i'm scared... there's so much that i dont know... all this stuff about college... i'm lost here... i have no idea what i'm doing... i can't study, i cant even listen to music anymore... it felt like the past few days went by in some sort of hazy blur.... i guess i'm still scared on some level...
i had to give my ring to akhil in my dream cos i lost his ring.... and i was supposed to be his best man....
i have no idea what i should write for my essay.... i want to join college... what should i write?... don't get me wrong, i love writing.... its just that.... i dunno what to write about... especially for an admission into college....
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
i cried a few minutes back... i dont know why im saying this.... its not something i'd usually say....but i cried for a friend.... i chatted with surya a little while back.... she's not well... there's something wrong with her blood count... the doctors dont know what's actually wrong with her.... she gets sick almost every week nowadays... and today... she was in pain.... she couldnt sleep.... but the incredible thing is that she's still the same girl i've always known... bubbly, full of joy... i dont know how she does it but i swear... she has to be the greatest soul on earth for going through this with a smile.... makes me feel horrible about myself for bitching and whining about the small things.... more power to you susu....
i bit one of my nails.... the ring-finger on my right hand...
i miss my old friends.... suren, jude, surya, amrith, dee, uday, sibi, arjun, rakesh, adang,..... i wish i could see them all again....
i found out yesterday that mama wants me to perform with her at the french embassy in march.... she's doing this veena piece with mehboob on tabla and she wants me to play this background chorus like thing on guitar... it seemed kinda easy so i agreed....
i gotta make a call.... it's something i dont usually do...
i cant type anymore... this thing about surya... i feel like shit...
peacerespectempathy
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