this is what happens when i try to study...

sound : The Days Have Turned - John Frusciante

its weird... truly... if i had gone through these same two years under similar yet dis-similar circumstances the whole thing would have been totally different.... but the end result would still be the same... i may not have known the people i know today but i will eventually end up right here right now doing exactly this... makes you think doesnt it?... most of the people i know wouldnt give a rat's ass about me if it had been so... forget giving a rat's ass... they wouldnt even know me... its really strange...

life.. this plethora of disorganized sequences and circumstances with one final end.... but how can the end always be the same?... doesnt time have any effect on this whole jumbled mess of a universe?... or is time too damn insignificant to be of any value in this large and dizzying cosmos that we call our "world"... im not talking just of earth here... gaia is huge in herself... but im talking of the whole thing that we humans wrongfully consider as ours... the whole of the known universe... if man had discovered alternate universes would he consider it as his own?... wouldnt the collective egos of the human race even allow the new-found (hypothetical) universe be somebody else's.... and what about the open-minded amongst the human animal?... are they better off?... or are they just as bad as their conformist counterparts?... wouldnt all the non-conformists who speak of the same ideas and notions be conforming towards each other?... would conforming non-conformists be the right label for these people if it is even right to label entities?.... would labeling a bunch of like-minded people instantly make them a "group"?... and if we label the conforming non-conformists as conforming non-conformists wouldnt they be a group?... why is it that the human animal seeks to always analyze what it doesnt understand?...

and why should the end(s) always be the same?... cant we control the final outcomes of our own universe(s) even though we can control destiny?... why cant we control our very own universes?...

but if we could control our own personal universes wouldnt we become god-like?... or if i may be so bold... GOD?.... is this the six degrees that seperates us from the deities we all so fervently revere?... we can create life... we can create worlds... it is just control that we should gain to become omnipotant... and when will the human animal be given this power of control?... and when it gets it will it be ready to wield such awesome greatness or will it just decimate itself due to sheer egotism?....

what exactly is the use of all this?... what is the use of me pondering on such ideas?... will i, if i put my heart, mind, soul and blood into it, finally be able to understand control?...

will we ever be given the proverbial flame from the gods?...

or will we, like in everything else that we have ever done so far, destroy ourselves in seeking the key to controlling our own universe(s)?...

peacerespectempathy