed i didn't go anywhere but hey... it didn't seem all too interesting in my eyes...
at first i went to music world... it was 9 in the morning and music world was closed... they said they'd open at 10, so i think to myself, "why not go for a walk?"... so i walk down the road, all the while getting sared at.... i walk into this bookstore (don't remember the name) and look around... the ac is busted so it's boiling in there... not to forget the fact that it's a million degrees outside... the shop was kinda small but they had a lot of good books... as usual i ask for Anthony Keidis' "Scar Tissue", they've never heard of it.... well i'm just browsing and i see "holy blood, holy grail"... ii'm thniking why not but then i realise i need to hit music world... i walk all the way back to music world and you know what?... it's still closed... i look around and i see a planet m across the road... and it was open!... i go there and look around... cd prices have gon down in india... last time i was here they were 550 bucks a cd... right now they're 390.... now thats real nice... plus planet m has all the good stuff... cream, zeppelin, the who, king crimson... everything... good stuff... i bought king crimson's "Larks' Tounges In Aspic"... it was only 290 bucks!... the 30th anniversary, 24 bit remaster...
then i walk all the way to manuel industries in my never-ending search for a slide and a capo.... they had slides alright... but for hawaiian guitar, not finger slides... and i didnt like their capo... what the heck, i sat down and started fooling around with their guitars... there was this 12 string that i kinda liked... just Rs 1950.... i was playing around with a spanish guitar when this big, australian guy comes up to me and asks me if i play... he was there buying traditional indian instruments for his collection and stuff... he picks yup a guitar and we both played stairway together... after tht he took his stuff and left... the cool thing is that through this whole thing we didnt bother finding out the others' names... we spoke about zeppelin and crimson and clapton and bowie and stuff (this guy was oldish... about 50 or something).... thats how we got to playing stairway... he was way better than me though... none-the less, it was cool....
i guess i've had one of those things known as a good day... it's been so long since i've had one....
PS: i'm trying to download MSN messenger here... the connection is really fucked up, it gets disconnected every half hour... as soon as i get it i'll let everyone know....
PPS: i'll post a review of "Larks' Toungue in Aspic" as soon as i listen to it...
peacerespectempathy
i went on a circuit around MG road in cochin... frankly speaking, of what i saw... cochin isn't all that it's hyped up to be... agreed i didn't go anywhere but hey... it didn't seem all too interesting in my eyes...
at first i went to music world... it was 9 in the morning and music world was closed... they said they'd open at 10, so i think to myself, "why not go for a walk?"... so i walk down the road, all the while getting sared at.... i walk into this bookstore (don't remember the name) and look around... the ac is busted so it's boiling in there... not to forget the fact that it's a million degrees outside... the shop was kinda small but they had a lot of good books... as usual i ask for Anthony Keidis' "Scar Tissue", they've never heard of it.... well i'm just browsing and i see "holy blood, holy grail"... ii'm thniking why not but then i realise i need to hit music world... i walk all the way back to music world and you know what?... it's still closed... i look around and i see a planet m across the road... and it was open!... i go there and look around... cd prices have gon down in india... last time i was here they were 550 bucks a cd... right now they're 390.... now thats real nice... plus planet m has all the good stuff... cream, zeppelin, the who, king crimson... everything... good stuff... i bought king crimson's "Larks' Tounges In Aspic"... it was only 290 bucks!... the 30th anniversary, 24 bit remaster...
then i walk all the way to manuel industries in my never-ending search for a slide and a capo.... they had slides alright... but for hawaiian guitar, not finger slides... and i didnt like their capo... what the heck, i sat down and started fooling around with their guitars... there was this 12 string that i kinda liked... just Rs 1950.... i was playing around with a spanish guitar when this big, australian guy comes up to me and asks me if i play... he was there buying traditional indian instruments for his collection and stuff... he picks yup a guitar and we both played stairway together... after tht he took his stuff and left... the cool thing is that through this whole thing we didnt bother finding out the others' names... we spoke about zeppelin and crimson and clapton and bowie and stuff (this guy was oldish... about 50 or something).... thats how we got to playing stairway... he was way better than me though... none-the less, it was cool....
i guess i've had one of those things known as a good day... it's been so long since i've had one....
PS: i'm trying to download MSN messenger here... the connection is really fucked up, it gets disconnected every half hour... as soon as i get it i'll let everyone know....
PPS: i'll post a review of "Larks' Toungue in Aspic" as soon as i listen to it...
peacerespectempathy
4.17.2005
an update
sound : i'm listening to the rocks grow...
something i forgot to mention in my first post from malluland... this will totally destroy arun's and ajnu's theories of my supposed "hotness"... this happened in the sharjah airport... i had my guitar in it's gig-bag and it was slung around my back... i whacked this lady with it while i was pulling it up... i seriously didn't see her... i went like, "whoa! sorry 'bout that!" and she was all pissed off... she said something like "watch where you're going." and i think she called me a dumbass... i'm not too sure what it was but there was something that she said after she told me to watch where i was going.... i think it was dumbass.... i'm not too sure about that... must have been something worse because i seriously whacked her in the face with the guitar... she must have been pissed...
heh heh heh... i'm the clumsy love-god!...
peacerespectempathy
something i forgot to mention in my first post from malluland... this will totally destroy arun's and ajnu's theories of my supposed "hotness"... this happened in the sharjah airport... i had my guitar in it's gig-bag and it was slung around my back... i whacked this lady with it while i was pulling it up... i seriously didn't see her... i went like, "whoa! sorry 'bout that!" and she was all pissed off... she said something like "watch where you're going." and i think she called me a dumbass... i'm not too sure what it was but there was something that she said after she told me to watch where i was going.... i think it was dumbass.... i'm not too sure about that... must have been something worse because i seriously whacked her in the face with the guitar... she must have been pissed...
heh heh heh... i'm the clumsy love-god!...
peacerespectempathy
4.16.2005
Heil Kaiser!
sound : nothing!
this is what happens when you force somebody to wake up at the most un-god-dudely hours to go to church... i wore my t-shirt upside down and i didn't realise it till the ending of mass... and the mass was looooooong!... and i dont mean just long i mean fucking forever man... the priest dragged everything... he sang the mass and it didnt even sound melodious or anything... and the songs... "ouch baby! very ouch!"... there was this guy who sang like a dying jack-ass... literally... he was braying like his life depended on it... i know i can't sing but hey... i could sing a hindi song and make it sound better than that guy singing his hymn.... man....
why did i have to go?... cos my grandma would have a coronary if she were to know that i don't have faith... these people are so lost in their tiny little worlds that they don't realise that there are ways of living unlike theirs...
the place is beautiful, no doubt about that... today, i took a walk along the river bank and sat down at a bunch of stairs... i put my feet into the water and sat there for like a half hour just thinking and looking around... it felt real nice... all it lacked was some ambient music.... i miss music... i plan on frequenting the spot... atleast there i get some microbial amount of privacy....
my plan to teach myself metallica's "nothing else matters" has been put on hold for a while... i don't have the album version and i dont have anyplace to listen to and play the song.... and not to forget, o privacy what-so ever.... i got my cousins over... tres annoyeux!.... i can't even play guitar anymore... and if i try, they come and start staring... agreed that's normal behaviour but hey.... i need my "alone time"....
for dumping my "nothing else matters" project i plan on taking on a new one... i plan on trying to train the mongrel thats tied up near the chicken coop.... it's the most chicken-hearted dog in the world... not to mention lazy.... the thing hates to move off it's place... and it shies away from people... everybody here calls it just "patti" but i heard mariam aunty named in Kaiser... a strong german tough dog name for this worm of a mongrel... how ironic.... it's still scared of me... but i guess i can make it get over that (i think its because i growled at it when it barked at me... hmm...) i plan on removing the ticks sticking to it's left ear, thereby getting into its good books as a good human (how rare is that?... a good human) who is also the leader of the pack... i guess the latter is already true because it shoves it's tail between it's legs and flattens it's ears each time i go near it.... give me time... i can make a respectable mongrel out of it yet....
there's two good things about kerala though... firstly, i feel kinda inspired... maybe it's the greenery... maybe it's all the thinking i've been able to do when i go for my walks... but i feel inspired... but the problem is that i do not have enough privacy for creation... i don't like having people looking over my shoulder all the time... makes me feel claustrophobic.... right now i'm lucky.. everybody's gone for a wedding (yuck!) and my cousins have gone for a movie... it's just my aunt (asleep), akshay (watching tv... he respects my privacy) and i.... secondly, i'm watching "that '70s show" daily"... not having sta world in jeddah i hadn't watched it i months... now i watch it daily...
heh heh heh.... hilarious stuff...
i'm thinking of going to the city to get myself a book... something good... a thinker... and then, i go to my spot on the river bank and read....
that's a good idea...
peacerespectempathy
this is what happens when you force somebody to wake up at the most un-god-dudely hours to go to church... i wore my t-shirt upside down and i didn't realise it till the ending of mass... and the mass was looooooong!... and i dont mean just long i mean fucking forever man... the priest dragged everything... he sang the mass and it didnt even sound melodious or anything... and the songs... "ouch baby! very ouch!"... there was this guy who sang like a dying jack-ass... literally... he was braying like his life depended on it... i know i can't sing but hey... i could sing a hindi song and make it sound better than that guy singing his hymn.... man....
why did i have to go?... cos my grandma would have a coronary if she were to know that i don't have faith... these people are so lost in their tiny little worlds that they don't realise that there are ways of living unlike theirs...
the place is beautiful, no doubt about that... today, i took a walk along the river bank and sat down at a bunch of stairs... i put my feet into the water and sat there for like a half hour just thinking and looking around... it felt real nice... all it lacked was some ambient music.... i miss music... i plan on frequenting the spot... atleast there i get some microbial amount of privacy....
my plan to teach myself metallica's "nothing else matters" has been put on hold for a while... i don't have the album version and i dont have anyplace to listen to and play the song.... and not to forget, o privacy what-so ever.... i got my cousins over... tres annoyeux!.... i can't even play guitar anymore... and if i try, they come and start staring... agreed that's normal behaviour but hey.... i need my "alone time"....
for dumping my "nothing else matters" project i plan on taking on a new one... i plan on trying to train the mongrel thats tied up near the chicken coop.... it's the most chicken-hearted dog in the world... not to mention lazy.... the thing hates to move off it's place... and it shies away from people... everybody here calls it just "patti" but i heard mariam aunty named in Kaiser... a strong german tough dog name for this worm of a mongrel... how ironic.... it's still scared of me... but i guess i can make it get over that (i think its because i growled at it when it barked at me... hmm...) i plan on removing the ticks sticking to it's left ear, thereby getting into its good books as a good human (how rare is that?... a good human) who is also the leader of the pack... i guess the latter is already true because it shoves it's tail between it's legs and flattens it's ears each time i go near it.... give me time... i can make a respectable mongrel out of it yet....
there's two good things about kerala though... firstly, i feel kinda inspired... maybe it's the greenery... maybe it's all the thinking i've been able to do when i go for my walks... but i feel inspired... but the problem is that i do not have enough privacy for creation... i don't like having people looking over my shoulder all the time... makes me feel claustrophobic.... right now i'm lucky.. everybody's gone for a wedding (yuck!) and my cousins have gone for a movie... it's just my aunt (asleep), akshay (watching tv... he respects my privacy) and i.... secondly, i'm watching "that '70s show" daily"... not having sta world in jeddah i hadn't watched it i months... now i watch it daily...
Hyde:
"Guys, you know what God's greatest creation is?
... Boobs man!"
Fez:
"Yeah...heh heh heh
And then God said,
"Let there be boobs!"
And it was good"
heh heh heh.... hilarious stuff...
i'm thinking of going to the city to get myself a book... something good... a thinker... and then, i go to my spot on the river bank and read....
that's a good idea...
peacerespectempathy
4.15.2005
"My Gucci's are frickin' magical dude!!!"
sound : Time - Pink Floyd
i'm here... i'm in kerala... chirakadavu to be exact... how am i?... surrounded by bugs, cursing at the gods of electricity, praying to the god(esse)s of music... fine, i guess...
the journey was good... yeah... had a small chat with one of the stewardesses on the flight from sharjah to bombay about me being the entertainment for the flight... told her that i might, just for her... that made her smile... then the two days at bombay were good... actually, one of those days was awesome... got t out of her school and spent the day with her... she's still all good but never got the time for a proper one-on-one... always had the folks and akshay around... but it was awesome... felt nice to have t around... she's like sunshine... yeah... sunshine... and me... i was the flower basking i her radiance.... i love that kid....
then there's his grand uncle of mine in bombay... we call him zacari uncle... before we entered his house, mama was like, "avi, you'll like this guy."... i was sceptical...the first glimpse i see of him is him sitting on his chair reading "The Alchemist"!... he was real cool... reads a ton of books... quotes poetry and shakespeare.... is a major '50s fan... he considers marilyn monroe a goddess... we sat and watched monroe's "Niagara"... frankly speaking... i kinda liked the movie... then he played some sinatra while we talked and had lunch.... he can sing too... he's all '50s... a real cool guy... he has an awesome dvd collection (think psycho, pygmallion, fiddler on the roof and a ton of marilyn monroe movies) and listens to great music... frank sinatra, simon and garfunkel and bob dylan to name a few... then when we were leaving he gave me a dvd... al pacino's "taxi driver"!!!... he said he knew that it was my type of movie!... and thanks to me being in malluland, there's no way on earth that i can play it here...none-the less, i was touched... this guy's met me just once in my life (not counting the time when i was 5 or 4 or something) and we connect... why didn't i meet him earlier?... he gave me his email address and told me to write him... and i will... now that's a cool old guy...
on the trip from bombay to malluland... well, i slept through the whole flight... didnt bother talking with the stewardess on my part of the plane cos she was all middle-aged and flabby and grumpy and stuff... sheesh!... was looking around at the duty free at the bombay (what kind of a name is mumbhai?.. i hate it... i prefer bombay) airport and the two girls who work in it come up to me and start a conversation... i was in awe of myself... i was never such a good flirt but there, i ruled!... hell yeah... while standing in the line i got to thinking... me: fat, short and ugly... the girls at the duty free: nice, sweet, sugar-and-spice-and-everything-nice types.... why was it that they came up to me... what in god-dude's holy name made them get the idea that they wanted to know my name and where im from and where i study and stuff... then it struck me... the answer was that simple... the answer was right there on the tip of my nose (quite literally too)... my new glasses!!!!... my glasses are magical without a doubt... it managed to convert a girl repellant fat-dude into an interesting love-god!... ok, i'm goin' way ahead of myself there... but yeah... i may not be a love-god but i'm better off than being a girl-repellor.... my gucci's are frickin' magical dude!!!
home-sickness is kinda new to me... i may have studied in boardingschool since i was ten years old but the closest i've ever come to home-sickness was missing my parents in the first two weeks of school in the sixth grade... i never was much of a home person... i asked and left home at age ten... but now... it's different... its nopt my folks i'm missing... no... its other people... i miss jeddah... i miss the people in jeddah... i miss every one of them... my dearest friends arun, ajnu, tina, akhil, neet, joel, jaimie... the older people: alex unc, joji nt, thankachen unc, susan nt, chachen, sunil unc, etc... even the little kids... aswati, neha, veni, shedda and lots more.... the love i feel for these human beings is so much... i guess its the closest i can get to paolo coehlo's description of agape... agape being the love that consumes, agape being the finality of eros and philos.... the all-consuming love... yes, this is what i feel for these people... agape... i controlled myself from crying at home the day before leaving but i couldnt help mysself in the aiport... i didn't cry out loud but i let my tears flow freely... it felt good in a bitter-sweet sorta way... all of us standing around hugging each other and crying in a way of just sharing our love for each other... that is the purest form of love... when you can open your hearts and your souls to a group of people... that is philos... it is with philos that people heal themselves during group therapies... that is exactly what it is... philos... people baring their souls to other people who in turn bare their's to you.... this is the purest and most beautiful form of love that i have ever experienced in my as-yet short, pointless, inexperienced existance on this realm...for all of you who have been there for me, i love you... for those that are my true friends, i love you...
the iPod is available in bombay... well not legally but smuggled... what the hell though... the thing is available sans any taxes... the shuffle is just Rs. 5200!!!... all this when i dont have any money.... yeah, i didn't get a discman yet.... i feel musically starved... right now i'm listening to pink floyd on these fucked up speakers on the pc....
i miss my friends... i miss home... i hate malluland... theres never any electricity and im constantly covered by a three inch layer of bugs....
i miss my friends....
i hate malluland...
peacerespectempathy
i'm here... i'm in kerala... chirakadavu to be exact... how am i?... surrounded by bugs, cursing at the gods of electricity, praying to the god(esse)s of music... fine, i guess...
the journey was good... yeah... had a small chat with one of the stewardesses on the flight from sharjah to bombay about me being the entertainment for the flight... told her that i might, just for her... that made her smile... then the two days at bombay were good... actually, one of those days was awesome... got t out of her school and spent the day with her... she's still all good but never got the time for a proper one-on-one... always had the folks and akshay around... but it was awesome... felt nice to have t around... she's like sunshine... yeah... sunshine... and me... i was the flower basking i her radiance.... i love that kid....
then there's his grand uncle of mine in bombay... we call him zacari uncle... before we entered his house, mama was like, "avi, you'll like this guy."... i was sceptical...the first glimpse i see of him is him sitting on his chair reading "The Alchemist"!... he was real cool... reads a ton of books... quotes poetry and shakespeare.... is a major '50s fan... he considers marilyn monroe a goddess... we sat and watched monroe's "Niagara"... frankly speaking... i kinda liked the movie... then he played some sinatra while we talked and had lunch.... he can sing too... he's all '50s... a real cool guy... he has an awesome dvd collection (think psycho, pygmallion, fiddler on the roof and a ton of marilyn monroe movies) and listens to great music... frank sinatra, simon and garfunkel and bob dylan to name a few... then when we were leaving he gave me a dvd... al pacino's "taxi driver"!!!... he said he knew that it was my type of movie!... and thanks to me being in malluland, there's no way on earth that i can play it here...none-the less, i was touched... this guy's met me just once in my life (not counting the time when i was 5 or 4 or something) and we connect... why didn't i meet him earlier?... he gave me his email address and told me to write him... and i will... now that's a cool old guy...
on the trip from bombay to malluland... well, i slept through the whole flight... didnt bother talking with the stewardess on my part of the plane cos she was all middle-aged and flabby and grumpy and stuff... sheesh!... was looking around at the duty free at the bombay (what kind of a name is mumbhai?.. i hate it... i prefer bombay) airport and the two girls who work in it come up to me and start a conversation... i was in awe of myself... i was never such a good flirt but there, i ruled!... hell yeah... while standing in the line i got to thinking... me: fat, short and ugly... the girls at the duty free: nice, sweet, sugar-and-spice-and-everything-nice types.... why was it that they came up to me... what in god-dude's holy name made them get the idea that they wanted to know my name and where im from and where i study and stuff... then it struck me... the answer was that simple... the answer was right there on the tip of my nose (quite literally too)... my new glasses!!!!... my glasses are magical without a doubt... it managed to convert a girl repellant fat-dude into an interesting love-god!... ok, i'm goin' way ahead of myself there... but yeah... i may not be a love-god but i'm better off than being a girl-repellor.... my gucci's are frickin' magical dude!!!
home-sickness is kinda new to me... i may have studied in boardingschool since i was ten years old but the closest i've ever come to home-sickness was missing my parents in the first two weeks of school in the sixth grade... i never was much of a home person... i asked and left home at age ten... but now... it's different... its nopt my folks i'm missing... no... its other people... i miss jeddah... i miss the people in jeddah... i miss every one of them... my dearest friends arun, ajnu, tina, akhil, neet, joel, jaimie... the older people: alex unc, joji nt, thankachen unc, susan nt, chachen, sunil unc, etc... even the little kids... aswati, neha, veni, shedda and lots more.... the love i feel for these human beings is so much... i guess its the closest i can get to paolo coehlo's description of agape... agape being the love that consumes, agape being the finality of eros and philos.... the all-consuming love... yes, this is what i feel for these people... agape... i controlled myself from crying at home the day before leaving but i couldnt help mysself in the aiport... i didn't cry out loud but i let my tears flow freely... it felt good in a bitter-sweet sorta way... all of us standing around hugging each other and crying in a way of just sharing our love for each other... that is the purest form of love... when you can open your hearts and your souls to a group of people... that is philos... it is with philos that people heal themselves during group therapies... that is exactly what it is... philos... people baring their souls to other people who in turn bare their's to you.... this is the purest and most beautiful form of love that i have ever experienced in my as-yet short, pointless, inexperienced existance on this realm...for all of you who have been there for me, i love you... for those that are my true friends, i love you...
the iPod is available in bombay... well not legally but smuggled... what the hell though... the thing is available sans any taxes... the shuffle is just Rs. 5200!!!... all this when i dont have any money.... yeah, i didn't get a discman yet.... i feel musically starved... right now i'm listening to pink floyd on these fucked up speakers on the pc....
i miss my friends... i miss home... i hate malluland... theres never any electricity and im constantly covered by a three inch layer of bugs....
i miss my friends....
i hate malluland...
peacerespectempathy
4.08.2005
Where has all the happiness gone?
sound : The Times They Are A-Changing - Bob Dylan
Where has all the happiness gone?... i am surrounded by gloom... ajnu is really moody... akhil's all confused... he's happy about neet being here but there's something bothering him... me, i'm just plain pissed....
neet came today, and along with her there's her unending happiness (how does she do it?)... she's like a breath of fresh air in this smog of our collective despair... what the fuck happened to all the happy kids that we were?... why oh why do we all moan and complain?.... where has all the happiness gone?...
why is adolescance synonimous with moodiness and depression?... why should we all HAVE to know the paths of our lives at twenty?... where did all those happy, smiling faces go?... all those dreams and visions of paradise?... where they all fake?... what has become of us?.... where did the dreamers in us go?... is it just me, or do dreams never ever come true nowadays?....
where did all that vitality and pride go?.... where is all that excitement that all the kids had possessed?... where did our easter bunnies and santa clauses and jesus christs go?... where are our pillars?... who are our rocks?... and whatever did happen to our parental bonds?....
where did our constancy go?... where do our lives lead us to?... do we even have something better out there?... where did the truth go?... where are all of our dreams and hopes gone?... where are our beliefs?....
maybe we'll find all that we've lost and be the perfect adult... or maybe (and most likely) it'll be that we forget our individuality... we'll turn into that we despise... the onset of adulthood in not marked by the growth of facial hair or pubic hair or even academic merit... no, i believe that adulthood is attained when we either lose our every shred of individuality and turn into another mindless bum or when we accept our quirks and differences and let our innner child(ren) grow into a unique individual.... most of us go the way of the ignoramus, the every-person.... i just hope that i dont....
but back to the main point...
Where has all the happiness gone?
peacerespectempathy
Where has all the happiness gone?... i am surrounded by gloom... ajnu is really moody... akhil's all confused... he's happy about neet being here but there's something bothering him... me, i'm just plain pissed....
neet came today, and along with her there's her unending happiness (how does she do it?)... she's like a breath of fresh air in this smog of our collective despair... what the fuck happened to all the happy kids that we were?... why oh why do we all moan and complain?.... where has all the happiness gone?...
why is adolescance synonimous with moodiness and depression?... why should we all HAVE to know the paths of our lives at twenty?... where did all those happy, smiling faces go?... all those dreams and visions of paradise?... where they all fake?... what has become of us?.... where did the dreamers in us go?... is it just me, or do dreams never ever come true nowadays?....
Come mothers and fathers throughout the land,
And dont criticize what you can't understand.
Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command
Your own road is rapidly aging-
For the times they are a-changing.
where did all that vitality and pride go?.... where is all that excitement that all the kids had possessed?... where did our easter bunnies and santa clauses and jesus christs go?... where are our pillars?... who are our rocks?... and whatever did happen to our parental bonds?....
where did our constancy go?... where do our lives lead us to?... do we even have something better out there?... where did the truth go?... where are all of our dreams and hopes gone?... where are our beliefs?....
maybe we'll find all that we've lost and be the perfect adult... or maybe (and most likely) it'll be that we forget our individuality... we'll turn into that we despise... the onset of adulthood in not marked by the growth of facial hair or pubic hair or even academic merit... no, i believe that adulthood is attained when we either lose our every shred of individuality and turn into another mindless bum or when we accept our quirks and differences and let our innner child(ren) grow into a unique individual.... most of us go the way of the ignoramus, the every-person.... i just hope that i dont....
but back to the main point...
Where has all the happiness gone?
peacerespectempathy
4.07.2005
"The baffled king composing hallelujah..."
sound : Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
i feel choked.... no air passes through my throat... i'm strangled by this feeling of total helplessness... agreed that i want to leave this shit-hole... but its the people... i'll miss everybody... i was supposed to type out individual goodbyes but i doubt that i'm strong enough for something that final.... i did a few back in january... but i can't do it now... not again... not now.... i know i'm gonna drown in the cliche-ness of the following statement, but it's true none the less... i'm drowning in loneliness... as neil diamond put it.... "I'm a solitary man."... all that we (that being aj, akhil and i) had planned out for the last few days of mine in Saudi Arabia hasen't worked out as planned... everybody's had their shit to deal with.... it ain't fair....
the worst thing is that i'm gonna have to leave all these kids behind... arun reminded me of things which i havent even thought about... amongst us... my major connection with these kids was music... i was the music person... i was the one who helped in skewing the musical tastes of these kids... and i'm proud of it.... i love it that there are kids here who listen to radiohead, a perfect circle and led zeppelin.....
its like what arun said... every sound you hear is connected to some memory... every memory is in turn connected to its own emotion... its these smotions that drive us... we are all emotive entities... more or less similar to instinctive animals but (i doubt it) far more superior intelectually...
murphy's law has this really fucked up way of not screwing up on itself... its foolproof... its incredible how murphster's law manages to mess up each and every plan that we've ever concieved, yet, it doesnt pull off a Wile E and fall down a cliff.... murph-man always reigns... we gotta make a law against the law, murphy's law that is.... none of our plans have worked out... and i mean none...zilch.. nada... abso-fuckin'-lutely nothing... all our plans... watching movies together, me cooking something for everybody, pigging out at pizza hut (well, that was my fault actually... i got all senti-mental and stuff)... the truth is... nothing went according to plan...
oh yeah... neet arrives here today... and i leave the day after... i am god-dude's little chew toy....
i'm still posponing my goodbyes... i doubt if i can stay straight faced through it... i cant help it... i am a frickin virgo...
DAMN! i hate my feminine side.....
peacerespectempathy
i feel choked.... no air passes through my throat... i'm strangled by this feeling of total helplessness... agreed that i want to leave this shit-hole... but its the people... i'll miss everybody... i was supposed to type out individual goodbyes but i doubt that i'm strong enough for something that final.... i did a few back in january... but i can't do it now... not again... not now.... i know i'm gonna drown in the cliche-ness of the following statement, but it's true none the less... i'm drowning in loneliness... as neil diamond put it.... "I'm a solitary man."... all that we (that being aj, akhil and i) had planned out for the last few days of mine in Saudi Arabia hasen't worked out as planned... everybody's had their shit to deal with.... it ain't fair....
the worst thing is that i'm gonna have to leave all these kids behind... arun reminded me of things which i havent even thought about... amongst us... my major connection with these kids was music... i was the music person... i was the one who helped in skewing the musical tastes of these kids... and i'm proud of it.... i love it that there are kids here who listen to radiohead, a perfect circle and led zeppelin.....
its like what arun said... every sound you hear is connected to some memory... every memory is in turn connected to its own emotion... its these smotions that drive us... we are all emotive entities... more or less similar to instinctive animals but (i doubt it) far more superior intelectually...
murphy's law has this really fucked up way of not screwing up on itself... its foolproof... its incredible how murphster's law manages to mess up each and every plan that we've ever concieved, yet, it doesnt pull off a Wile E and fall down a cliff.... murph-man always reigns... we gotta make a law against the law, murphy's law that is.... none of our plans have worked out... and i mean none...zilch.. nada... abso-fuckin'-lutely nothing... all our plans... watching movies together, me cooking something for everybody, pigging out at pizza hut (well, that was my fault actually... i got all senti-mental and stuff)... the truth is... nothing went according to plan...
oh yeah... neet arrives here today... and i leave the day after... i am god-dude's little chew toy....
i'm still posponing my goodbyes... i doubt if i can stay straight faced through it... i cant help it... i am a frickin virgo...
DAMN! i hate my feminine side.....
peacerespectempathy
4.03.2005
Words of wisdom...
sound : We Didn't Start The Fire - Billy Joel
...from a daily planner:
heh heh heh..... let me go and "lisent to the olders"...
peacerespectempathy
...from a daily planner:
man i love cheap, pulp-philosophy.... it makes me feel so god-damn happy...DO BEST
OR
LEAVE IT
Lisent to the olders
their stories
will reduce to
successful lesones
They have a strong effect
that make everything
& every one admire
with them......
be like the flowers
Take your
position
and then
START IT
Look to the
essential
of things
Then decide
heh heh heh..... let me go and "lisent to the olders"...
peacerespectempathy
4.01.2005
It' starts...
sound : Like A Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan
it's struck me... no, not struck me... i feel like i've been whacked with a mallet.... shit... only eight more days left... and after that i leave saudi arabia for good... i guess i've been putting off blogging the past few days because it's too tough to blog... there's just so much to say....
kairali was nice... me and akhil didnt sleep the whole night... we sat up talking and stuff... got eaten alive by mosquitoes... went for a swim at 7:30 in the morning... the usual.... it was the end of the thing that was cool... there was a small water-fight that broke out... actualy it started amongst the girls but me being me, i picked up a bottle and drenched aarya (whom i've managed to convert into a u2 fan)... then the whole thing broke out... me and akhil against aarya, heena and lini.... akhil is evil!.... heh heh heh.... we make a good team... we reached home at like 4 in the evening and i went to sleep at six... i got up at 1:47 in the morning and here i am, online... i can't sleep....
damn... that was my last kairali... ever...
i got myself new glasses a few days back... i love em... they're actually gucci shades but i've put powered lenses on them... i can just see the reactions on the faces of the people in malluland... heh heh heh....
eight more days... there's still so much to do... so much to pack... i havent moved a thing in my room....
every night there's dinner somewhere or the other... i've eaten so much the past week that i doubt i can eat anymore...
there are so many more goodbyes to say.. so many more things i want to say and do before i leave.... i'm delaying the goodbyes because it seems so damn final.... but the things i have to say and do... i need to... and fast....
EIGHT DAYS AND COUNTING...
peacerespectempathy
it's struck me... no, not struck me... i feel like i've been whacked with a mallet.... shit... only eight more days left... and after that i leave saudi arabia for good... i guess i've been putting off blogging the past few days because it's too tough to blog... there's just so much to say....
kairali was nice... me and akhil didnt sleep the whole night... we sat up talking and stuff... got eaten alive by mosquitoes... went for a swim at 7:30 in the morning... the usual.... it was the end of the thing that was cool... there was a small water-fight that broke out... actualy it started amongst the girls but me being me, i picked up a bottle and drenched aarya (whom i've managed to convert into a u2 fan)... then the whole thing broke out... me and akhil against aarya, heena and lini.... akhil is evil!.... heh heh heh.... we make a good team... we reached home at like 4 in the evening and i went to sleep at six... i got up at 1:47 in the morning and here i am, online... i can't sleep....
damn... that was my last kairali... ever...
i got myself new glasses a few days back... i love em... they're actually gucci shades but i've put powered lenses on them... i can just see the reactions on the faces of the people in malluland... heh heh heh....
eight more days... there's still so much to do... so much to pack... i havent moved a thing in my room....
every night there's dinner somewhere or the other... i've eaten so much the past week that i doubt i can eat anymore...
there are so many more goodbyes to say.. so many more things i want to say and do before i leave.... i'm delaying the goodbyes because it seems so damn final.... but the things i have to say and do... i need to... and fast....
EIGHT DAYS AND COUNTING...
peacerespectempathy
3.21.2005
I GOT CASH!
sound : A Boy Named Sue - Johnny Cash
we went to yunus uncle's (kader and kadeer's younger brother) place today.... they came over and dani aunty gave me a cd... johnny cash's "Man in Black"... the two cd set... this cos she heard me quote johnny cash when i was asked to speak about leaving saudi arabia... so yunus uncle was like "come over... check out my collection and copy what you want"... who wouldn't say yes to that offer...
well we go there... and WOW!... i was like the proverbial kid in the toy store... i was the kid in the biggest fuckin toy store ever!..... he has a collection of like 300+ cds... man oh man!.... he has everything from johnny cash to bob dylan to simon and garfunkel to leonard cohen to hendrix to marvin gaye to jeff beck.... i was all aweating and freaking out.... i went through the whole thing and picked out exactly 115 cds.... those are not individual cds im talking about... 1-1-5 titles... some of em are sets so there must be over 150 cds.... and i gotta rip em and burn em and return them... thats all man... i aint gonna have to download music for a little whil;e now... im one happy camper.... so much music... ive arranged them on my table according to artist and i feel beautiful... it just looks and feels beautiful... akshay told me that i looked like lester bangs as he is depicted in almost famous... heh heh heh... now that makes me happy...
...and thus the scarred philosopher rides off into the sunset... no, he didn't get the girl, but he is content... he can play "layla", he has his guitar and one heck of a music collection... hell yeah!... the perfect ending to a not-so perfect day....
peacerespectempathy
we went to yunus uncle's (kader and kadeer's younger brother) place today.... they came over and dani aunty gave me a cd... johnny cash's "Man in Black"... the two cd set... this cos she heard me quote johnny cash when i was asked to speak about leaving saudi arabia... so yunus uncle was like "come over... check out my collection and copy what you want"... who wouldn't say yes to that offer...
well we go there... and WOW!... i was like the proverbial kid in the toy store... i was the kid in the biggest fuckin toy store ever!..... he has a collection of like 300+ cds... man oh man!.... he has everything from johnny cash to bob dylan to simon and garfunkel to leonard cohen to hendrix to marvin gaye to jeff beck.... i was all aweating and freaking out.... i went through the whole thing and picked out exactly 115 cds.... those are not individual cds im talking about... 1-1-5 titles... some of em are sets so there must be over 150 cds.... and i gotta rip em and burn em and return them... thats all man... i aint gonna have to download music for a little whil;e now... im one happy camper.... so much music... ive arranged them on my table according to artist and i feel beautiful... it just looks and feels beautiful... akshay told me that i looked like lester bangs as he is depicted in almost famous... heh heh heh... now that makes me happy...
peacerespectempathy
Deific Catatonia (Dei non-gratis)
Catatonic mumblings from the ears of the naked saint,
Why do we bother? Why do we even care?
The bastard son rules the world,
Born of no father? You could not be the father.
Watch as the castrated pig lies down,
It break down and stumbles into a puddle of it's own waste.
You are he, you are she, you are it.
Confusion my only drug, you are my opium,
Grab me in you filthy claws, rip me up again.
Later we'll go and meet the schizophrenic priest
And learn everyhting about those imaginary things,
Like love, life, hate, death, light and dark.
We need to deaden ourselves, numb ourselves from everything
We dont need to understand! We dont need to understand!
No one needs to understand! We dont need to understand!
Bite his face, tear all the flesh out,
Drink the juice of life from the faucet of pain.
There's a serial killer about,
He goes around ripping cherubs' heads off their dirty little bodies
And then he pins them on the wall with pins through their wings.
Trust in me my friendly fiend,
Trust in all the lies that I feed you.
You are hungry, hungry for more untruths,
Feed on my pain, feed on my lies, feed on me!
Becoming, unbecoming, becoming, unbecoming, becoming, unbecoming.
Turn this water into wine, make me alive again.
Live my life for me because I am you and we are they.
Hey little friend, fuck you!
I am not angry at you, I just hate you.
I hate everything about you,
I hate it that you are so much like me.
I hate you!
I hate you!
I hate you!
I hate you!
I hate you!
I am the bastard overlord,
I am the terminal pig,
I am everything,
I am god and I love to gamble with my sheep.
And me?
You , you are my poker chip.
Why do we bother? Why do we even care?
The bastard son rules the world,
Born of no father? You could not be the father.
Watch as the castrated pig lies down,
It break down and stumbles into a puddle of it's own waste.
You are he, you are she, you are it.
Confusion my only drug, you are my opium,
Grab me in you filthy claws, rip me up again.
Later we'll go and meet the schizophrenic priest
And learn everyhting about those imaginary things,
Like love, life, hate, death, light and dark.
We need to deaden ourselves, numb ourselves from everything
We dont need to understand! We dont need to understand!
No one needs to understand! We dont need to understand!
Bite his face, tear all the flesh out,
Drink the juice of life from the faucet of pain.
There's a serial killer about,
He goes around ripping cherubs' heads off their dirty little bodies
And then he pins them on the wall with pins through their wings.
Trust in me my friendly fiend,
Trust in all the lies that I feed you.
You are hungry, hungry for more untruths,
Feed on my pain, feed on my lies, feed on me!
Becoming, unbecoming, becoming, unbecoming, becoming, unbecoming.
Turn this water into wine, make me alive again.
Live my life for me because I am you and we are they.
Hey little friend, fuck you!
I am not angry at you, I just hate you.
I hate everything about you,
I hate it that you are so much like me.
I hate you!
I hate you!
I hate you!
I hate you!
I hate you!
I am the bastard overlord,
I am the terminal pig,
I am everything,
I am god and I love to gamble with my sheep.
And me?
You , you are my poker chip.
3.20.2005
| Dm | Bb | C | Dm |
sound : Layla (Acoustic) - Eric Clapton
i finally did it!!... i can play layla... agreed my solo isnt as good as clapton but hey!... I CAN FUCKIN PLAY "LAYLA"!!!... how fuckin cool is that.... i can finally say that i am an ok guitarist.... not good yet, but ok... ok's a good start right?....
i know i said tomorrow in the last post but i was either too lazy or too busy... all this packing and stuff... its tougher than i thought... its seriously way more time-consuming than i thought...
the farewell thing went off really well... met siddhart after a real long time... he's working in riyadh.... "it" struck me right then... at the party... thats where "it" struck me... i'm leaving... i'm leaving for good.... this time its not me going off to school or anything... i am leaving this place... my home for 20 years... im leaving my home behind... im leaving everything i had known in my short life back here... most of the people here are like family... i'm leaving them behind... im leaving the only place i've ever called home even though we dont ownthe apartment... everything... it all gets over in one big "KA-BLAAM!!!".... after that its a new life... im all for new beginings and stuff, especially after all the shit i've been through.... but i still feel like there's still something left... i feel like i'm still carrying somebaggage with me... i guess i still haven gotten closure yet... its strange... i fing he pieces of my life finally falling back into place and i still watch for the stray anomaly... i need to find closure... there is still some of the fears of the old me still there... i need to rid myself off of this baggage... i guess the time's still not right... the universe will speak to me when the time is right for me to find closure... maybe then...
it was really touching, the farewell party... all those people coming there just to tell us that they're friends... mama was in rudolf mode the whole time... the song me and mama did went of ok... peter unc's song went off really well.... we had some really classy singing by jukie (OUCH!), jose matthew (DOUBLE OUCH!!) and a duet by dev and nidhin uncle (WTFWJD????)... add to that a speech by Jose "toast-bastard" PM... YEAH BABY, YEAH!!!... it was "fundastic!"...
i exchanged bandanas with shedda (the kid who told me that i should be having a girlfriend... i blogged about that too)... it was real sweet of her... agreed its the same thing but hey... it was a nice gesture and i was all vulnerable and messed up back then (all that leaving thoughts were messing with my brain).... aj and koos weren't there... stronzos.... i wanted them to come but they didnt... i guess i'll forgive them because they got exams...
i remember i blogged a few goodbyes back in january... i guess now's the time to bring out the rest... well, not now... but soon... i doubt i'll get the chance later on...
i feel one of those sentimental "i-love-you-all" type of entry coming up....
"tune in next week. same time, same channel, same asshole for another installment of sentimental crap from the scarred philosopher... this is your friendly neighbourhood narrator-guy signing off..."
peacerespectempathy
i finally did it!!... i can play layla... agreed my solo isnt as good as clapton but hey!... I CAN FUCKIN PLAY "LAYLA"!!!... how fuckin cool is that.... i can finally say that i am an ok guitarist.... not good yet, but ok... ok's a good start right?....
i know i said tomorrow in the last post but i was either too lazy or too busy... all this packing and stuff... its tougher than i thought... its seriously way more time-consuming than i thought...
the farewell thing went off really well... met siddhart after a real long time... he's working in riyadh.... "it" struck me right then... at the party... thats where "it" struck me... i'm leaving... i'm leaving for good.... this time its not me going off to school or anything... i am leaving this place... my home for 20 years... im leaving my home behind... im leaving everything i had known in my short life back here... most of the people here are like family... i'm leaving them behind... im leaving the only place i've ever called home even though we dont ownthe apartment... everything... it all gets over in one big "KA-BLAAM!!!".... after that its a new life... im all for new beginings and stuff, especially after all the shit i've been through.... but i still feel like there's still something left... i feel like i'm still carrying somebaggage with me... i guess i still haven gotten closure yet... its strange... i fing he pieces of my life finally falling back into place and i still watch for the stray anomaly... i need to find closure... there is still some of the fears of the old me still there... i need to rid myself off of this baggage... i guess the time's still not right... the universe will speak to me when the time is right for me to find closure... maybe then...
it was really touching, the farewell party... all those people coming there just to tell us that they're friends... mama was in rudolf mode the whole time... the song me and mama did went of ok... peter unc's song went off really well.... we had some really classy singing by jukie (OUCH!), jose matthew (DOUBLE OUCH!!) and a duet by dev and nidhin uncle (WTFWJD????)... add to that a speech by Jose "toast-bastard" PM... YEAH BABY, YEAH!!!... it was "fundastic!"...
i exchanged bandanas with shedda (the kid who told me that i should be having a girlfriend... i blogged about that too)... it was real sweet of her... agreed its the same thing but hey... it was a nice gesture and i was all vulnerable and messed up back then (all that leaving thoughts were messing with my brain).... aj and koos weren't there... stronzos.... i wanted them to come but they didnt... i guess i'll forgive them because they got exams...
i remember i blogged a few goodbyes back in january... i guess now's the time to bring out the rest... well, not now... but soon... i doubt i'll get the chance later on...
i feel one of those sentimental "i-love-you-all" type of entry coming up....
"tune in next week. same time, same channel, same asshole for another installment of sentimental crap from the scarred philosopher... this is your friendly neighbourhood narrator-guy signing off..."
peacerespectempathy
3.17.2005
I'M OVERWHELMED!!!
sound : Tangerine - Led Zeppelin
i'll elaborate tomorrow... i'm dead tired right now...
peacerespectempathy
i'll elaborate tomorrow... i'm dead tired right now...
peacerespectempathy
3.16.2005
"Layla! You got me on my knees."
sound : I'm A Man - The Yardbirds
the blues have soul... the blues have life... i love the blues... eric clapton, jimi hendrix, led zeppelin, robert johnson, the yardbirds... they all make me wanna love music even more... like john lee hooker said, "the blues is the healer".... how frickin true is that?....
maybe the reason i listen to so much of the blues is that i feel it... i feel the blues... no, its not the love songs im talking about... its the feeling of sadness... the feeling of helplessness thats evident in most of the songs... and its not just the feeling of it either... the instrumentation is just plain beautiful... robert johnson revolutionized slide guitar... he is the god of bottleneck blues... layla... enough said... it isnt my fovorite song for no reason... the instrumentation, the vocals, the overall feeling of the song is so very "YEAH!!"...
the past few days have been ok... not too much going on... ive found out certain things about myself and others... nothing big... just stuff... g-kutty unc took us out to dinner yesterday... i waltzed into the restaurant like some big artist... guitar on my back and stuff.... dinner was good... unlike the last time i wasnt sick so i could eat without any qualms..... heh heh heh... that sure does make my day... then we went to baskin and robins and had some icecream... yummy... im 20 and i still drool at the sigh of icecream... its incredible... i astound myself at times....
there you go... another meaningless post just for the sake of posting...
my life is full of excitement!...
peacerespectempathy
the blues have soul... the blues have life... i love the blues... eric clapton, jimi hendrix, led zeppelin, robert johnson, the yardbirds... they all make me wanna love music even more... like john lee hooker said, "the blues is the healer".... how frickin true is that?....
maybe the reason i listen to so much of the blues is that i feel it... i feel the blues... no, its not the love songs im talking about... its the feeling of sadness... the feeling of helplessness thats evident in most of the songs... and its not just the feeling of it either... the instrumentation is just plain beautiful... robert johnson revolutionized slide guitar... he is the god of bottleneck blues... layla... enough said... it isnt my fovorite song for no reason... the instrumentation, the vocals, the overall feeling of the song is so very "YEAH!!"...
the past few days have been ok... not too much going on... ive found out certain things about myself and others... nothing big... just stuff... g-kutty unc took us out to dinner yesterday... i waltzed into the restaurant like some big artist... guitar on my back and stuff.... dinner was good... unlike the last time i wasnt sick so i could eat without any qualms..... heh heh heh... that sure does make my day... then we went to baskin and robins and had some icecream... yummy... im 20 and i still drool at the sigh of icecream... its incredible... i astound myself at times....
there you go... another meaningless post just for the sake of posting...
my life is full of excitement!...
peacerespectempathy
3.09.2005
3.08.2005
"Wake up and face me..."
sound : Passive - A Perfect Circle
i saw the video for APC's "Passive" for the first time today... WOW!... awesome is not enough of an exclamation here... i mean... seriously... the way the band kept true to it's not showing the members, yet they give you tantalizing silhouette style shots (which look kinda cool because it looks like they shot the clips with heat vision or something similar) of the band members... add to that the scenes from "Constantine" interspersed here and there in the video... man oh man...
peacerespectempathy
i saw the video for APC's "Passive" for the first time today... WOW!... awesome is not enough of an exclamation here... i mean... seriously... the way the band kept true to it's not showing the members, yet they give you tantalizing silhouette style shots (which look kinda cool because it looks like they shot the clips with heat vision or something similar) of the band members... add to that the scenes from "Constantine" interspersed here and there in the video... man oh man...
Dead as dead can be
The doctor tells me
But I just can't believe him
Ever the optimistic one
I'm sure of your ability
To become my perfect enemy
Wake up, and face me
Don't play dead, cause maybe
Someday I'll walk away and say
You dissapoint me
Maybe you're better off this way
Leaning over you here
Cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection
Of what you could and might have been
It's your right and your ability
To become my perfect enemy
Wake up (why can't you)
And face me (come on now)
Don't play dead (don't play dead)
Cause maybe (cause maybe)
Someday (someday)
I'll walk away and say
You dissapoint me
Maybe you're better off this way
Maybe you're better off this way
Maybe you're better off this way
Maybe you're better off this way
You're better off this
You're better off this
Maybe you're better off
Wake up(why can't you)
And face me (come on now)
Don't play dead (don't play dead)
Cause maybe (cause maybe)
Someday (someday)
I'll walk away and say
You fucking dissapoint me
Maybe you're better off this way
Go ahead and play dead (GO!)
I know that you can hear this (GO!)
Go ahead and play dead (GO!)
Why can't you turn and face me? (WAKE UP!)
Why can't you turn and face me? (WAKE UP!)
Why can't you turn and face me? (WAKE UP!)
Why can't you turn and face me (GO!)
You fucking dissapoint me!
Passive agressive bullshit
Passive agressive bullshit
Passive agressive bullshit
Passive agressive bullshit
Passive agressive bullshit
Passive agressive bullshit
Passive agressive bullshit
Passive agressive bullshit
Passive agressive bullshit
Passive agressive bullshit
Passive agressive bullshit
Passive agressive bullshit
\m/ Fuck Yeah!! \m/
peacerespectempathy
this is what happens when i try to study...
sound : The Days Have Turned - John Frusciante
its weird... truly... if i had gone through these same two years under similar yet dis-similar circumstances the whole thing would have been totally different.... but the end result would still be the same... i may not have known the people i know today but i will eventually end up right here right now doing exactly this... makes you think doesnt it?... most of the people i know wouldnt give a rat's ass about me if it had been so... forget giving a rat's ass... they wouldnt even know me... its really strange...
life.. this plethora of disorganized sequences and circumstances with one final end.... but how can the end always be the same?... doesnt time have any effect on this whole jumbled mess of a universe?... or is time too damn insignificant to be of any value in this large and dizzying cosmos that we call our "world"... im not talking just of earth here... gaia is huge in herself... but im talking of the whole thing that we humans wrongfully consider as ours... the whole of the known universe... if man had discovered alternate universes would he consider it as his own?... wouldnt the collective egos of the human race even allow the new-found (hypothetical) universe be somebody else's.... and what about the open-minded amongst the human animal?... are they better off?... or are they just as bad as their conformist counterparts?... wouldnt all the non-conformists who speak of the same ideas and notions be conforming towards each other?... would conforming non-conformists be the right label for these people if it is even right to label entities?.... would labeling a bunch of like-minded people instantly make them a "group"?... and if we label the conforming non-conformists as conforming non-conformists wouldnt they be a group?... why is it that the human animal seeks to always analyze what it doesnt understand?...
and why should the end(s) always be the same?... cant we control the final outcomes of our own universe(s) even though we can control destiny?... why cant we control our very own universes?...
but if we could control our own personal universes wouldnt we become god-like?... or if i may be so bold... GOD?.... is this the six degrees that seperates us from the deities we all so fervently revere?... we can create life... we can create worlds... it is just control that we should gain to become omnipotant... and when will the human animal be given this power of control?... and when it gets it will it be ready to wield such awesome greatness or will it just decimate itself due to sheer egotism?....
what exactly is the use of all this?... what is the use of me pondering on such ideas?... will i, if i put my heart, mind, soul and blood into it, finally be able to understand control?...
will we ever be given the proverbial flame from the gods?...
or will we, like in everything else that we have ever done so far, destroy ourselves in seeking the key to controlling our own universe(s)?...
peacerespectempathy
its weird... truly... if i had gone through these same two years under similar yet dis-similar circumstances the whole thing would have been totally different.... but the end result would still be the same... i may not have known the people i know today but i will eventually end up right here right now doing exactly this... makes you think doesnt it?... most of the people i know wouldnt give a rat's ass about me if it had been so... forget giving a rat's ass... they wouldnt even know me... its really strange...
life.. this plethora of disorganized sequences and circumstances with one final end.... but how can the end always be the same?... doesnt time have any effect on this whole jumbled mess of a universe?... or is time too damn insignificant to be of any value in this large and dizzying cosmos that we call our "world"... im not talking just of earth here... gaia is huge in herself... but im talking of the whole thing that we humans wrongfully consider as ours... the whole of the known universe... if man had discovered alternate universes would he consider it as his own?... wouldnt the collective egos of the human race even allow the new-found (hypothetical) universe be somebody else's.... and what about the open-minded amongst the human animal?... are they better off?... or are they just as bad as their conformist counterparts?... wouldnt all the non-conformists who speak of the same ideas and notions be conforming towards each other?... would conforming non-conformists be the right label for these people if it is even right to label entities?.... would labeling a bunch of like-minded people instantly make them a "group"?... and if we label the conforming non-conformists as conforming non-conformists wouldnt they be a group?... why is it that the human animal seeks to always analyze what it doesnt understand?...
and why should the end(s) always be the same?... cant we control the final outcomes of our own universe(s) even though we can control destiny?... why cant we control our very own universes?...
but if we could control our own personal universes wouldnt we become god-like?... or if i may be so bold... GOD?.... is this the six degrees that seperates us from the deities we all so fervently revere?... we can create life... we can create worlds... it is just control that we should gain to become omnipotant... and when will the human animal be given this power of control?... and when it gets it will it be ready to wield such awesome greatness or will it just decimate itself due to sheer egotism?....
what exactly is the use of all this?... what is the use of me pondering on such ideas?... will i, if i put my heart, mind, soul and blood into it, finally be able to understand control?...
will we ever be given the proverbial flame from the gods?...
or will we, like in everything else that we have ever done so far, destroy ourselves in seeking the key to controlling our own universe(s)?...
peacerespectempathy
3.04.2005
The Tragi-Comedy That Is My Life: Chapter 5468
sound : Cereal Song - bicycle Thief feat. John Frusciante
all the years i've spent moaning and bitching about how unattractive i am... the eons spent cursing god-dude for making me what i am... all the time spent on self-loathing... all of it... for what?... what was the purpose of all that whining?... why did i complain so much?.. the answer is simple... i felt ugly... i'm fat, short and ugly... thats how i see myself... i am insecure and extremely self-conscious...
but wait!... there always is a silver lining...
a few days back i found out from ajnu that i'm considered good looking... not just by anyone though... i'm considered as a "hunk" in the thriving gay community amongst the indian homosexual circles... WHAT THE FUCK?...
god-dude sure has a very sharpend sense of irony... the bastard... (s)he is like the sadistic kid with the magnifying glass who goes around burning poor, defenseless bugs just so as to feel the rush of power (however small it may be) in his/her meaningless existance... i guess right now (s)he must be looking down on me (whilst) laughing his/her head off... why have you forsaken me?... what have i done to you that makes me deserve so much of god-dude's scorn?...
this is taking things one step too far.... we're at war now...
i am avinash "dubya" jose and i declare war!...
all you angels and cherubs.... watch your asses... you've got a very angry fat guy on your nasty little holy tails....
hmm... i had pancakes for dinner... i seriously have got to change my diet...
peacerespectempathy
all the years i've spent moaning and bitching about how unattractive i am... the eons spent cursing god-dude for making me what i am... all the time spent on self-loathing... all of it... for what?... what was the purpose of all that whining?... why did i complain so much?.. the answer is simple... i felt ugly... i'm fat, short and ugly... thats how i see myself... i am insecure and extremely self-conscious...
but wait!... there always is a silver lining...
a few days back i found out from ajnu that i'm considered good looking... not just by anyone though... i'm considered as a "hunk" in the thriving gay community amongst the indian homosexual circles... WHAT THE FUCK?...
god-dude sure has a very sharpend sense of irony... the bastard... (s)he is like the sadistic kid with the magnifying glass who goes around burning poor, defenseless bugs just so as to feel the rush of power (however small it may be) in his/her meaningless existance... i guess right now (s)he must be looking down on me (whilst) laughing his/her head off... why have you forsaken me?... what have i done to you that makes me deserve so much of god-dude's scorn?...
this is taking things one step too far.... we're at war now...
i am avinash "dubya" jose and i declare war!...
all you angels and cherubs.... watch your asses... you've got a very angry fat guy on your nasty little holy tails....
hmm... i had pancakes for dinner... i seriously have got to change my diet...
peacerespectempathy
3.02.2005
Today's Playlist
Millionaire - Queens of the Stone Age
Thinking Of You - A Perfect Circle
Reptile - Nine Inch Nails
Black Dog (Live) - Led Zeppelin
Where Are We Running? - Lenny Kravitz
Little Sister - Queens of the Stone Age
Everything Means Nothing To Me - Elliott Smith
Bother - Stone Sour
Piggy - Nine Inch Nails
Jolene (Live) - the White Stripes
Creep - Radiohead
Sex Type Thing - Stone Temple Pilots
Dragula - Rob Zombie
Slither - Velvet Revolver
Shadow On The Sun - Audioslave
Ænema - TOOL
Aerials - System of a Down
Regret - John Frusciante
Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own - U2
2.26.2005
[Thou hath] not so much brain as ear wax.
taken from "Troilus and Cressida"
sound : God is in the Radio - Queens of the Stone Age
last night i found out that i have a slightly eccentric grand-uncle in b'lore who's managed to trace out our lineage back to WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!!... this guy's even got the documents and records to prove it... how cool is that?...
I, The Scarred Philosopher, am the descendant of William Shakespeare.
i seriously have to meet this guy and check out all the paperwork and stuff...
no wonder that i've always loved shakespeare... plus, this guy used to be an actor... a stage actor... his best role was as antonius in julius caeser... cool...
I finally am proud of my family... heh heh heh...
peacerespectempathy
2.25.2005
"It's the little differences..."
sound : Misirlou - Dick Dale
peacerespectempathyJULES
-- okay now, tell me about the hash
bars?
VINCENT
What do you want to know?
JULES
Well, hash is legal there, right?
VINCENT
Yeah, it's legal, but is ain't a
hundred percent legal. I mean you
can't walk into a restaurant,
roll a joint, and start puffin' away.
You're only supposed to smoke
in your home or certain
designated places.
JULES
Those are hash bars?
VINCENT
Yeah, it breaks down like this:
it's legal to buy it, it's legal to
own it and, if you're the
proprietor of a hash bar, it's
legal to sell it. It's legal to
carry it, which doesn't really
matter 'cause -- get a load of this
-- if the cops stop you, it's
illegal for them to search you.
Searching you is a right that the
cops in Amsterdam don't have.
JULES
That did it, man -- I'm fuckin'
goin', that's all there is to it.
VINCENT
You'll dig it the most. But you
know what the funniest thing about
Europe is?
JULES
What?
VINCENT
It's the little differences. A
lotta the same shit we got here,
they got there, but there they're a
little different.
JULES
Examples?
VINCENT
Well, in Amsterdam, you can buy
beer in a movie theatre. And I
don't mean in a paper cup either.
They give you a glass of beer, like
in a bar. In Paris, you can buy
wine at McDonald's. Also, you
know what they call a Quarter
Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
JULES
They don't call it a Quarter
Pounder with Cheese?
VINCENT
No, they got the metric system
there, they wouldn't know what the
fuck a Quarter Pounder is.
JULES
What'd they call it?
VINCENT
Royale with Cheese.
JULES
(repeating)
Royale with Cheese. What'd they
call a Big Mac?
VINCENT
Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they
call it Le Big Mac.
JULES
What do they call a Whopper?
VINCENT
I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger
King. But you know what they put
on french fries in Holland instead
of ketchup?
JULES
What?
VINCENT
Mayonnaise.
JULES
Goddamn!
VINCENT
I seen 'em do it. And I don't mean
a little bit on the side of the
plate, they fuckin' drown 'em
in it.
JULES
Uuccch!
2.24.2005
2.19.2005
The Free Land of Philoklonthia
sound : Terrible Lie - NIN
check out my nation.... it ROCKS!!!... The Free Land of Philoklonthia is located in the GROIN!!!.... heh heh heh... everybody pay a visit... drugs are free and the rich are oppressed... welcome on, welcome all!... welcome to my perfect state....
PS: i forgot to mention this... it's steffy's birthday... shout outs are in order....
"Think for yourself. Question Authority"
check out my nation.... it ROCKS!!!... The Free Land of Philoklonthia is located in the GROIN!!!.... heh heh heh... everybody pay a visit... drugs are free and the rich are oppressed... welcome on, welcome all!... welcome to my perfect state....
we got ganja!
"Philoklonthia is ranked 42,685th in the world for Largest Soda Pop Sector."peacerespectempathy
PS: i forgot to mention this... it's steffy's birthday... shout outs are in order....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEFFY!
2.18.2005
memoirs of an amateur circus clown
sound : God Put A Smile Upon your Face - Coldplay
i guess my freak out's over... atleast for now... i hate it when i go all moody and shit... whatever the case is i'm over it for now atleast.... fuckin' mood-swings!.....
i rode lavanya's cycle yesterday... me and akhil... the thing is that i havent ridden a cycle in more than 5 years... and the joy it brought me (to ride a bike again) was awesome... the images that came into my head at that moment were beautiful... me riding beside all those sculptures on the corniche with my trainer wheels still on... taking my brand new red bike and riding it through some puddles the after it rained, then having to go to the workshop cos my chains were all rusted.... these saudi kids throwing rocks at me and grabbing my bike when i fell down... mama going and screaming at the bastards later on (they were neighbours)... my taking a huge fall while trying out a few stunts out in the corniche, mercy aunty having to remove this piece of dirt from my hand with a surgical knife.... the memories rushed at me at such speed and yet i saw each and every one of them clearly.... all that just because i was riding a girl's cycle....
akhil took a small spill... we exchanged cycles after a while... i took karrunya's cycle (which was smaller) and he took the big one.... i looked like those clowns you see at the circus... you know?.. the huge fat clowns who ride around in mini mo-bikes and scooters... well.... me and akhil were racing and it is frickin' tough to cycle fast in a small cycle... so i went all speed racer on his ass... i tried to scare him by cutting him off... only problem was that i hit his front tyre and he went tumbling... luckily nothing happened to him.... i dunno what was wrong with us but the both of us were laughing like a couple of hyenas....
i doubt he'd have been laughing if he'd been hurt...
peacerespectempathy
i guess my freak out's over... atleast for now... i hate it when i go all moody and shit... whatever the case is i'm over it for now atleast.... fuckin' mood-swings!.....
i rode lavanya's cycle yesterday... me and akhil... the thing is that i havent ridden a cycle in more than 5 years... and the joy it brought me (to ride a bike again) was awesome... the images that came into my head at that moment were beautiful... me riding beside all those sculptures on the corniche with my trainer wheels still on... taking my brand new red bike and riding it through some puddles the after it rained, then having to go to the workshop cos my chains were all rusted.... these saudi kids throwing rocks at me and grabbing my bike when i fell down... mama going and screaming at the bastards later on (they were neighbours)... my taking a huge fall while trying out a few stunts out in the corniche, mercy aunty having to remove this piece of dirt from my hand with a surgical knife.... the memories rushed at me at such speed and yet i saw each and every one of them clearly.... all that just because i was riding a girl's cycle....
akhil took a small spill... we exchanged cycles after a while... i took karrunya's cycle (which was smaller) and he took the big one.... i looked like those clowns you see at the circus... you know?.. the huge fat clowns who ride around in mini mo-bikes and scooters... well.... me and akhil were racing and it is frickin' tough to cycle fast in a small cycle... so i went all speed racer on his ass... i tried to scare him by cutting him off... only problem was that i hit his front tyre and he went tumbling... luckily nothing happened to him.... i dunno what was wrong with us but the both of us were laughing like a couple of hyenas....
i doubt he'd have been laughing if he'd been hurt...
peacerespectempathy
2.15.2005
something i can never have
- nine inch nails
i still recall the taste of your tears.
echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.
my favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.
scraping through my head
'till i don't want to sleep anymore.
you make this all go away.
you make this all go away.
i'm down to just one thing.
and i'm starting to scare myself.
you make this all go away.
you make this all go way.
i just want something...
i just want something i can never have
you always were the one to show me how,
back then i couldn't do
the things that i can do now.
this thing is slowly take me apart.
grey would be the color if i had a heart.
i just want something i can never have.
come on and tell me
you make this all go away.
you make this all go away.
i'm down to just one thing.
and i'm starting to scare myself.
you make this all go away.
you make this all go way.
i just want something...
i just want something i can never have
in this place it seems like such a shame.
though it all looks different now
i know it's still the same.
everywhere i look you're all i see;
just a fading fucking reminder of who i used to be.
come on tell me.
you make this all go away.
you make this all go away.
i'm down to just one thing.
and i'm starting to scare myself.
you make this all go away.
you make it all go way.
i just want something...
i just want something i can never have.
i just want something i can never have.
TWANG!
sound : Something I Can Never Have - Nine Inch Nails
the past week's been rough... the thing about surya... me freaking out outta the blue... people thinking that i'm gonna kill myself...and today... neet called me up today... she sounded all freaked out... i hate it when girls cry... i may be a chauvenistic bastard, but it breaks my heart to see or hear a girl cry... she was all bipolar about everything... i talked her through the situation and stuff and finally we both agreed on what i said... its funny though... how you try your very best to get out of something and finally when you get what you wanted it doesnt seem all too right... wierd are the ways of god-dude huh?.... anyway, its for the best of everybody... so there... i have blocked myself out af another situation... she's lucky actually... she wears her heart on her sleeve... most people do... but me... i lock it up inside and iron safe inside another iron safe and then i dump it in a bank vault in switzerland.... if i were a viking i'd be called TSP the un-hearted or something... and to top it all off... i broke a string today.... i lost my capo so i downloaded a tuner and i was trying out some alternate tunings... all i actually had to do was detune one step... i go off experimenting and TWANG!... my third string broke... i had to get myself another set...
its incredible the amount of bad karma i'm wading through right now....
i guess it's time for some good karma to pay me a visit... or better still... god-dude should prove to me that (s)he cares for me.... i'm a materialistic asshole so (s)he should get me a bose sound system... yeah... thats a nice deal... i get a bose system and god-dude gets my respect... heh heh heh... the cheapskate wont pull through... i know...
hey!... i must be the only guy on earth who loses a girl on valentines huh?...
i love myself to itty bitty pieces....
sheesh...
peacerespectempathy
the past week's been rough... the thing about surya... me freaking out outta the blue... people thinking that i'm gonna kill myself...and today... neet called me up today... she sounded all freaked out... i hate it when girls cry... i may be a chauvenistic bastard, but it breaks my heart to see or hear a girl cry... she was all bipolar about everything... i talked her through the situation and stuff and finally we both agreed on what i said... its funny though... how you try your very best to get out of something and finally when you get what you wanted it doesnt seem all too right... wierd are the ways of god-dude huh?.... anyway, its for the best of everybody... so there... i have blocked myself out af another situation... she's lucky actually... she wears her heart on her sleeve... most people do... but me... i lock it up inside and iron safe inside another iron safe and then i dump it in a bank vault in switzerland.... if i were a viking i'd be called TSP the un-hearted or something... and to top it all off... i broke a string today.... i lost my capo so i downloaded a tuner and i was trying out some alternate tunings... all i actually had to do was detune one step... i go off experimenting and TWANG!... my third string broke... i had to get myself another set...
its incredible the amount of bad karma i'm wading through right now....
i guess it's time for some good karma to pay me a visit... or better still... god-dude should prove to me that (s)he cares for me.... i'm a materialistic asshole so (s)he should get me a bose sound system... yeah... thats a nice deal... i get a bose system and god-dude gets my respect... heh heh heh... the cheapskate wont pull through... i know...
hey!... i must be the only guy on earth who loses a girl on valentines huh?...
i love myself to itty bitty pieces....
sheesh...
peacerespectempathy
2.14.2005
suicidal imbecile... NOT!
sound : Head Like A Hole - Nine Inch Nails
i never realized that there were so many people who cared... i get 2 calls today morning from aj and akhil asking me whether i'm ok... and now arun calls me and asks me to come and chat with him... and i thought its my lucky day or something... then i find out that arun thinks i'm flipin'... i seem kinda desperate in my last entry it seams... yes, i was kinda pissed... i still am... the thing about surya left me feeling like crap... but hey... the rest of the stuff just came at the moment... but thanks you guys... for seeing to it that i dont kill myself... crap!... i just read the damn thing... it does seem a lot like a suicide note... IT ISN'T!!!... arun, aj and akhil... thanks... i aint killing myself just yet... and the people who want me dead- sorry dudes... not yet anyway... maybe later....
yes, i am freaking out... yes, i'm a nut-case... i've said all of this a million times... nothing new here... the thing is... untill i'm able to not say stuff like that, i'm screwed... i may be happier compared to what i was like last november or something... but i'm still the same old messed up person inside... my lack of self confidence is shocking... i can't believe that i do not even have a shred of self-worth anymore... oh well... must be another block i'll have to overcome....
i guess procastrination is a part of my very essence... i was born fifteen days late for cryin' out loud!... anything i have to do i put away for a later time... anything... work, studies, taking a frikkin' piss... i delay everything... atleast i dont discriminate... i procastrinate without discrimination...
i am a non-discriminating procastrinator...
"The Newest Commandment" is under works... and by the proudest of the lumberjack clan... one of my own... she who cuts many a forest shall start her own brain space... it is the "Daughter of the Cut-forest" herself... the one i call "TANI"... more details as they come in... maybe after completion so to speak... completion would be the creation... but since it is already created is it complete yet?... but for it to be complete shouldn't the creator officially finish or a sign of completion from the creator herself?... so will the completion of the creation of the incomplete.... Yenna Patti?
"Oh no, I've gone cross-eyed again" - Austin Powers
peacerespectempathy
i never realized that there were so many people who cared... i get 2 calls today morning from aj and akhil asking me whether i'm ok... and now arun calls me and asks me to come and chat with him... and i thought its my lucky day or something... then i find out that arun thinks i'm flipin'... i seem kinda desperate in my last entry it seams... yes, i was kinda pissed... i still am... the thing about surya left me feeling like crap... but hey... the rest of the stuff just came at the moment... but thanks you guys... for seeing to it that i dont kill myself... crap!... i just read the damn thing... it does seem a lot like a suicide note... IT ISN'T!!!... arun, aj and akhil... thanks... i aint killing myself just yet... and the people who want me dead- sorry dudes... not yet anyway... maybe later....
yes, i am freaking out... yes, i'm a nut-case... i've said all of this a million times... nothing new here... the thing is... untill i'm able to not say stuff like that, i'm screwed... i may be happier compared to what i was like last november or something... but i'm still the same old messed up person inside... my lack of self confidence is shocking... i can't believe that i do not even have a shred of self-worth anymore... oh well... must be another block i'll have to overcome....
i guess procastrination is a part of my very essence... i was born fifteen days late for cryin' out loud!... anything i have to do i put away for a later time... anything... work, studies, taking a frikkin' piss... i delay everything... atleast i dont discriminate... i procastrinate without discrimination...
i am a non-discriminating procastrinator...
"The Newest Commandment" is under works... and by the proudest of the lumberjack clan... one of my own... she who cuts many a forest shall start her own brain space... it is the "Daughter of the Cut-forest" herself... the one i call "TANI"... more details as they come in... maybe after completion so to speak... completion would be the creation... but since it is already created is it complete yet?... but for it to be complete shouldn't the creator officially finish or a sign of completion from the creator herself?... so will the completion of the creation of the incomplete.... Yenna Patti?
"Oh no, I've gone cross-eyed again" - Austin Powers
peacerespectempathy
2.12.2005
random
sound : Pretty (Ugly Before) - Elliott Smith
i'm scared... there's so much that i dont know... all this stuff about college... i'm lost here... i have no idea what i'm doing... i can't study, i cant even listen to music anymore... it felt like the past few days went by in some sort of hazy blur.... i guess i'm still scared on some level...
i had to give my ring to akhil in my dream cos i lost his ring.... and i was supposed to be his best man....
i have no idea what i should write for my essay.... i want to join college... what should i write?... don't get me wrong, i love writing.... its just that.... i dunno what to write about... especially for an admission into college....
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
i cried a few minutes back... i dont know why im saying this.... its not something i'd usually say....but i cried for a friend.... i chatted with surya a little while back.... she's not well... there's something wrong with her blood count... the doctors dont know what's actually wrong with her.... she gets sick almost every week nowadays... and today... she was in pain.... she couldnt sleep.... but the incredible thing is that she's still the same girl i've always known... bubbly, full of joy... i dont know how she does it but i swear... she has to be the greatest soul on earth for going through this with a smile.... makes me feel horrible about myself for bitching and whining about the small things.... more power to you susu....
i bit one of my nails.... the ring-finger on my right hand...
i miss my old friends.... suren, jude, surya, amrith, dee, uday, sibi, arjun, rakesh, adang,..... i wish i could see them all again....
i found out yesterday that mama wants me to perform with her at the french embassy in march.... she's doing this veena piece with mehboob on tabla and she wants me to play this background chorus like thing on guitar... it seemed kinda easy so i agreed....
i gotta make a call.... it's something i dont usually do...
i cant type anymore... this thing about surya... i feel like shit...
peacerespectempathy
2.07.2005
CRACK!!!
sound : Orestes - A Perfect Circle
peacerespectempathy
*-------------------------------*
KEY
Deputy Lance - me
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum - aj
Chinjunoddu chothikyu - t
Chinfive - akhil
*-------------------------------*
Deputy Lance says:Any story that involves me has a fucked up ending... SHEESH!
guess what...
Deputy Lance says:
i went out to buy a new guitar case...
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
yeah?
Deputy Lance says:
i wanted a hard one....
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
how much was t?
Deputy Lance says:
wait... lemme finish..
Deputy Lance says:
i go to international market...
Deputy Lance says:
i enter the first shop... nope... no case...
Deputy Lance says:
i enter the fender store...
Deputy Lance says:
nope... no case...
Deputy Lance says:
though i drool at the strat
Deputy Lance says:
then i go to the yamaha store....
Deputy Lance says:
i enter and the first thing i see is the guitar case...
Deputy Lance says:
music starts playing in my head...
Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
oooh
Deputy Lance says:
i feel like el mariachi... malaguena playing and leather jacket
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
yippeee!
Deputy Lance says:
et al
Deputy Lance says:
i pick it up...
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
heh heh!
Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
cool
Deputy Lance says:
black leather ase....
Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
oh WOW
Deputy Lance says:
brown velvet interiors...
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum
says:
hot!
Chinjunoddu chothikyu
says:
mufaasa!
Deputy Lance says:
compartment for my plecs and strap and stuff
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
moist.....
Deputy Lance says:
i swear... moist....
Chinfive says:
aj is gettin turned on....
Deputy Lance says:
then i hold it in my hand and i cradle it like a baby...
Deputy Lance says:
i take it to the cashier and ask him the price....
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
with a doubt??.... impressive!
Deputy Lance says:
..........
Deputy Lance says:
.......
Deputy Lance says:
....
Deputy Lance says:
..
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
...............
Deputy Lance says:
.
Deputy Lance says:
........................
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
fuck!
Deputy Lance says:
drumroll please!
Chinjunoddu hothikyu says:
Falala!
Deputy Lance says:
............
Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
...........
Chinjunoddu chothikyu ays:
and!>!?!?!?!?
Deputy Lance says:
760 BUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
i dont want ot hear it
Deputy Lance says:
i missed dieing right there!!!
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
OUCH!
Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
YENDAMMO!!!!!!!
Deputy Lance says:
i felt like i had my nuts kicked in......
Chinfive says:
ouch
Deputy Lance says:
malaguena stopped... and i felt like a f-in mallu song was playing in my head...
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
his nuts are fine akhil!
Deputy Lance says:
confusion theerkinemmeee
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
lol...
Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
ha ha ha
Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
OMIGOD AVI
Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
i swear...
Deputy Lance says:
i swear...
Deputy Lance
says:
i heard my heart crack in two...
Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
gulp...
peacerespectempathy
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