sound : White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane
many moons have passed since we last met my pretties..... oh yes.... changes are abound...
"the times they are a-changing"...
meeting these old remnants from another generation surely brings out so much in you.... even if all of them are way too progressive for their times.... seriously..... eating italian food and praising the things that you hate you float on, higher and higher into the mess that is life.... discuss suits and cologne, cameras and how little money im going to make.... aah yes, the life of an american ex-patriot(?)....
"bow down before the one you serve, you're gonna get what you deserve."
limewire just refuses to work.... i hate this.....
freaky... this anneurismic feeling of delusional cheer that is christmas.... i have no christmas spirit in me..... i have done half of my christmas shopping but why shop at all?.... this girl likes me.... and i have no idea on how to tur her down without hurting her..... finally the answer popped into my head.... gift-card!!.... they are truly god-dude's greatest gift to mankind....
it's truly depressing thinking about your favorite times with your favorite people.... but what's the use?.... it's just masturbation..... dreaming and thought is just masturbation for the Physical You.... i spend half of my life masturbating.... the rest i spend weeping and moaning like a wimp on a mexican soap opera.....
this monster feeling that is _____ is so god-frickin'-damn annoying that i just feel like ripping it out from deep within my belly and flushiong it down with all the poop and crap and crud that is my spirit....
"PSYCHO! GROUPIE! COCAINE! CRAZY!"
im quitting at Mickey D's... yeah... the grime sweat and oozing fat has gotten to me.... i can't stand it any more..... those bastard cows that become the burgers talk to me at night... i made the decision to quit when i dreamt that i was serving human burgers to cows and pigs.... those damn pigs....
the trusth is that i now know almost half of all the olod farts orders at McD's.... people strted telling me that im gonna own ten of the damn places in a few years and other such supposedly flattering things.... the old farts have got to find somebody else to memorize their orders now because i now sell suits and pants and shirts and ties at Macy's.... the pay is better plus there's commision on whatever i sell along with the pay they give me.... and during the holidays the work is kinda tiring but it's all good.... think $24.8 an hour.... ladies and germs, that is how much i mad the day before yesterday (hourly pay and commision included).... now how is that for a nice job?... agreed after the holidays it's going to get a little slower but there is always the hourly pay they give me.... good god man... "im lovin' it!"...
but all of this capital flow is hurting me.... my last day at McD's is next week.... so right now im doing two jobs... the day before yesterday i worked 16 hours..... exhausting not to say the least but after next week it's going to get better....
i miss tuyet.... she moved away.... she's moved to st pete... she's in NY right now..... hating it.... she lost her phone and she's not enjoying it one bit..... calls up like 5 to 6 times a day just to talk..... she remembers just two numbers... mine and another friend of hers named jen..... i miss her.... yeah... i got her an american eagle t-shirt and glasses..... she said she'll be back in brandon for christmas and then go back to st pete....
i got tiffnie a tinkerbell bag from hot topic.... speaking about hot topic, i have gained a new-found respect o the spawning ground of wannabe-culture..... i bought both the new tool dvd singles (parabola and schism) from them on the day of it's release (december 20th)... the videos are cool.... the idea of dual commentries is awesome and the remixes by LUSTMORD are just plain cool.... long drawn out epic mixes of the songs... perfect for an lsd trip.....
"my lamb and martyr, this will be over soon.
you look so precious. you look so precious.
you look so precious. you look so precious.
you look so precious now. you look so precious."
aerosmith and lenny kravitz coming to tampa on the 17th of january.... townshend and the gang are going to tour next year.... coldplay's coming here in march.... i wish i have enough money to go.....
i got work at 5.... damn... i gotta fix up my ensemble for today.... shirt, pant, belt, tie... and they should all flow.... i am becoming that which i despise.... a sales-person..... i sell.... i sell.... i put more money into the grubby hands of all those corporate bastards who i hate so much.... i wear designer clothes and smooth talk people into buying overpriced clothing made in the sweat shops of vietnam..... but the thing is, im getting a lot of money doing this....
"DEAD INSIDE! DEAD INSIDE!
DEAD INSIDE! DEAD INSIDE!"
"shit adds up at the bottom"
i need a colonic... to cleanse myself.... an enema..... something to remove all of this negativity from myself..... i have plans for next year that i dare not speak to anyone about because it would be shot down like a poor retarded duck during hunting season..... oh well....
i truly believe that the mall is the breeding ground for 13 year old whores and pimps and wannabe gangsta's, pseudo-punks with fiery red hair and weepy goths all in black with their green mohawks a bright flag to mark their entrance into the worlds of commercialized deviance..... the whole method of thought is dead.... the email arun sent me was edifying and oh so true of our times....
"que onda amigo?"
"pour que?"
FUCK YOU!
peacerespectempathy
12.23.2005
12.10.2005
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
- George Harrison
I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping
Still my guitar gently weeps
I don't know why nobody told you
How to unfold your love
I don't know how someone controlled you
They bought and sold you
I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps
I don't know how you were diverted
You were perverted too
I don't know how you were inverted
No one alerted you
I look from the wings at the play you are staging
While my guitar gently weeps
As I'm sitting here doing nothing but aging
Still my guitar gently weeps
11.27.2005
Brain Fart Vol. 2
sound : My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama - Frank Zappa
on medication you see so much... not because the drugs get onto you.... but because you lie in bed and think a lot.... i found scooby doo on the ceiling over my bed..... i have half fulfilled dreams of things i wasnt meant to have right now because of my fool-hardiness.... my body aches.... yes, yes... this is a complaint piece of telegramme-like proportions.....
peacerespectempathy
on medication you see so much... not because the drugs get onto you.... but because you lie in bed and think a lot.... i found scooby doo on the ceiling over my bed..... i have half fulfilled dreams of things i wasnt meant to have right now because of my fool-hardiness.... my body aches.... yes, yes... this is a complaint piece of telegramme-like proportions.....
"Holy crap dude! They've killed Kenny!"
"The Bastards!"
peacerespectempathy
11.26.2005
The Scarred Philosopher said
sound : Catholic Girls - Frank Zappa
i read the entry on tess' new blog and i felt like just hugging her or something... reminds me of the little pet sparrow i one had...
it was a little baby sparow.... it could almost fly.... actually.... it could make these hops.... i wonder what would have been different if it had not died....
it didnt even have a name...
peacerespectempathy
i read the entry on tess' new blog and i felt like just hugging her or something... reminds me of the little pet sparrow i one had...
oh yeah... another thing... not saying anything about tess... but my sparrow died.... this mean kid at school pushed it into some water and it died the next day..... i beat the little bastard up behind the senior toilets after that....poor, poor tess... i know exactly how you feel.... one moment you have so much hatred inside of you that you feel like bursting but the next minute.... when the light finally shines.... you feel it all just flitter away.... like the wind so to speak.... i spent any months in anger.... truly.... personally.... i think i havent fixed my links in my blog because i think i hate the times when i was like that.... full of rage and fury.... aimed at nothing but walls....
"why did we have to get a guitar?.... why does he even need a guitar?... he doesn't like music.... i want a bass guitar not a six-string..."
months later i changed my views.... its been three years now... i havent played proper guitar in weeks..... i still dont own that elusive electric guitar..... right now... i have done something i want to... the feeling of elation right now is undescribable... trust me....
in due time everything will me all right.... and you realizing you love your mother is a good thing.....4 months of labor and scrooge-like behavior is finally paying off.... i think im ready to open up again... ill fix my links... soon....
till the next time you blog... adios little one....
PRE - avi
it was a little baby sparow.... it could almost fly.... actually.... it could make these hops.... i wonder what would have been different if it had not died....
it didnt even have a name...
peacerespectempathy
11.16.2005
another one of those boring, no meaninged posts about my day... i know none of you care to read this shit but hey!... its called artistic license...
sound : Naima - Santana
welcome back to my oblong reality my friends..... oh yes, i am back in the blitzkreig bop of my life... no, im not complaining.... actually today has been ok..... not too bad actually....
well, i stayed up till 12:30 last night finishing my psych paper which was due today (yes, i am the maharajah of procastrination).... went to school and i found out that people thought that jerusha (a friend of mine) and i are dating.... rectified all the confusion there by claiming that i was in love with another dude and everybody was happy and wierded out again.... confusion, the way of the perfect human.....
submitted my paper to shrek (my psych professor, he looks like shrek and talks like brain from
"Pinky and the Brain") and i hung out with friends the rest of the day.... yeah... the same old monotony of everyday life in the body of avinash.... frankly, i like it...
Oh yeah.... i drew a caricature of john lennon playing his guitar on my friend, mellissa's arm..... it actually looked kinda good..... i should have taken a picture of it but i forgot about it..... it was big too.... from her shoulder till her elbow..... i also drew a caveman on tuyet's arm.....
i think i should get into body art.... seems like a good profession if you ask me..... hmm....
peacerespectempathy
welcome back to my oblong reality my friends..... oh yes, i am back in the blitzkreig bop of my life... no, im not complaining.... actually today has been ok..... not too bad actually....
well, i stayed up till 12:30 last night finishing my psych paper which was due today (yes, i am the maharajah of procastrination).... went to school and i found out that people thought that jerusha (a friend of mine) and i are dating.... rectified all the confusion there by claiming that i was in love with another dude and everybody was happy and wierded out again.... confusion, the way of the perfect human.....
submitted my paper to shrek (my psych professor, he looks like shrek and talks like brain from
"Pinky and the Brain") and i hung out with friends the rest of the day.... yeah... the same old monotony of everyday life in the body of avinash.... frankly, i like it...
Oh yeah.... i drew a caricature of john lennon playing his guitar on my friend, mellissa's arm..... it actually looked kinda good..... i should have taken a picture of it but i forgot about it..... it was big too.... from her shoulder till her elbow..... i also drew a caveman on tuyet's arm.....
i think i should get into body art.... seems like a good profession if you ask me..... hmm....
peacerespectempathy
11.14.2005
The "Being John Malkovich" Syndrome
sound : Paranoid - Black Sabbath
arun's comment on my previous post has sent me through one of my usual tangents.....
why is it that i become a blind sheep to the ones that i admire?.... why is it that i have always believed that the greatest way to awsomeness was to emulate the ways and the means of all that i admire?... and why, oh why is it that the ones i admire have never, ever been any of the plain and normal heroes of our time..... why isn't gandhi my hero?.... or mother teresa?.... or even michael jordan?......
what is with this need of mine to discover the narrow crooked path of the scum of the earth..... why is it that when i discover something that i like, i (metaphorically) rape it to death?..... system of a down, aleister crowley, tool, hunter thompson, (at one stage of my life..... my personal shame) limp bizkit, linkin park, nine inch nails, audioslave, john frusciante, symphonic goth rock..... whenever i discover a new artist i get myself to check out each and every one of their creations....
now this leads me to ajnu's remark..... about the "ambition" thing... maybe this "being john malkovich" syndrome of mine stems from my non-ambition.... my total lack of wanting a future.... no, let me rephrase that.... i want a future..... but i think that i am too light on the ways on how i control myself and my life..... i'd rather let myself flow i guess.....
but this letting myself flow doesn't help my ego in any way.... i become this wierd freak of a man with no sense of being and no ambition what so ever..... add to this my lack of true and real heroes..... i have none.... no heroes.... zip... nada... nil.... and what do you get?..... a hero-worshipping pussy dude.... yes my most unlucky readers..... you have now understood what i truly am.... i am a loser..... not just any plain old loser... no, no, no, no, no.... i am a loser of the worst kind.... i am a no-good, worthless, non-ambitious, funk of a loser..... yes, the worst kind of loser there is....
but i have survived for this long being this wierd pathetic loser that i am.... what does that say about my theory of malkovichness?.... what does that make me?... am i scum?.... am i a waste of matter in this universe?....
i don't think so.... agreed, i do not have ambition.... my life is nearly non-existant.... but im alive.... i'm alive and kicking as hard as i can.... yes. all ye worms who read this, i am not a waste of mass and matter in this universe.... maybe i wont be rich or great during my lifetime.... but my life is much better that most others.... i have experienced way more than most people... i am the story teller... i am the wise old man on the mountain... i am the one THEY speak of with pity in THEIR voices.... i am the one who tried to help people when they need help the most....
I AM THE WALRUS!
and as the walrus i am content...
yes, you bunch of squirming maggots... in my own special way, i am content.....
peacerespectempathy
arun's comment on my previous post has sent me through one of my usual tangents.....
why is it that i become a blind sheep to the ones that i admire?.... why is it that i have always believed that the greatest way to awsomeness was to emulate the ways and the means of all that i admire?... and why, oh why is it that the ones i admire have never, ever been any of the plain and normal heroes of our time..... why isn't gandhi my hero?.... or mother teresa?.... or even michael jordan?......
what is with this need of mine to discover the narrow crooked path of the scum of the earth..... why is it that when i discover something that i like, i (metaphorically) rape it to death?..... system of a down, aleister crowley, tool, hunter thompson, (at one stage of my life..... my personal shame) limp bizkit, linkin park, nine inch nails, audioslave, john frusciante, symphonic goth rock..... whenever i discover a new artist i get myself to check out each and every one of their creations....
now this leads me to ajnu's remark..... about the "ambition" thing... maybe this "being john malkovich" syndrome of mine stems from my non-ambition.... my total lack of wanting a future.... no, let me rephrase that.... i want a future..... but i think that i am too light on the ways on how i control myself and my life..... i'd rather let myself flow i guess.....
but this letting myself flow doesn't help my ego in any way.... i become this wierd freak of a man with no sense of being and no ambition what so ever..... add to this my lack of true and real heroes..... i have none.... no heroes.... zip... nada... nil.... and what do you get?..... a hero-worshipping pussy dude.... yes my most unlucky readers..... you have now understood what i truly am.... i am a loser..... not just any plain old loser... no, no, no, no, no.... i am a loser of the worst kind.... i am a no-good, worthless, non-ambitious, funk of a loser..... yes, the worst kind of loser there is....
but i have survived for this long being this wierd pathetic loser that i am.... what does that say about my theory of malkovichness?.... what does that make me?... am i scum?.... am i a waste of matter in this universe?....
i don't think so.... agreed, i do not have ambition.... my life is nearly non-existant.... but im alive.... i'm alive and kicking as hard as i can.... yes. all ye worms who read this, i am not a waste of mass and matter in this universe.... maybe i wont be rich or great during my lifetime.... but my life is much better that most others.... i have experienced way more than most people... i am the story teller... i am the wise old man on the mountain... i am the one THEY speak of with pity in THEIR voices.... i am the one who tried to help people when they need help the most....
I AM THE WALRUS!
and as the walrus i am content...
yes, you bunch of squirming maggots... in my own special way, i am content.....
peacerespectempathy
11.12.2005
DRIP, DRIP, DRIP....
sound : Girl, you'll Be A Woman Soon - Urge Overkill
do you ever feel so closed up that you feel like what little you let out of yourself is like the drippings of a leaky faucet?.... damn these pig-thoughts in my head..... pig, dog, shred, lamb-chops, YMCA.... where is there any connection?..... the bastards....
it's like when you try to count the stars in the newspapers and you end up with a mind-boggling vision of flying pigs and singing dogs.... damn those singing dogs.....
unknown to you and your's i have found jesus.... my jesus.... my personal jesus so to speak..... but who is this great soul that i proclaim to be jesus?.... why would i, this pig-fart of a man even try to proclaim anybody as jesus?... well, IT'S COS I DAMN WELL CAN!!
and since i can, i will....
my jesus was a mescaline eating, music loving, anti-establishmentarian power junky.... yes my jesus was the hullucinogenic word-king.... my jesus is Dr. Hunter S. Thompson....
reading his work i feel so attached to him... i feel like we were twins from different wombs.... if only i had known the true greatness of HST earlier on... atleast before he died... maybe i could have tried contacting... knowing his empathy for crazed, lost souls i might have had a chance for a reply from him.... however small it may have been....
or maybe it's better off this way... maybe i would have hated him after he (supposedly) replied to my message.... them maybe i would have lived my whole life hating the one i look upto....
maybe this is one of those moments where i truly understand what idol worship is..... maybe maynard and HST are my idols..... mayeb the way i feel a connection to them is how so many little teenage girls and confused, hormone-driven thirteen year old boys adore their personal jesuses..... you know?... all the pop-sluts and the pseudo-(read fake)-rock jiggolos and the glitter-whores....
maybe HST is my favorite pop-slut....
peacerespectempathy
do you ever feel so closed up that you feel like what little you let out of yourself is like the drippings of a leaky faucet?.... damn these pig-thoughts in my head..... pig, dog, shred, lamb-chops, YMCA.... where is there any connection?..... the bastards....
it's like when you try to count the stars in the newspapers and you end up with a mind-boggling vision of flying pigs and singing dogs.... damn those singing dogs.....
unknown to you and your's i have found jesus.... my jesus.... my personal jesus so to speak..... but who is this great soul that i proclaim to be jesus?.... why would i, this pig-fart of a man even try to proclaim anybody as jesus?... well, IT'S COS I DAMN WELL CAN!!
and since i can, i will....
my jesus was a mescaline eating, music loving, anti-establishmentarian power junky.... yes my jesus was the hullucinogenic word-king.... my jesus is Dr. Hunter S. Thompson....
reading his work i feel so attached to him... i feel like we were twins from different wombs.... if only i had known the true greatness of HST earlier on... atleast before he died... maybe i could have tried contacting... knowing his empathy for crazed, lost souls i might have had a chance for a reply from him.... however small it may have been....
or maybe it's better off this way... maybe i would have hated him after he (supposedly) replied to my message.... them maybe i would have lived my whole life hating the one i look upto....
maybe this is one of those moments where i truly understand what idol worship is..... maybe maynard and HST are my idols..... mayeb the way i feel a connection to them is how so many little teenage girls and confused, hormone-driven thirteen year old boys adore their personal jesuses..... you know?... all the pop-sluts and the pseudo-(read fake)-rock jiggolos and the glitter-whores....
maybe HST is my favorite pop-slut....
peacerespectempathy
...
sound : Only - Nine Inch Nails
im at one of those moments in my life again..... im happy (?) and all of that jazz but the thing is... there's still something missing.... there's everything thati have and i still feel so damn screwed up.... i know i sound like some lame-ass emo kid, but maybe i am?..... now thats a creepy thought....
the thing is... im getting impatient with all of this "life" thing.... i dont even know if im going in the right direction.....
i guess the next thing i have to find for myself is ambition....
hmm...
peacerespectempathy
im at one of those moments in my life again..... im happy (?) and all of that jazz but the thing is... there's still something missing.... there's everything thati have and i still feel so damn screwed up.... i know i sound like some lame-ass emo kid, but maybe i am?..... now thats a creepy thought....
the thing is... im getting impatient with all of this "life" thing.... i dont even know if im going in the right direction.....
i guess the next thing i have to find for myself is ambition....
hmm...
peacerespectempathy
10.25.2005
moment
sound : Remember - Disturbed
i don't know why... but right now i had that feeling in the pit of my chest... that squeezing feeling that one getswhen they're just a moment before beaten up, the mini-second before their faces are beaten to a pulp, the little eon of time that passes in the space between your eyes and your eyelids, that feeling of fear and terror mingled just before you wait for the first punch in a fight.... the feeling you get when you remember something and you hurt.... yes, hurt.....
as soon as i played this song, i had this image of me sitting on the computer reading "Rama" by Arthur C. Clarke run through my head.... and in a split second saw the whole of last christmas... everything.... everything that happened then, which leads to the present Now...
i'm still hurting...
"I dont remember
To let them know
Whats given to me.
To hide behind the mask this time
And try to believe
If i can remember
To know know this will
Conquer me
If i can just walk alone
And try to escape into me."
peacerespectempathy
i don't know why... but right now i had that feeling in the pit of my chest... that squeezing feeling that one getswhen they're just a moment before beaten up, the mini-second before their faces are beaten to a pulp, the little eon of time that passes in the space between your eyes and your eyelids, that feeling of fear and terror mingled just before you wait for the first punch in a fight.... the feeling you get when you remember something and you hurt.... yes, hurt.....
as soon as i played this song, i had this image of me sitting on the computer reading "Rama" by Arthur C. Clarke run through my head.... and in a split second saw the whole of last christmas... everything.... everything that happened then, which leads to the present Now...
i'm still hurting...
"I dont remember
To let them know
Whats given to me.
To hide behind the mask this time
And try to believe
If i can remember
To know know this will
Conquer me
If i can just walk alone
And try to escape into me."
peacerespectempathy
10.21.2005
BRAIN FART - a vanity exercise
sound : Within You Without You - The Beatles
i hate it... i have so much running through my head nowadays its incredible..... a few days back arun told me to wake up... yes, monkeys and fellow pachyderms.... i was asleep... mentally asleep..... my brain has not functioned in a while now..... i feel this horrid weight, the weight of ignorance on my back... damn you... damn you!
so i have woken my brain up... and in the process i have opened this pandora's box full of monsters and beasties.... yes, my fellow assholes.... i have created a monster out of my mind.... i seek beauty now.... i always had but now anything i sense as being ugly, i loathe.... yes... ugliness be-eth my enemy.... by beautiful i dont mean pretty.... no, no, no, no, no.... by beautiful i mean.... i dunno what i mean..... last night i was talking to surya about beauty and she said, "avi, you are arty."... for a moment i thought she had just called me wierd in a strange twisted way... but then i smiled, all by myself at midnight i was smiling while typing messages to a girl who lives twelve timezones away from me..... yes.... i became remotely happy then when she said that i wasn't wierd.... i am not wierd.... im just the innovator as i've learnt in sociology.... i deny myself the means but crave for the goals....
crave..... yes, i crave.... i crave more than most.... i crave endlessly.... i have cravings for so many things that i switched my brain off for a while because of my failures in accumilating all of my cravings.... (thank you arun).... yes, i am awake now..... yes, i still crave.... but that doesn't mean i have to shut down all my faculties of abstract thought just so that i may live in my self-formed shadow of bleak, self-induced madness....
madness... i fell this madness of mine coming over me.... i don't know... i spend most of my outside time jokingly flirting with each and every feminine entity that i meet... why do i do that?... what is with this madness of mine?..... i guess it's just my way of proving to myself that i am not an ugly lout with no hopes of ever having a non-platonic relationship with any of the non-penile/boob folk..... amongst us penile-folk...we are very, ver insecure.... not many people realize that.... oh well.... we are the mis-understood, testicled beings.... lord have mercy on our souls.....
tuyet was stabbed a few days back and i have been pulling an atlas with her soul for the past two days..... as usual... boy/girl meets girl/boy.... they start to like eeach other and...
boy/girl gets heartbroken.... what is with this thing called love anyway?.... why does most people who fall in love tend to look like road-kill at the end of the cycle????
oh well.... i guess i shall muscle on through my own dark corridoors of false madnesses and lengthy monologues of the soul(-less).... i shall crave and lust... greed and torture... i shall hurt and kill.... why does the universe even agree to let me be as i am.... i am just cosmic-faeces waiting to be ejected out of this damn plane....
i have got to find some way to release these monsters from inside of my head.... i can't do this anymore..... for now my dear boys and girls.... i bid you a bummed out "adios!"....
GOOD GOD MAN! i hate the damn corrolla....
peacerespectempathy
i hate it... i have so much running through my head nowadays its incredible..... a few days back arun told me to wake up... yes, monkeys and fellow pachyderms.... i was asleep... mentally asleep..... my brain has not functioned in a while now..... i feel this horrid weight, the weight of ignorance on my back... damn you... damn you!
so i have woken my brain up... and in the process i have opened this pandora's box full of monsters and beasties.... yes, my fellow assholes.... i have created a monster out of my mind.... i seek beauty now.... i always had but now anything i sense as being ugly, i loathe.... yes... ugliness be-eth my enemy.... by beautiful i dont mean pretty.... no, no, no, no, no.... by beautiful i mean.... i dunno what i mean..... last night i was talking to surya about beauty and she said, "avi, you are arty."... for a moment i thought she had just called me wierd in a strange twisted way... but then i smiled, all by myself at midnight i was smiling while typing messages to a girl who lives twelve timezones away from me..... yes.... i became remotely happy then when she said that i wasn't wierd.... i am not wierd.... im just the innovator as i've learnt in sociology.... i deny myself the means but crave for the goals....
crave..... yes, i crave.... i crave more than most.... i crave endlessly.... i have cravings for so many things that i switched my brain off for a while because of my failures in accumilating all of my cravings.... (thank you arun).... yes, i am awake now..... yes, i still crave.... but that doesn't mean i have to shut down all my faculties of abstract thought just so that i may live in my self-formed shadow of bleak, self-induced madness....
madness... i fell this madness of mine coming over me.... i don't know... i spend most of my outside time jokingly flirting with each and every feminine entity that i meet... why do i do that?... what is with this madness of mine?..... i guess it's just my way of proving to myself that i am not an ugly lout with no hopes of ever having a non-platonic relationship with any of the non-penile/boob folk..... amongst us penile-folk...we are very, ver insecure.... not many people realize that.... oh well.... we are the mis-understood, testicled beings.... lord have mercy on our souls.....
tuyet was stabbed a few days back and i have been pulling an atlas with her soul for the past two days..... as usual... boy/girl meets girl/boy.... they start to like eeach other and...
KA-BLAAAAM!
boy/girl gets heartbroken.... what is with this thing called love anyway?.... why does most people who fall in love tend to look like road-kill at the end of the cycle????
oh well.... i guess i shall muscle on through my own dark corridoors of false madnesses and lengthy monologues of the soul(-less).... i shall crave and lust... greed and torture... i shall hurt and kill.... why does the universe even agree to let me be as i am.... i am just cosmic-faeces waiting to be ejected out of this damn plane....
i have got to find some way to release these monsters from inside of my head.... i can't do this anymore..... for now my dear boys and girls.... i bid you a bummed out "adios!"....
GOOD GOD MAN! i hate the damn corrolla....
peacerespectempathy
10.19.2005
insurance companies are evil....
sound : Silent Spring - Probot feat Kurt Brecht
what do i say?.... it's been a while, thats for sure.... how do i put it.... i've been riding the waves again.... yeah... the crests and the lows are back... what the heck is wrong with me?.... shit!....
yeah.... im losing the fight against the priests of dogma.... my defences are holding up but i have to let go.... im running out of supplies..... in the end i'll have to let the drawbridge down.... and then... then what?... do i become one of the generic clones of the million dravidian descented monkeys that walk these dirty plains?.... i can feel it happening... atleast i am not on the path of career-shit land... not yet anyway..... but even though i fought that away so far i have new battles to fight.... damn this.... my generals are giving up.... my head commander (the bastard!) just ran away to the enemy with my daughter in tow.....
i might have to get a frickin' corrolla... i know i hate the damn thing but since i have no credit even though i can make my payments i'll have to buy the thing in papa's name and they aren't agreeing to anything other than a corrolla or a civic... damn....
i test drove a mustang a few weeks back... man oh man!.... i was in love as soon as i sat in the driver's seat.... she responded to my every touch with a purr.... i took it upto 60 with absolutely no problems and the brakes would just help me slow down as i touched em..... it was a thing of pure power and beauty.... the 2002 mustang SRS.... i could pay off the car.... no doubt about that.... but the insurance kills the whole deal.... i'd have to pay more for insurance per month than the car itself...... i felt my soul just crumple up and slide under and into my butt.... and trust me, that aint a good feeling....
now everybody here is all "anti-twodoor" and stuff..... and now..... they're all into me getting the mallu-mobile.... yes i am mallu..... i dont care... but do i really want to be one of the sheep?.... every mallu here has a camry or an accord.... and their kids have corrollas and civic respectively... i mean, what the hell?.... what ever happened to a person's sense of uniqueness.... i'd rather buy a hyundai man..... i hate the corrolla..... it is the every-car.... oh well....
i might end up with a corrolla anyway....
balls...
peacerespectempathy
what do i say?.... it's been a while, thats for sure.... how do i put it.... i've been riding the waves again.... yeah... the crests and the lows are back... what the heck is wrong with me?.... shit!....
yeah.... im losing the fight against the priests of dogma.... my defences are holding up but i have to let go.... im running out of supplies..... in the end i'll have to let the drawbridge down.... and then... then what?... do i become one of the generic clones of the million dravidian descented monkeys that walk these dirty plains?.... i can feel it happening... atleast i am not on the path of career-shit land... not yet anyway..... but even though i fought that away so far i have new battles to fight.... damn this.... my generals are giving up.... my head commander (the bastard!) just ran away to the enemy with my daughter in tow.....
i might have to get a frickin' corrolla... i know i hate the damn thing but since i have no credit even though i can make my payments i'll have to buy the thing in papa's name and they aren't agreeing to anything other than a corrolla or a civic... damn....
i test drove a mustang a few weeks back... man oh man!.... i was in love as soon as i sat in the driver's seat.... she responded to my every touch with a purr.... i took it upto 60 with absolutely no problems and the brakes would just help me slow down as i touched em..... it was a thing of pure power and beauty.... the 2002 mustang SRS.... i could pay off the car.... no doubt about that.... but the insurance kills the whole deal.... i'd have to pay more for insurance per month than the car itself...... i felt my soul just crumple up and slide under and into my butt.... and trust me, that aint a good feeling....
now everybody here is all "anti-twodoor" and stuff..... and now..... they're all into me getting the mallu-mobile.... yes i am mallu..... i dont care... but do i really want to be one of the sheep?.... every mallu here has a camry or an accord.... and their kids have corrollas and civic respectively... i mean, what the hell?.... what ever happened to a person's sense of uniqueness.... i'd rather buy a hyundai man..... i hate the corrolla..... it is the every-car.... oh well....
i might end up with a corrolla anyway....
balls...
peacerespectempathy
10.10.2005
"And no-one sings me lullabies..."
sound : Echoes - Pink Floyd
I have to get Pink Floyd's "Pulse" DVD that's coming out on december 5th.....
I must!....
must... have... pink... floyd....
peacerespectempathy
I have to get Pink Floyd's "Pulse" DVD that's coming out on december 5th.....
I must!....
must... have... pink... floyd....
peacerespectempathy
10.01.2005
"My Smile Is A Rifle"
sound : Carvel - john Frusciante
i sure am glad that john frusciante kicked his habit before californication... agreed that "niandra lades..." and "smile from the streets you hold" are true works of genius but, the truth be told.... you and i know tha if JF had continued along the path he was on back then we might not have had a chance to listen to aural works of art like "californication" and "by the way"... even his newer solo albums are awesome.... "shadows collide with people" - sheer beauty on plastic..... seriously.... it's a good thing he's still around... look at the picture.... this was a pic of him back in 1996 during one of the sickest portions of his addiction... he looked like a cross between edward scissorhands and jack white...
READ THIS!... it's really edifying...
now i'm gonna go to my room and play "under the bridge"...
peacerespectempathy
9.30.2005
9.27.2005
I Can't Stand This Certain Opiate Mind-fuck
I feel like I am happy,
my precious Novocaine...
Drag me out of my ass,
Undo the Peaceful Moron,
Yes, I am he,
I am the Peaceful Moron.
Numb me from this pain
My precious Novocaine.
My sweet, sweet Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
Wake me up,
My Novocaine.
Undo these dreams in my head,
Rewind them all so that I may be alive again.
Pluck the worm,
Pull out the worm or constancy out of my head.
Leave this little maggot-mind of mine to rot;
Maybe then I will finally be Alive.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
I know I talk for too long,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm bored of my own shadow,
Get lost! Stop following me around you parasite!
I eat banana peels for lunch.
Oh how devine, the taste of rat tails!
Where you gonna go?
What you gonna do?
Don't leave me here my Novocaine...
Lungs of men are just cement.
Melt my heart, make me human
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Behind all these masks
I want to live like the Every-person.
Make me the Human-monster that I want to be
My Sweet Novocaine.
I hate your dirty, dirty Monkey-fartedness;
Truth be told my eyes tear up at the sight of you.
But please, please, please,
Don't ever leave me
My sweet Novocaine.
My sweet Novocaine...
My sweet Novocaine...
My sweet Novocaine...
My sweet Novocaine...
My Novocaine...
My Novocaine...
My Novocaine...
My Novocaine...
peacerespectempathy
my precious Novocaine...
Drag me out of my ass,
Undo the Peaceful Moron,
Yes, I am he,
I am the Peaceful Moron.
Numb me from this pain
My precious Novocaine.
My sweet, sweet Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
Wake me up,
My Novocaine.
Undo these dreams in my head,
Rewind them all so that I may be alive again.
Pluck the worm,
Pull out the worm or constancy out of my head.
Leave this little maggot-mind of mine to rot;
Maybe then I will finally be Alive.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
I know I talk for too long,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm bored of my own shadow,
Get lost! Stop following me around you parasite!
I eat banana peels for lunch.
Oh how devine, the taste of rat tails!
Where you gonna go?
What you gonna do?
Don't leave me here my Novocaine...
Lungs of men are just cement.
Melt my heart, make me human
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Behind all these masks
I want to live like the Every-person.
Make me the Human-monster that I want to be
My Sweet Novocaine.
I hate your dirty, dirty Monkey-fartedness;
Truth be told my eyes tear up at the sight of you.
But please, please, please,
Don't ever leave me
My sweet Novocaine.
My sweet Novocaine...
My sweet Novocaine...
My sweet Novocaine...
My sweet Novocaine...
My Novocaine...
My Novocaine...
My Novocaine...
My Novocaine...
peacerespectempathy
9.18.2005
"Words about me and about a friend of mine" & "The Testicle-Ovary thing"
sound : I'm Finding It Harder to Be A Gentleman - The White Stripes
i have this tendancy to gravitate towards people with issues.... ok, issues is too harsh a word..... people with imperfections.... imperfections that make them human.... imperfections that define who they are without any overtly obvious actions by the persons themselves....
its been like this ever since i was a child... i first felt i had this "ability" when i was fresh in boarding school.... i was a new kid with no experience of being away from my family but there i was hearing stories from other kids who've been in boarding school their whole lives..... the thing is.... all i ever did was listen.... i didnt have to say anything smart (which i cant anyway) or anything... all anybody wanted me to do was listen.....
all my life i've been the "shoulder"..... you need to let loose, you come to me..... the thing is, i don't do this voluntarily.... it's just who i am i guess.... maybe that explains a lot of things; why i come back to this blog even though all i do is ramble on from deep in my pit of vanity..... maybe this is the reason that i have so many female friends and yet i struggle with women (you can partly blame that on my fear of responsibility too)... but hey... i guess that one of my "things".... i'm always going to be the "shoulder"....
i had a heart-to-heart with tuyet the other day.... she basically told me the story of her life... tuyet's always been cool with me at work and we started fooling around with the others by claiming that we're going to get married [refer to previous post].... yeah... tuyet's of vietnamese origin.... her dad died before she was born and her mom expired when she was three.... she learnt how to take care of herself by the time she was 5 and she learnt to cook by the time she was 6.... she lives out here (tampa, florida) with her foster family with whom she's lived for the past 10 years.... 9 and a half to be exact.... she still misses her little village in vietnam.... she told me that someday she will go back... she's got an elder brother who's married and with kids, a friend of hers married her uncle.... yeah... she thinks thats kinda funny too....
then she came to the "love of her life"... she's had a crush on this dude in vietnam since she was a kid.... like six or seven or something.... they've been friends forever... a few years earlier she asked him if she loved him and he said no.... she asked him if there ever will be a chance for him to change his mind and he said no.... she said that right now she's moving on (i seriously doubt that, i can tell... i know a lot of people like that)... then she told me that this dude had told one of her friends that he said no because he felt that with him being a poor vietnamese vilager and all, that he wouldn't be good enough for her and other such bullshit like that....
to all you ladies who are reading this (one... two... three... oh sorry, two...) trust me, we men have no idea what we're talking about half of the time.... when we say "no", we mean "yes"..... half of us (i guess) instintively try to lie our way out of any situation with even a little bit of responsibility on our side.... trust me, i know.... i'm one of them....
yeah.... back to the story... in the end she said to me "i don't care about that avi, i would love to move back to vietnam and get married and live with him and raise our kids till im old.... yes, i think oo much but dont you pity me... im serious, dont pity me!"... i don't pity her.... on the contrary, right now, i pity all of us men who side-step confrontation and responsibility... we are the scum of the world... we are the evil ones.... and for all the millions of guy's who've ever gon, "dude, i don't get women"- there's no hope... we are doomed.... DOOMED!!...
well... the human race is screwed anyway.... i guess when cloning is perfected us men will be wiped out one by one and gaia (mother earth) will be an amazonian paradise of peace, wisdom, love and lesbians (HELL YEAH!!)...
[sorry about that... i couldn't help myself, but i had to...]
but i guess that eventually, even in this "perfect" world, one day or the other.... maybe a few decades into "perfection" or so... the scientists will create and breed males just for entertainment.... men will just be sexual objects and will have no power in the oestrogen powered world of the day.... an ironic twist on the world of today but it is totally capable of happening... "rent-a-husband"... "rent-a-dude"... escort services will thrive due to the high demand of testicles.... at first it will be frowned upon though (even that might be untrue because in the all-female world the populace might not be as prejudiced as we, the human race, are right now) like how homosexuals and other "sexual-deviants" were treating even until a few years ago.... even today.... but eventually the "rent-a-man" thing will be big.... gigolos would soon reach the upper stratosphere of richness that the whole wheel might turn another 360 degrees and we'll end up where we started in the first place.... with the testicles in power over the ovaries....
its funny how that happened.... the testicles are on top right now but all of us really know who are in control right?... the ovaries!... theres no doubt about that....
Post Script
i was just thinking about a title for this thing that i just typed out so i thought to myself "why not?... with all the multi part movies and dual cd albums out right now, why cant this piece have two titles?..." hence the title.....
peacerespectempathy
i have this tendancy to gravitate towards people with issues.... ok, issues is too harsh a word..... people with imperfections.... imperfections that make them human.... imperfections that define who they are without any overtly obvious actions by the persons themselves....
its been like this ever since i was a child... i first felt i had this "ability" when i was fresh in boarding school.... i was a new kid with no experience of being away from my family but there i was hearing stories from other kids who've been in boarding school their whole lives..... the thing is.... all i ever did was listen.... i didnt have to say anything smart (which i cant anyway) or anything... all anybody wanted me to do was listen.....
all my life i've been the "shoulder"..... you need to let loose, you come to me..... the thing is, i don't do this voluntarily.... it's just who i am i guess.... maybe that explains a lot of things; why i come back to this blog even though all i do is ramble on from deep in my pit of vanity..... maybe this is the reason that i have so many female friends and yet i struggle with women (you can partly blame that on my fear of responsibility too)... but hey... i guess that one of my "things".... i'm always going to be the "shoulder"....
i had a heart-to-heart with tuyet the other day.... she basically told me the story of her life... tuyet's always been cool with me at work and we started fooling around with the others by claiming that we're going to get married [refer to previous post].... yeah... tuyet's of vietnamese origin.... her dad died before she was born and her mom expired when she was three.... she learnt how to take care of herself by the time she was 5 and she learnt to cook by the time she was 6.... she lives out here (tampa, florida) with her foster family with whom she's lived for the past 10 years.... 9 and a half to be exact.... she still misses her little village in vietnam.... she told me that someday she will go back... she's got an elder brother who's married and with kids, a friend of hers married her uncle.... yeah... she thinks thats kinda funny too....
then she came to the "love of her life"... she's had a crush on this dude in vietnam since she was a kid.... like six or seven or something.... they've been friends forever... a few years earlier she asked him if she loved him and he said no.... she asked him if there ever will be a chance for him to change his mind and he said no.... she said that right now she's moving on (i seriously doubt that, i can tell... i know a lot of people like that)... then she told me that this dude had told one of her friends that he said no because he felt that with him being a poor vietnamese vilager and all, that he wouldn't be good enough for her and other such bullshit like that....
to all you ladies who are reading this (one... two... three... oh sorry, two...) trust me, we men have no idea what we're talking about half of the time.... when we say "no", we mean "yes"..... half of us (i guess) instintively try to lie our way out of any situation with even a little bit of responsibility on our side.... trust me, i know.... i'm one of them....
yeah.... back to the story... in the end she said to me "i don't care about that avi, i would love to move back to vietnam and get married and live with him and raise our kids till im old.... yes, i think oo much but dont you pity me... im serious, dont pity me!"... i don't pity her.... on the contrary, right now, i pity all of us men who side-step confrontation and responsibility... we are the scum of the world... we are the evil ones.... and for all the millions of guy's who've ever gon, "dude, i don't get women"- there's no hope... we are doomed.... DOOMED!!...
well... the human race is screwed anyway.... i guess when cloning is perfected us men will be wiped out one by one and gaia (mother earth) will be an amazonian paradise of peace, wisdom, love and lesbians (HELL YEAH!!)...
[sorry about that... i couldn't help myself, but i had to...]
but i guess that eventually, even in this "perfect" world, one day or the other.... maybe a few decades into "perfection" or so... the scientists will create and breed males just for entertainment.... men will just be sexual objects and will have no power in the oestrogen powered world of the day.... an ironic twist on the world of today but it is totally capable of happening... "rent-a-husband"... "rent-a-dude"... escort services will thrive due to the high demand of testicles.... at first it will be frowned upon though (even that might be untrue because in the all-female world the populace might not be as prejudiced as we, the human race, are right now) like how homosexuals and other "sexual-deviants" were treating even until a few years ago.... even today.... but eventually the "rent-a-man" thing will be big.... gigolos would soon reach the upper stratosphere of richness that the whole wheel might turn another 360 degrees and we'll end up where we started in the first place.... with the testicles in power over the ovaries....
its funny how that happened.... the testicles are on top right now but all of us really know who are in control right?... the ovaries!... theres no doubt about that....
Post Script
i was just thinking about a title for this thing that i just typed out so i thought to myself "why not?... with all the multi part movies and dual cd albums out right now, why cant this piece have two titles?..." hence the title.....
peacerespectempathy
9.12.2005
Welly well well well well well my brothers and sisters...
sound : Faeries Wear Boots - Black Sabbath
"then one day i was riding along with the money man on the yellow-brick road when he told me that i am not real..."
yes my dear ladies and germs, i am back.... no no no no... im not dead... i was just kinda "busy", so to speak.... school... school is fine.... ive made a few friends.... quite a few of them actually.... yes my brothers and true friends, i am finally alive...
about school... i just take two classes.... sociology and psychology.... mondays and wednesdays.... nothing else... the rest of the week i'm at McD working.... there are these two people i've met at sociology who are nice... skye and linsey... skye has another class as soon as sociology gets over but linsey and i go to the library and either study or talk for like an hour or so.... today we were quizzing each other (there's a test on wednesday)... then comes psychology with herr landon..... heil heil.... the subject is (so far) as dry as a camels butt.... seriously... plus landon is basically a very, VERY boring guy... me jay and ari (jay being jason and ari being arianysis) sit together during psychology.... jay and ari know each other because they studied together in highschool... well... after class we sitb and talk together or i go and stay with my bride to-be tuyet (long story, im coming to that), tiff and krystal.... we usually talk for while til papa comes to pick me up (yes, yes, i'm pathetic... i dont have a car yet...)...
ok.... now onto my future bride... tuyet... tuyet's this vietnamese girl that i work with in McD... everybody there says me and tiffnie are an item because we walk home together whenever we can.... so tuyet and i come up with this scandalous plan to trick everybody into thinking that WE (that being tuyet and i) are an item.... yes my brothers and only friends, the evil part of me woke up that day.... we made up a big charade that we are an item.... and not just that.... we are getting married (!!!).... we go around calling each other "my love" and "mon amie" and other such corny names.... then we made an elaborate argument scene with tiffnie saying that i'm cheating on them and stuff.... the expressions on the manager's faces are hilarious when we do something stupid like this.... heh heh heh....
i watched clockwork orange yesterday.... i have nothing to say... seriously.... it is by far the most fucked up movie ever.... I LOVED IT!!!
yeah... ill check in later... i gotta find a car in the car mags ive bought.... plus ive got to study..... damn.... so for now, i say goodbye my brothers and only true friends....
peacerespectempathy
"then one day i was riding along with the money man on the yellow-brick road when he told me that i am not real..."
yes my dear ladies and germs, i am back.... no no no no... im not dead... i was just kinda "busy", so to speak.... school... school is fine.... ive made a few friends.... quite a few of them actually.... yes my brothers and true friends, i am finally alive...
about school... i just take two classes.... sociology and psychology.... mondays and wednesdays.... nothing else... the rest of the week i'm at McD working.... there are these two people i've met at sociology who are nice... skye and linsey... skye has another class as soon as sociology gets over but linsey and i go to the library and either study or talk for like an hour or so.... today we were quizzing each other (there's a test on wednesday)... then comes psychology with herr landon..... heil heil.... the subject is (so far) as dry as a camels butt.... seriously... plus landon is basically a very, VERY boring guy... me jay and ari (jay being jason and ari being arianysis) sit together during psychology.... jay and ari know each other because they studied together in highschool... well... after class we sitb and talk together or i go and stay with my bride to-be tuyet (long story, im coming to that), tiff and krystal.... we usually talk for while til papa comes to pick me up (yes, yes, i'm pathetic... i dont have a car yet...)...
ok.... now onto my future bride... tuyet... tuyet's this vietnamese girl that i work with in McD... everybody there says me and tiffnie are an item because we walk home together whenever we can.... so tuyet and i come up with this scandalous plan to trick everybody into thinking that WE (that being tuyet and i) are an item.... yes my brothers and only friends, the evil part of me woke up that day.... we made up a big charade that we are an item.... and not just that.... we are getting married (!!!).... we go around calling each other "my love" and "mon amie" and other such corny names.... then we made an elaborate argument scene with tiffnie saying that i'm cheating on them and stuff.... the expressions on the manager's faces are hilarious when we do something stupid like this.... heh heh heh....
i watched clockwork orange yesterday.... i have nothing to say... seriously.... it is by far the most fucked up movie ever.... I LOVED IT!!!
yeah... ill check in later... i gotta find a car in the car mags ive bought.... plus ive got to study..... damn.... so for now, i say goodbye my brothers and only true friends....
peacerespectempathy
8.30.2005
I'm an adult now.... or am I?....
sound : Babe I'm Gonna Leave You - Led Zeppelin
this is when the anvil comes down on you.. damn, it hits you on the head so damn fuckin' hard.... what do i do?.... i hardly ever felt this way as a kid all alone in boarding school but here.... it's incredible.... i don't know why.... it's really strange...
i spent yesterday in the usual funk i get into on the eve of every one of my birthdays after the age of 16.... yeah... i had the b'day blues going on.... and going strong too.... legally i'm an adult now.... what the fuck do you mean by that?.... i mean seriously.... out here i couldn't drink till today morning but i could have become a porno-star but to drink i had to wait till today.... balls....
the thing that's bugging me the most is that i don't have anybody around... agreed.... there's papa and mama and akshay and minto and thomas uncle and all but thats not the point..... i want t, arun, aj, neet and iklil here.... agreed i'd love to have all my friends from school (suren, jude, sury, amu, uday, dee, adang.... the list is endless) here but i aint asking for much.... just all of the guys from jeddah.... i miss you... even if i don't email you that often... i can't i just got my pc today and i havent got a connection yet.... so as soon as i do, i will... plus, i will call you... believe me.... soon...
back to aging anther year.... i hate growing.... older atleast... mentally growing i dont mind... but growing older (chronologically atleast) sucks bigtime... agreed that statement there makes no point whatsoever with the "yada-yada-sucks!" thing but thats exactly how i feel right now.... im growing older and im finally getting on with my so-far dead life.... im in college, i got a job which i don't mind, yeah, im finally better off than myself.... and i do mean that truly.... crazy....
oh well.... how do i feel now that im a yr older?.... i dunno... i didnt go out and get myself drunk to the point of turning comatose... not because i couldn't but because i dont want to... im still in my "searchng-for-myself" mode.... i have drank and been drunk, i have smoked and been fumigated, but i doubt its something i want to do right now.... not where i am right now... not where I am right now.... maybe someday i will start drinking and/or smoking and/or praying again, but thats because i'm human.... i will stumble and reach out for support eventually.... i am not superman.... maybe it isn't even stumbling and reaching for support... maybe the path of rightousness is to get drunk and smoke and pray like most other humans.... what exactly is the point of that random thought?.... i dont know.... maybe it will wake up the dead spirits that lie withing most of us... the spirits of Genius, Knowledge, Ambition, Pride and others just like them....
balls.... another ramble-piece about myself... im vain to the point of being repetitive and i forgive myself for being so.... yeah... fuck it... i am mine and i dont give a fuck anymore....
balls.....
peacerespectempathy
this is when the anvil comes down on you.. damn, it hits you on the head so damn fuckin' hard.... what do i do?.... i hardly ever felt this way as a kid all alone in boarding school but here.... it's incredible.... i don't know why.... it's really strange...
i spent yesterday in the usual funk i get into on the eve of every one of my birthdays after the age of 16.... yeah... i had the b'day blues going on.... and going strong too.... legally i'm an adult now.... what the fuck do you mean by that?.... i mean seriously.... out here i couldn't drink till today morning but i could have become a porno-star but to drink i had to wait till today.... balls....
the thing that's bugging me the most is that i don't have anybody around... agreed.... there's papa and mama and akshay and minto and thomas uncle and all but thats not the point..... i want t, arun, aj, neet and iklil here.... agreed i'd love to have all my friends from school (suren, jude, sury, amu, uday, dee, adang.... the list is endless) here but i aint asking for much.... just all of the guys from jeddah.... i miss you... even if i don't email you that often... i can't i just got my pc today and i havent got a connection yet.... so as soon as i do, i will... plus, i will call you... believe me.... soon...
back to aging anther year.... i hate growing.... older atleast... mentally growing i dont mind... but growing older (chronologically atleast) sucks bigtime... agreed that statement there makes no point whatsoever with the "yada-yada-sucks!" thing but thats exactly how i feel right now.... im growing older and im finally getting on with my so-far dead life.... im in college, i got a job which i don't mind, yeah, im finally better off than myself.... and i do mean that truly.... crazy....
oh well.... how do i feel now that im a yr older?.... i dunno... i didnt go out and get myself drunk to the point of turning comatose... not because i couldn't but because i dont want to... im still in my "searchng-for-myself" mode.... i have drank and been drunk, i have smoked and been fumigated, but i doubt its something i want to do right now.... not where i am right now... not where I am right now.... maybe someday i will start drinking and/or smoking and/or praying again, but thats because i'm human.... i will stumble and reach out for support eventually.... i am not superman.... maybe it isn't even stumbling and reaching for support... maybe the path of rightousness is to get drunk and smoke and pray like most other humans.... what exactly is the point of that random thought?.... i dont know.... maybe it will wake up the dead spirits that lie withing most of us... the spirits of Genius, Knowledge, Ambition, Pride and others just like them....
balls.... another ramble-piece about myself... im vain to the point of being repetitive and i forgive myself for being so.... yeah... fuck it... i am mine and i dont give a fuck anymore....
balls.....
peacerespectempathy
8.27.2005
"reaching out into the random"
sound : Friends - Led Zeppelin
jamie's started a new blog The Adventures Of Kundiman.... its been a while in the making so yeah... you go dude....
i have no time foe a real post but this is just so that the world knows im ok.... im alive and kicking so to speak.....
college started this week and it was all good.... ill post in more details later....
i leave now knowing i have contacted the world... now im just waiting for the universe to contact me....
peacerespectempathy
jamie's started a new blog The Adventures Of Kundiman.... its been a while in the making so yeah... you go dude....
i have no time foe a real post but this is just so that the world knows im ok.... im alive and kicking so to speak.....
college started this week and it was all good.... ill post in more details later....
i leave now knowing i have contacted the world... now im just waiting for the universe to contact me....
peacerespectempathy
8.20.2005
RANDOM ACCESS BULLSHIT
sound : My Doorbell - The White Stripes
"DO WE, DO WE KNOW.... WHEN WE FLY?"
these things are no different from you when you step down from you podium of ultimate holier than thou-ness.... balls to you... you cant fly.... evil bastard child of satanic snail.... bastardo..... stronzo.... ever heard of right brain dominance in a cockroach.... well you wont.... this is cos a cockroach has its brain in its back... spineless brain-backed bastards....
pluck the berry little monkey-child of the rainforest.... eat the berry little monkey-child of the rainforest.... DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE UGLY MONKEY-CHILD OF THE ALMOST DEPLETED FUCKIN' RAINFOREST!!!
NA! NA! NA! NA! NANANANA!
NA! NA! NA! NA! NANANANA!
NA! NA! NA! NA! NANANANA!
NA! NA! NA! NA! NANANANA!
i've got a hand down the front of my pants trying oh so very hard for something i want but nooooooooooo... i end up with the ultimate sign of me-ness.... yes ladies and germs... i never get what i want......
is this confounded joy that i feel right now the death of my already waning creativity?.... or is Creativity already dead?!?!?!?!?!..... i miss Creativity....
"When you gonna ring it... When you gonna ring it..."
AUDIOSLAVE IS COMING TO TAMPA ON THE 17TH OF OCTOBER!!!
WOO HOO!!!
enough of this rabid, psychotic rambling... let me get a little serious with you folks.... im starting something new here.... well it aint new i guess.... i want all of you people who read my blog regularly and/or just stumble on here by some horrid mistake of your's to just leave a comment saying the most random stuff you can think of... lets just say its an exercise in randomness that beats every ounce of sense in your head... yes.... random nonsense.... that is the way of man... we are nonsensical hence the joy attained in our creation and in our coming into contact of nonsense...
as i said earlier... enough of my rambling... now it's your turn... as robert plant has said so rightly.... "Ramble On!"
"aljdsfh ouf9769airo 248yr9w 8yf wo 0uher 90724y9quh rf98 wq7tf9 w8 ayd98 ydp9....."
with that being said.... i bid you maggots, ladies and germs, adieu...
peacerespectempathy
"DO WE, DO WE KNOW.... WHEN WE FLY?"
these things are no different from you when you step down from you podium of ultimate holier than thou-ness.... balls to you... you cant fly.... evil bastard child of satanic snail.... bastardo..... stronzo.... ever heard of right brain dominance in a cockroach.... well you wont.... this is cos a cockroach has its brain in its back... spineless brain-backed bastards....
pluck the berry little monkey-child of the rainforest.... eat the berry little monkey-child of the rainforest.... DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE UGLY MONKEY-CHILD OF THE ALMOST DEPLETED FUCKIN' RAINFOREST!!!
NA! NA! NA! NA! NANANANA!
NA! NA! NA! NA! NANANANA!
NA! NA! NA! NA! NANANANA!
NA! NA! NA! NA! NANANANA!
i've got a hand down the front of my pants trying oh so very hard for something i want but nooooooooooo... i end up with the ultimate sign of me-ness.... yes ladies and germs... i never get what i want......
is this confounded joy that i feel right now the death of my already waning creativity?.... or is Creativity already dead?!?!?!?!?!..... i miss Creativity....
now that i got through that in one piece, let me ponder on other things that i ponder on.... what exactly do i ponder on?.... hmm... my faculties of thought have been shut down thanks to the numbing sameness of a somewhat content life... like a few hours ago.... i ordered three cds from the BMG site with the wrong card... i typed in the card that was empty.... how fricking stupid is that?.... DAMN!....Dear Creativity,
I know that you usually are at your best when you are in the company of Depression and Uselessness... but hey... you're with me now (or should I say leaving me...) but anyway.... tell me dude... how's it been in heaven?.... tell me... do snickers bars and candy really grow on trees?... and do the rivers have soda flowing in them?... oh well, you know the drill... hit me back dude... seriously missing your influence....
yours in fear and loathing,
(a la HST)
The Scarred PhilosopherPS: my head just fell off my shoulder. - TSP
"When you gonna ring it... When you gonna ring it..."
AUDIOSLAVE IS COMING TO TAMPA ON THE 17TH OF OCTOBER!!!
WOO HOO!!!
enough of this rabid, psychotic rambling... let me get a little serious with you folks.... im starting something new here.... well it aint new i guess.... i want all of you people who read my blog regularly and/or just stumble on here by some horrid mistake of your's to just leave a comment saying the most random stuff you can think of... lets just say its an exercise in randomness that beats every ounce of sense in your head... yes.... random nonsense.... that is the way of man... we are nonsensical hence the joy attained in our creation and in our coming into contact of nonsense...
as i said earlier... enough of my rambling... now it's your turn... as robert plant has said so rightly.... "Ramble On!"
"aljdsfh ouf9769airo 248yr9w 8yf wo 0uher 90724y9quh rf98 wq7tf9 w8 ayd98 ydp9....."
with that being said.... i bid you maggots, ladies and germs, adieu...
peacerespectempathy
8.14.2005
of tiff, pigfuckers, wordsperm and braincondoms
sound : You're a Better Man than I - The Yardbirds
its true ladies and germs... the piguckers are taking over the world.... it always happens this way.... you go ahead and step up on the podium when the sky falls down on your head.... and in the deep lonliness that you find yourself in you grab hold of somebody....
i made a friend.... she is me in female form... seriously... her name is tiffnie.... she's crazy.... i met her at the mcdonald's where i work... she came in to try out for the job.... we got to talking and we walked home together (she lives close to my place)... later that day we walked around for like four hours just talking to each other and doing random stuff... she's really fun... we prank called her friend... he got pissed though..... we talk to each other all the time and when she had to go to mcdonald's to exchange her uniform because it was too big (she's tiny... just 5'1") she said she was hungry.... i just had an ice cream but she had two burgers and a dr peppers.... we sat by the pond in her lawn and spoke for hours.... later on we started teasing the fish and one of em (stupid bastard) tried to bite my hand a la Jaws... i mean it jumped out of the water with its mouth open and reached to within a hair's length from my finger.... we planned on watching "charlie and the chocolate factory" on friday but that didnt work out because i got busy...
oh yeah... thomas uncle's mother passed away.... he's gone to india and minto and i have to go stay at the store whenever we're free.... thats why i couldnt go to the movie....
oh yeah... me and tiff work together and we'll be going to HCC together once school starts....
run simba... run... as fast as you can... the pigfuckers are coming... we believe in one god, the farter almighty, creator of heaven, earth and malluland.....
well... i finally joined a library here... its a good one... right now i'm reading "mainlines, blood feasts and bad taste" by lester bangs and "fear and loathing in america" by hunter s thompson.... both of them are geniuses... truly....
balls to you mrs robinson, jesus hates you more than you could say
hey, hey, hey
its strange the amount you have to wait for eveything.... i say pink floyd's "dsotm" and "wish you were here" for $9.99 at circuit city... im gonna get em as soon as i get paid... i just bought a yardbirds' cd there for 7 bucks yesterday... woo hoo....
have you ever seen a monkey bray?... well, i have... its true that it's now a very pretty sight but it is very beautiful.... "RUN YOU BASTARDS... THE CAVALIER'S COMING... RUN!!! RUN!!!!"
maybe i'm just confused but i dont know what to type out... at moments of intense creativity i have loads of ideas swirling around in my head like a vile (funny how vile is an annagram of evil and they both more or less mean the same) pot of gooey wordsperm out of my phallic mind... yes, my mind is phallic... i thrust my thoughts to places that i shouldn't thrust at... hence i have prematurely ejaculated wordsperm when i shouldn't and when it comes to the real game... i'm stuck with a blank screen.... i need some brain viagra... energy boosters even....
censorship is the condom of the mind.....
but doesn't everybody say that you should use a condom to keep things safe... i dunno... influenced writing and muttawa creativity is not safe.... braincondoms lead to that... i prefer the risk of venereal disease infested writing over the clean cut herdknowledge found in the world....
we are buying a pc today... i'll post in the specs later... im at the library right now..... wordsperm, wordshit... it's all the same right now... i have no time to think out an elaborate entry on my life.... i'll leave you maggots now with some wise words out of tiff's mouth,
its true ladies and germs... the piguckers are taking over the world.... it always happens this way.... you go ahead and step up on the podium when the sky falls down on your head.... and in the deep lonliness that you find yourself in you grab hold of somebody....
i made a friend.... she is me in female form... seriously... her name is tiffnie.... she's crazy.... i met her at the mcdonald's where i work... she came in to try out for the job.... we got to talking and we walked home together (she lives close to my place)... later that day we walked around for like four hours just talking to each other and doing random stuff... she's really fun... we prank called her friend... he got pissed though..... we talk to each other all the time and when she had to go to mcdonald's to exchange her uniform because it was too big (she's tiny... just 5'1") she said she was hungry.... i just had an ice cream but she had two burgers and a dr peppers.... we sat by the pond in her lawn and spoke for hours.... later on we started teasing the fish and one of em (stupid bastard) tried to bite my hand a la Jaws... i mean it jumped out of the water with its mouth open and reached to within a hair's length from my finger.... we planned on watching "charlie and the chocolate factory" on friday but that didnt work out because i got busy...
oh yeah... thomas uncle's mother passed away.... he's gone to india and minto and i have to go stay at the store whenever we're free.... thats why i couldnt go to the movie....
oh yeah... me and tiff work together and we'll be going to HCC together once school starts....
run simba... run... as fast as you can... the pigfuckers are coming... we believe in one god, the farter almighty, creator of heaven, earth and malluland.....
well... i finally joined a library here... its a good one... right now i'm reading "mainlines, blood feasts and bad taste" by lester bangs and "fear and loathing in america" by hunter s thompson.... both of them are geniuses... truly....
balls to you mrs robinson, jesus hates you more than you could say
hey, hey, hey
its strange the amount you have to wait for eveything.... i say pink floyd's "dsotm" and "wish you were here" for $9.99 at circuit city... im gonna get em as soon as i get paid... i just bought a yardbirds' cd there for 7 bucks yesterday... woo hoo....
have you ever seen a monkey bray?... well, i have... its true that it's now a very pretty sight but it is very beautiful.... "RUN YOU BASTARDS... THE CAVALIER'S COMING... RUN!!! RUN!!!!"
maybe i'm just confused but i dont know what to type out... at moments of intense creativity i have loads of ideas swirling around in my head like a vile (funny how vile is an annagram of evil and they both more or less mean the same) pot of gooey wordsperm out of my phallic mind... yes, my mind is phallic... i thrust my thoughts to places that i shouldn't thrust at... hence i have prematurely ejaculated wordsperm when i shouldn't and when it comes to the real game... i'm stuck with a blank screen.... i need some brain viagra... energy boosters even....
censorship is the condom of the mind.....
but doesn't everybody say that you should use a condom to keep things safe... i dunno... influenced writing and muttawa creativity is not safe.... braincondoms lead to that... i prefer the risk of venereal disease infested writing over the clean cut herdknowledge found in the world....
we are buying a pc today... i'll post in the specs later... im at the library right now..... wordsperm, wordshit... it's all the same right now... i have no time to think out an elaborate entry on my life.... i'll leave you maggots now with some wise words out of tiff's mouth,
"i fart in your general direction!"
peacerespectempathy
peacerespectempathy
8.07.2005
huh?...
sound : Castles Made of Sand - Jimi Hendrix
minto and i went out and played pool last night... it was ok... it was with some people from his church... the bartender kinda looked at me like i was some sad shmuck when i asked for a coke... heh heh heh....its ok though... the music there was good...
oh yeah... to all my friends... happy friendship day... blah blah... yada yada....
peacerespectempathy
minto and i went out and played pool last night... it was ok... it was with some people from his church... the bartender kinda looked at me like i was some sad shmuck when i asked for a coke... heh heh heh....its ok though... the music there was good...
oh yeah... to all my friends... happy friendship day... blah blah... yada yada....
peacerespectempathy
8.06.2005
"Where did you sleep last night?"
sound : Time - Pink Floyd
while i was talking to the chicken wing that was stuck inbetween the the floor and the bottom of the table, it told me that the time had come.... and i agreed... the time had come...
the time had come...
we moved into the new apartment last night.... i kinda like the place... it aint humongous but hey... its all good... i got a job which seem ok... not too bad... atleast the people are friendly... yeah.... school starts in a little while.... yeah... its all good...
the thing i miss right now are "the guys", music and my side burns....
i miss "the guys"....
i miss music...
and lastly, i miss my sideburns.....
peacerespectempathy
while i was talking to the chicken wing that was stuck inbetween the the floor and the bottom of the table, it told me that the time had come.... and i agreed... the time had come...
the time had come...
we moved into the new apartment last night.... i kinda like the place... it aint humongous but hey... its all good... i got a job which seem ok... not too bad... atleast the people are friendly... yeah.... school starts in a little while.... yeah... its all good...
the thing i miss right now are "the guys", music and my side burns....
i miss "the guys"....
i miss music...
and lastly, i miss my sideburns.....
peacerespectempathy
8.04.2005
balls...
sound : Be Yourself - Audioslave
i got myself a job at mcdonalds today.... joined there cos there's a 50% college reimbursement program... and to join mcdonalds i had to shave off my goatie and my sideburns (shorter than my ear-lobes)... aah yes, the changes one makes to straighten their lives... the job is good... like today i got 3 hours and 15 minutes of clocked work time for watching two aliens learn about the superiority of earthly drive-thrus... balls... i don't feel like typing out stuff right now... i miss my facial hair....
i think ill go and watch joey... maybe that'll cheer me up....
balls...
peacerespectempathy
i got myself a job at mcdonalds today.... joined there cos there's a 50% college reimbursement program... and to join mcdonalds i had to shave off my goatie and my sideburns (shorter than my ear-lobes)... aah yes, the changes one makes to straighten their lives... the job is good... like today i got 3 hours and 15 minutes of clocked work time for watching two aliens learn about the superiority of earthly drive-thrus... balls... i don't feel like typing out stuff right now... i miss my facial hair....
i think ill go and watch joey... maybe that'll cheer me up....
balls...
peacerespectempathy
7.26.2005
"Can Superman carry Lois Lane's baby?"
i saw this at the UG forum... it seemed so very screwed up that i had to quote it out here...
this was said by somebody named JHND4588 from Honolulu Hawai'i.......
and what was he/she thinking when he typed out the title?....
this was said by somebody named JHND4588 from Honolulu Hawai'i.......
and what was he/she thinking when he typed out the title?....
"Well I saw the movie Mallrats and it got me thinking "Can Lois Lane be the carrier of Superman's baby?" He's an alien. The only way he can do her is with a Kryptonite condum, but that might kill him. Not if he uses the red kryptonite, but that's a whole different story. By the time his sperm goes through her body it might feel like a bullet being shot in her. Even if she does carry his baby the baby can kick right through her if she gets a tan cause of our yellow sun. Only Wonder Woman has a womb that strong. Then I thougt of other superheros like spider-man. His whole physical body is made into a a human-spider. He can make little spider babies with Mary-Jane. His sperm might look like web shooting in her. Batman's lucky cause he's a human."
7.21.2005
7.20.2005
moan # 5427
sound : Instinct Blues - The White Stripes
i wish i could go to pizza hut for the "all-you-can-eat" offer with my friends just one more time....
just one more time.....
please......
peacerespectempathy
i wish i could go to pizza hut for the "all-you-can-eat" offer with my friends just one more time....
just one more time.....
please......
peacerespectempathy
www.vaccaro.ca
sound : light years - aldo vaccaro
anybody who loves music and doesn't check this stuff out is one A class SOB... seriously... this guy makes steve vai look like a baby.... check him out... aldo vaccaro is god.....
anybody who loves music and doesn't check this stuff out is one A class SOB... seriously... this guy makes steve vai look like a baby.... check him out... aldo vaccaro is god.....
peacerespectempathy
7.17.2005
"Damn boy!... You got the prettiest eyes!"
sound : Who Are You - The Who
"a flower and a brillo please..."
"gimme a rose and a chore-boy.... thanks man...."
"umm... do you... like.. sell the rose-flower thing and the ... umm... brillo?..."
"hey there... the usual please...."
its funny how everything has changed... i feel totally at ease selling paraphernalia that boosts decadance... i sell lottery tickets and lotto numbers... i sell everything that is considered evil.... yes ladies and germs... i work in thomas uncle's store now... just so that i can learn the ropes.....
the shops located in a real tough neighbourhood on nebraska street... real tough... drug peddlers and crack whores galore... plus all the junkies you can even dream of... you get to meet everyone... the serious faced stoners... the happy crack-heads... the trash-talking trailer trash couple.... the hardcore bikers and possibly every other type of person imaginable....
remember in one of the previous posts i asked why i never met the interesting people... well, wish granted.... a huge (and i mean huge... she/he/it must be over 6 feet tall) black transvestite tells me, and i quote, "Damn boy!... You got the prettiest eyes!".... i was like... "thanks.... i think..."... and yesterday, this crack whore who just got out of the local pen in the morning tells me that i'm sexy... i guess she thought i had some cash on me...
there's this church across the road from the shop... a baptist church... so once in a whiule you get to see the "praise the lord" type of people.... one lady from the church comes and asks me what i use on my hair because she thought it looked real nice.... she said it looked like i just walked out of a salon.... this was at 5 in the evening... i had combed my hair at 7 in the morning before leaving for work... so people in india, "Set Wet" really works.... "very, very sexy"... heh heh heh....
there's this thing that we sell... its called a "rose"... it's a little plastic rose inside a small glass tube.... everybody knows that people who buy the rose remove the little flower and use the glass tube to snort coke.... then there's the usual things... the ball point pen used in the same way... all you gotta do is remove the refill and use it.... plus there's the brillo... a copper dish cleaning scrubber.... the junkies burn the coke and the scrubber and snort the stuff through the tube.... onto the next thing.... the phillies.... cigars.... cheap cigars... just 60 cents each.... they buy the phillies and remove the tobacco and roll them into joints.... yeah.... i'm working in heaven.... heh heh heh....
the day before yesterday this man came up and bought lottery tickets for US$ 225..... the poor bastard... he must have spent almost all his weekly earnings on the lottery....
about the place where we live... i really like it... after living in a big crouded city my whole life, this quite suburbian type of lifestyle really appeals to me... the only problems is that getting from A to B is a pain in the ass... everything is so far away.... for example, i'd have to get a car no matter what.... because getting to college would be near impossible for me otherwise.... the closest bus-stop is 2 miles away and then i'd have to travel for about a half hour to get to the nearest college from here.....
finally, i'm in a place where i feel thin... most people here are fatter than me so i dont feel all bloated up... heh heh heh....
we're still crashing in with thomas uncle because our flat isnt ready yet... they're like doing all the maintenance and repairs so it might take another 2 or 3 days.....
i went to church today.... the little kid sitting infront of me had a toy grenade in his pocket.... i couldn't help but smile everytime he pulled it out and made like he was throwing it at something....
florida's good... but like i told hammsa yesterday, there's something about jeddah that i miss.... i dunno what it is.... when i was there i hated the place but now i miss it... what is wrong with me?.... its just something... something makes me feel -
INCOMPLETE! [drops down to his knees and clutches his chest with his left hand while grotesquely twisting his face into a mask of extreme pain like his balls are being squeezed, then a wind comes up and blows leaves all about and he grabs a handfull of sand and throws it into the air, which inturn falls promptly into his eyes...]
heh heh heh....minto looks like a backstreet boy.... he looks like that kevin guy.... heh heh heh.... i cant stop making fun of him about that.... he's even got the beard.... heh heh heh....
so goodbye my dear munchkins... we shall meet at another time... the same place, another time and another circumstance.... ta ta.....
peacerespectempathy
PS: minto, akshay and i are gonna go and watch batman returns today.... we got free tickets!... bwa ha ha ha suckers!....
"a flower and a brillo please..."
"gimme a rose and a chore-boy.... thanks man...."
"umm... do you... like.. sell the rose-flower thing and the ... umm... brillo?..."
"hey there... the usual please...."
its funny how everything has changed... i feel totally at ease selling paraphernalia that boosts decadance... i sell lottery tickets and lotto numbers... i sell everything that is considered evil.... yes ladies and germs... i work in thomas uncle's store now... just so that i can learn the ropes.....
the shops located in a real tough neighbourhood on nebraska street... real tough... drug peddlers and crack whores galore... plus all the junkies you can even dream of... you get to meet everyone... the serious faced stoners... the happy crack-heads... the trash-talking trailer trash couple.... the hardcore bikers and possibly every other type of person imaginable....
remember in one of the previous posts i asked why i never met the interesting people... well, wish granted.... a huge (and i mean huge... she/he/it must be over 6 feet tall) black transvestite tells me, and i quote, "Damn boy!... You got the prettiest eyes!".... i was like... "thanks.... i think..."... and yesterday, this crack whore who just got out of the local pen in the morning tells me that i'm sexy... i guess she thought i had some cash on me...
there's this church across the road from the shop... a baptist church... so once in a whiule you get to see the "praise the lord" type of people.... one lady from the church comes and asks me what i use on my hair because she thought it looked real nice.... she said it looked like i just walked out of a salon.... this was at 5 in the evening... i had combed my hair at 7 in the morning before leaving for work... so people in india, "Set Wet" really works.... "very, very sexy"... heh heh heh....
there's this thing that we sell... its called a "rose"... it's a little plastic rose inside a small glass tube.... everybody knows that people who buy the rose remove the little flower and use the glass tube to snort coke.... then there's the usual things... the ball point pen used in the same way... all you gotta do is remove the refill and use it.... plus there's the brillo... a copper dish cleaning scrubber.... the junkies burn the coke and the scrubber and snort the stuff through the tube.... onto the next thing.... the phillies.... cigars.... cheap cigars... just 60 cents each.... they buy the phillies and remove the tobacco and roll them into joints.... yeah.... i'm working in heaven.... heh heh heh....
the day before yesterday this man came up and bought lottery tickets for US$ 225..... the poor bastard... he must have spent almost all his weekly earnings on the lottery....
about the place where we live... i really like it... after living in a big crouded city my whole life, this quite suburbian type of lifestyle really appeals to me... the only problems is that getting from A to B is a pain in the ass... everything is so far away.... for example, i'd have to get a car no matter what.... because getting to college would be near impossible for me otherwise.... the closest bus-stop is 2 miles away and then i'd have to travel for about a half hour to get to the nearest college from here.....
finally, i'm in a place where i feel thin... most people here are fatter than me so i dont feel all bloated up... heh heh heh....
we're still crashing in with thomas uncle because our flat isnt ready yet... they're like doing all the maintenance and repairs so it might take another 2 or 3 days.....
i went to church today.... the little kid sitting infront of me had a toy grenade in his pocket.... i couldn't help but smile everytime he pulled it out and made like he was throwing it at something....
florida's good... but like i told hammsa yesterday, there's something about jeddah that i miss.... i dunno what it is.... when i was there i hated the place but now i miss it... what is wrong with me?.... its just something... something makes me feel -
INCOMPLETE! [drops down to his knees and clutches his chest with his left hand while grotesquely twisting his face into a mask of extreme pain like his balls are being squeezed, then a wind comes up and blows leaves all about and he grabs a handfull of sand and throws it into the air, which inturn falls promptly into his eyes...]
heh heh heh....minto looks like a backstreet boy.... he looks like that kevin guy.... heh heh heh.... i cant stop making fun of him about that.... he's even got the beard.... heh heh heh....
so goodbye my dear munchkins... we shall meet at another time... the same place, another time and another circumstance.... ta ta.....
peacerespectempathy
PS: minto, akshay and i are gonna go and watch batman returns today.... we got free tickets!... bwa ha ha ha suckers!....
7.12.2005
i own adnan sami's left hand
sound : neet's lesbo gang song from akhil's blog is playing in my head.... HALP!!
help me! help me mr munchkin man... im at thomas uncles house in florida... help me me munchkin man... i have so much to type and so less time... mr munchkin man, please make my fingers and my mind go faster... please?....
yes, dear gendle fools... i have finally reached the US of A.... im in tampa right now... at thomas uncle's place.... its actually real nice here... all green and stuff.... yeah....
leaving chennai was kinda tough....everybody was all weepy and stuff... sruthi wouldnt look at me cos she was teary eyed... poor kid.... everybody was there....
the flights were good... chennai to paris... delta airways, they played some tamil movie... balls... it was a lame rocky rip-off......
thank you mr munchkin man... thank you....
we had a stop over at paris for like 4 hours... it was ok... everything was kinda disorderly cos there was a strike on that day.... so yeah... i saw the eifel tower again... only thing was that from the plane it looked like i could squish it between my thumb and index finger.....
then i closed my eyes and stomped through paris like godzilla... yes i was huge... nothing could stop me.... NOTHING!!!!
paris to NY.... looong flight.... got over real fast cos i slept through it... there were 3 movies that played on that flight... i watched only one... i fell asleep all through the rest.... i watched robots.... it was ok... plkus the music by the blue man group was a cool touch.... i missed "hitch" (thank god-dude...) and "guess who" (CRAP! FUCK! &%$&^%#&^%#&^$#^%$# ).... then we had a short while at the JFK airport, which i didnt like all too much because i had to walk for miles with my guitar, mama's electric veena and a strolley that lacked a wheel......
the wheel said thus after escaping from the evil clutches of the strolley, "FREEEEEE!!!!"
from JFK to tampa we flew on song airways... i really liked song... the atmosphere was super friendly and the inflight entertainment was uber cool..... they let us vote on what type of safety recording we wanted.... nobody chose the new age version with its almost orgasmic female voice and annoying background sounds...... a few people chose flamenco.... and my personal favorite was played... the salsa safety dance... this stewardess even did all the actions while dancing with the background salsa over which this mexican voice told the instructions and asked every one to move their booties....
and the inflight entertainment was cool... they had satellite tv from dish tv.... small games and most importantly mp3 quality music.... they had a good collection of cds of which you could listen to or make playlists from and listen to.....i listened to john lennon's "acoustic", bruce springsteen's "devils and dust" and u2's "how to dismantle an atom bomb".... plus a lotof other stuff... later on i watched howard stern on E!.....
jenna haze has great pom-poms... wonder why they blurred them?....
we reached tampa at midnight (aroundish)... thomas uncle minto and mercy aunty were there to pick us up.... we are at their place for the next few days till the apartment we took is all fixed up... we applied for social security today and checked out a cool school for akshay...
it's been a long day.... my body is all messed up...my eyes tell me it's daytime... my body tells me its midnight... my mind tells me that i miss everyone... and my inner mutt (more on him later) tells me to go to sleep....
i called up almost everyone before leaving.... ajnu, akhil and neet, amu, steffi, dee, sibi, rakesh, nileena (i didnt get to meet her... shit!), vimal, uday, tanky..... yeah... i couldnt get saritha and leju.... and to all those i didnt call... take this as a honorary phone call....
to all my friends; a huge bear-hug.... avi style
PS: oh yeah... one more thing... i sprained my left hand the day before leaving chennai.... i stuck it into a moving ceiling fan... heh heh heh... i was playing dumb charades with my cousins, christy and thommen when my team won a point... i got all excited and pumped my fist into the air screaming "YES!" which instantly turned into an "OH CRAP! SHIT!".... the blade hit me on the back of my hand between my thumb and forefinger.... it swelled up to double its size... i had to take an x-ray and everything....
how many of you ppl can say that you've stopped a ceiling fan with your bare hands???... i can....
peacerespectempathy
help me! help me mr munchkin man... im at thomas uncles house in florida... help me me munchkin man... i have so much to type and so less time... mr munchkin man, please make my fingers and my mind go faster... please?....
yes, dear gendle fools... i have finally reached the US of A.... im in tampa right now... at thomas uncle's place.... its actually real nice here... all green and stuff.... yeah....
leaving chennai was kinda tough....everybody was all weepy and stuff... sruthi wouldnt look at me cos she was teary eyed... poor kid.... everybody was there....
the flights were good... chennai to paris... delta airways, they played some tamil movie... balls... it was a lame rocky rip-off......
thank you mr munchkin man... thank you....
we had a stop over at paris for like 4 hours... it was ok... everything was kinda disorderly cos there was a strike on that day.... so yeah... i saw the eifel tower again... only thing was that from the plane it looked like i could squish it between my thumb and index finger.....
then i closed my eyes and stomped through paris like godzilla... yes i was huge... nothing could stop me.... NOTHING!!!!
paris to NY.... looong flight.... got over real fast cos i slept through it... there were 3 movies that played on that flight... i watched only one... i fell asleep all through the rest.... i watched robots.... it was ok... plkus the music by the blue man group was a cool touch.... i missed "hitch" (thank god-dude...) and "guess who" (CRAP! FUCK! &%$&^%#&^%#&^$#^%$# ).... then we had a short while at the JFK airport, which i didnt like all too much because i had to walk for miles with my guitar, mama's electric veena and a strolley that lacked a wheel......
the wheel said thus after escaping from the evil clutches of the strolley, "FREEEEEE!!!!"
from JFK to tampa we flew on song airways... i really liked song... the atmosphere was super friendly and the inflight entertainment was uber cool..... they let us vote on what type of safety recording we wanted.... nobody chose the new age version with its almost orgasmic female voice and annoying background sounds...... a few people chose flamenco.... and my personal favorite was played... the salsa safety dance... this stewardess even did all the actions while dancing with the background salsa over which this mexican voice told the instructions and asked every one to move their booties....
and the inflight entertainment was cool... they had satellite tv from dish tv.... small games and most importantly mp3 quality music.... they had a good collection of cds of which you could listen to or make playlists from and listen to.....i listened to john lennon's "acoustic", bruce springsteen's "devils and dust" and u2's "how to dismantle an atom bomb".... plus a lotof other stuff... later on i watched howard stern on E!.....
jenna haze has great pom-poms... wonder why they blurred them?....
we reached tampa at midnight (aroundish)... thomas uncle minto and mercy aunty were there to pick us up.... we are at their place for the next few days till the apartment we took is all fixed up... we applied for social security today and checked out a cool school for akshay...
it's been a long day.... my body is all messed up...my eyes tell me it's daytime... my body tells me its midnight... my mind tells me that i miss everyone... and my inner mutt (more on him later) tells me to go to sleep....
i called up almost everyone before leaving.... ajnu, akhil and neet, amu, steffi, dee, sibi, rakesh, nileena (i didnt get to meet her... shit!), vimal, uday, tanky..... yeah... i couldnt get saritha and leju.... and to all those i didnt call... take this as a honorary phone call....
to all my friends; a huge bear-hug.... avi style
PS: oh yeah... one more thing... i sprained my left hand the day before leaving chennai.... i stuck it into a moving ceiling fan... heh heh heh... i was playing dumb charades with my cousins, christy and thommen when my team won a point... i got all excited and pumped my fist into the air screaming "YES!" which instantly turned into an "OH CRAP! SHIT!".... the blade hit me on the back of my hand between my thumb and forefinger.... it swelled up to double its size... i had to take an x-ray and everything....
how many of you ppl can say that you've stopped a ceiling fan with your bare hands???... i can....
peacerespectempathy
7.05.2005
the pigs flew over the moon...
sound : Larks' Tongues in Aspic, Part One - King Crimson
last night the moon fell into my backyard.... i aproached it and we had a small conversation.... we talked of this and that, of monkeys and unicorns, of flying pigs and money, of poisons and nectar, of god-dude and men, of many things that would make this list seem unending...
to make a tall tale short, she was stuck... the moon didnt know how to goback into orbit... then when i asked her the time she said it was almost midnght and i thought to myself "aah yes, the 4th of july... let me be one of the first ppl to send neet a card..." so i go online and i noticed that the date shown was the 5th of july.. i thought my pc was wrong so i checked my watch... damn! it was showing the same... as a last resort i asked the moon what the dat was.... shee too said that it was the 5th... that's when i realized that i had missed neet's birthday because i had the date all muddled up... what i thought was the 4th of july was actually the 5th... as a result of mu dumb-foundedness i had spen the whole of the 4th of july (which i thought was the third) reminding myself of neet's birthday...
as a last measure i posted an entry wishin her... i'm sorry kiddo... i'm a bum...
after that the moon and i resumed our conversation and we got to the mini jeddah reunion we had here in chirakadavu... it was good... joji aunty and aj was there... tankachen uncle, sus aunty and jaimie were there.... alex uncle, pearlcy aunty, joel and noel were there... unni uncle and kalyani aunty were there... robin uncle and binu aunty were there... geetha aunty and kenny were there... ousapachen uncle, ancy aunty, anu and vinu were there... then here was baby & molly and meenu & joe... also mathew and nyle... yeah, loads of people i hadnt seen in a long time...
another thing... how come so many girls that i know have had their stints with modeling/acting?... nileena modelled, this girl meenu was a miss kerala contestant (she got the miss beautiful skin award) and a model,surya did this modelling thingy too and this girl in my batch from ooty, roma.. she's in a telugu movie... she even got good reviews it seems... and look at me... i look like a bum.... hmm...
as i said all this the moon told me about how she felt inferior to venus... she said that even though she was larger and much more beautiful to the naked eye it was venus who became the symbol of feminity and virginal beauty... and i told the moon that it's always like that... the others always has it better than you... no matter what... the grass is always greener on the other side... as the hole weight of our conversation set in, the moon and i sat back on our bamboo lounge chairs and sipped our chiantes and ate some nice liver a la fava beans...
it was nice to talk face to face with aj after such a long time... she and joji aunty spent the night over here and we talked for a while and stuff... nice...
we (that being the moon and i) watched bits and pieces of Live 8... of what i saw (i missed the audioslave set...) the show was real good... i couldn't watch the whole thing live because that was the day everybody came over but VH1 showed the whole thing as a rerun the next day (sunday)... so the oon and i sat and watched as much as possible... imagine... it started at 12 noon and ended at 10:30 PM!!.... one thing's for sure though... of all the artists that i saw... it was the older artists that really shone... u2, the who, sting, paul mccartney, velvet revolver pink floyd... PINK FLOYD!!... THE PIGS FLEW BABY!!! oh yeah... robbie williams did a good job in engaging the crowd... he performed well...
the opening song "sgt pepper's lonely hearts club" by u2 and paul mccartney was awesome!... the u2 set was great... the who were awesome... "who are you?..."... pete townsend was king.... his guitaring was just magnificent...the highlight of the sting set (for me atleast) was josh freese's (APC) drumming... and his voice was heavenly... "every breath you take" was a highlight with the altered lyrics and all... the velvet revolver set was great although there were only 2 songs ("fall to pieces" & "slither") but the ending was cool when scot weiland pulled out his signature megaphone and let the siren wail out in the ending of slither.... the closing by paul mccartney was just beautiful... "drive my car" was awesome... but it was the ending that made me smile... "hey jude"... the ending "naa na na na-na-na-naa..." bit with everyone on stage and the whoole crowd singing along was perfect... and pink floyd... pink floyd was perfect... i cant say anything more... just fucking perfect... they opened out their set with "breathe" followed by "comfortable numb"... david gilmour's solo here was nothing short of heavenly... then came the beautiful "money" and they ended their set woth "wish you were here" which waters announced was a tribute to the late syd barret.....
the moon and i watched the whole thing in total concentration and after the set she turned to me and said, "The pigs have flown!"
yes, the pigs HAVE flown...
peacerespectempathy
last night the moon fell into my backyard.... i aproached it and we had a small conversation.... we talked of this and that, of monkeys and unicorns, of flying pigs and money, of poisons and nectar, of god-dude and men, of many things that would make this list seem unending...
to make a tall tale short, she was stuck... the moon didnt know how to goback into orbit... then when i asked her the time she said it was almost midnght and i thought to myself "aah yes, the 4th of july... let me be one of the first ppl to send neet a card..." so i go online and i noticed that the date shown was the 5th of july.. i thought my pc was wrong so i checked my watch... damn! it was showing the same... as a last resort i asked the moon what the dat was.... shee too said that it was the 5th... that's when i realized that i had missed neet's birthday because i had the date all muddled up... what i thought was the 4th of july was actually the 5th... as a result of mu dumb-foundedness i had spen the whole of the 4th of july (which i thought was the third) reminding myself of neet's birthday...
as a last measure i posted an entry wishin her... i'm sorry kiddo... i'm a bum...
after that the moon and i resumed our conversation and we got to the mini jeddah reunion we had here in chirakadavu... it was good... joji aunty and aj was there... tankachen uncle, sus aunty and jaimie were there.... alex uncle, pearlcy aunty, joel and noel were there... unni uncle and kalyani aunty were there... robin uncle and binu aunty were there... geetha aunty and kenny were there... ousapachen uncle, ancy aunty, anu and vinu were there... then here was baby & molly and meenu & joe... also mathew and nyle... yeah, loads of people i hadnt seen in a long time...
another thing... how come so many girls that i know have had their stints with modeling/acting?... nileena modelled, this girl meenu was a miss kerala contestant (she got the miss beautiful skin award) and a model,surya did this modelling thingy too and this girl in my batch from ooty, roma.. she's in a telugu movie... she even got good reviews it seems... and look at me... i look like a bum.... hmm...
as i said all this the moon told me about how she felt inferior to venus... she said that even though she was larger and much more beautiful to the naked eye it was venus who became the symbol of feminity and virginal beauty... and i told the moon that it's always like that... the others always has it better than you... no matter what... the grass is always greener on the other side... as the hole weight of our conversation set in, the moon and i sat back on our bamboo lounge chairs and sipped our chiantes and ate some nice liver a la fava beans...
it was nice to talk face to face with aj after such a long time... she and joji aunty spent the night over here and we talked for a while and stuff... nice...
we (that being the moon and i) watched bits and pieces of Live 8... of what i saw (i missed the audioslave set...
the opening song "sgt pepper's lonely hearts club" by u2 and paul mccartney was awesome!... the u2 set was great... the who were awesome... "who are you?..."... pete townsend was king.... his guitaring was just magnificent...the highlight of the sting set (for me atleast) was josh freese's (APC) drumming... and his voice was heavenly... "every breath you take" was a highlight with the altered lyrics and all... the velvet revolver set was great although there were only 2 songs ("fall to pieces" & "slither") but the ending was cool when scot weiland pulled out his signature megaphone and let the siren wail out in the ending of slither.... the closing by paul mccartney was just beautiful... "drive my car" was awesome... but it was the ending that made me smile... "hey jude"... the ending "naa na na na-na-na-naa..." bit with everyone on stage and the whoole crowd singing along was perfect... and pink floyd... pink floyd was perfect... i cant say anything more... just fucking perfect... they opened out their set with "breathe" followed by "comfortable numb"... david gilmour's solo here was nothing short of heavenly... then came the beautiful "money" and they ended their set woth "wish you were here" which waters announced was a tribute to the late syd barret.....
the moon and i watched the whole thing in total concentration and after the set she turned to me and said, "The pigs have flown!"
yes, the pigs HAVE flown...
peacerespectempathy
7.04.2005
6.30.2005
beaconesque
sound :My Generation - The Who
i can't sleep... there's too much running through my head....
everyone i know is so far away...
arun is in canada, ajnu is in malluland or now but she's leaving for canada too, tina is in mumbai, akhil and neetu are in cochin and me... im gonna be going to the US in exactly 10 days....
the others.... suren and surya are in singapore, jude is in scotland, amrith, vimal, sibi and joseph are in chennai, deepak and adang are in bangalore....
i wish i could bring them all back and hold them all in palm of my hands... everybody is so far away...
i wish i could rewind back to the times that i lived life to the fullest....
i wish i could rewind back to last christmas atleast for a little while so that i can be truly happy again...
peacerespectempathy
i can't sleep... there's too much running through my head....
everyone i know is so far away...
arun is in canada, ajnu is in malluland or now but she's leaving for canada too, tina is in mumbai, akhil and neetu are in cochin and me... im gonna be going to the US in exactly 10 days....
the others.... suren and surya are in singapore, jude is in scotland, amrith, vimal, sibi and joseph are in chennai, deepak and adang are in bangalore....
i wish i could bring them all back and hold them all in palm of my hands... everybody is so far away...
i wish i could rewind back to the times that i lived life to the fullest....
i wish i could rewind back to last christmas atleast for a little while so that i can be truly happy again...
peacerespectempathy
----
sound : Baba O'Riley - The Who
[AUTHOR'S NOTE: i know this is kinda lame but it just formed while i was typing and i thought to myself "why not?"]
he wakes up with a splitting headache.... it feels like he has a jack-hammer held against the back of his head... he tries to look at the naked bulb hanging overhead... it's no use... everything's still too blurry...
he rubs his eyes and tries to look out of the window... all he sees is the empty street with garbage piled up on both side... beside him on the night-stand lie the tell-tale signs of human decadance... an empty bottle, an open pack of condoms, a few cigarette butts and a syringe...
pure white pain.... pain behind the eyes... stabbing pain...
he shuts his eyes again and presses his thumbs into his eyes to deaden the pain...
there's a smell... a sickly, sweet smell... the smell of blood.... he panics but he does not open his eyes... what happened?... he tries to think of what happened last night... no, the memories are vague... he sees bits and pieces...
car... club... girl... dancing... drinks... the drive to the motel...
GIRL!!
he opens his eyes and sees the girl... bloody... a thousand cuts on her face.... her hair matted with dry blood... her eyelids cut off, she stares up at the ceiling... he looks down on the floor... a bloody knife...
"oh god... not again..."
he gets off the bed, kneels down and starts to pray...
peacerespectempathy
[AUTHOR'S NOTE: i know this is kinda lame but it just formed while i was typing and i thought to myself "why not?"]
he wakes up with a splitting headache.... it feels like he has a jack-hammer held against the back of his head... he tries to look at the naked bulb hanging overhead... it's no use... everything's still too blurry...
he rubs his eyes and tries to look out of the window... all he sees is the empty street with garbage piled up on both side... beside him on the night-stand lie the tell-tale signs of human decadance... an empty bottle, an open pack of condoms, a few cigarette butts and a syringe...
pure white pain.... pain behind the eyes... stabbing pain...
he shuts his eyes again and presses his thumbs into his eyes to deaden the pain...
there's a smell... a sickly, sweet smell... the smell of blood.... he panics but he does not open his eyes... what happened?... he tries to think of what happened last night... no, the memories are vague... he sees bits and pieces...
car... club... girl... dancing... drinks... the drive to the motel...
GIRL!!
he opens his eyes and sees the girl... bloody... a thousand cuts on her face.... her hair matted with dry blood... her eyelids cut off, she stares up at the ceiling... he looks down on the floor... a bloody knife...
"oh god... not again..."
he gets off the bed, kneels down and starts to pray...
peacerespectempathy
6.29.2005
"He had a lot to say... He had a lot of nothing to say..."
sound : Take, Take, Take - The White Stripes
today morning, i met maynard in church... he was there in the choir with judith singing "Eulogy"... i asked him what he was doing in church and he just said that he was trying something new.... i left the church in a state of confusion only to witness a boy being crushed under an ant... the poor bastard...
i met jochu today (well he aint jochu... he calls himself joel or jojo now) anyways, hes a good kid... spoke to him for a while and stuff... he aint the same round little kid that always asked for "molachis" anymore... sheesh... why do we have to age?....
i went to a store to get myself some rat poison and guess who was there?... NOBODY!!!
i got a call from saritha today... she seems happy... spoke for a while and stuff... yeah... it felt nice to know that people haven't forgotten me yet... aj must be in malluland now... why hasn't she called... i dont have her number... papa seems to have misplaced it... aj, if you're reading this CALL ME!!!!.....
had dinner with a monkey.... he claimed that he was adolf hitler reincarnated in animal form... i told him to shove off and i ate his french fries....
went over to sus aunty's place yesterday and met tkchen uncle, sus aunty and jaimie.... spoke for a while and stuff... saw a few recent photos... it felt good...
"I saw Rita Heyward there
And it was all that I needed!"
i wish i were on the moon... maybe then i'd understand everything.... everything... why do i even bother?...
peacerespectempathy
today morning, i met maynard in church... he was there in the choir with judith singing "Eulogy"... i asked him what he was doing in church and he just said that he was trying something new.... i left the church in a state of confusion only to witness a boy being crushed under an ant... the poor bastard...
i met jochu today (well he aint jochu... he calls himself joel or jojo now) anyways, hes a good kid... spoke to him for a while and stuff... he aint the same round little kid that always asked for "molachis" anymore... sheesh... why do we have to age?....
i went to a store to get myself some rat poison and guess who was there?... NOBODY!!!
i got a call from saritha today... she seems happy... spoke for a while and stuff... yeah... it felt nice to know that people haven't forgotten me yet... aj must be in malluland now... why hasn't she called... i dont have her number... papa seems to have misplaced it... aj, if you're reading this CALL ME!!!!.....
had dinner with a monkey.... he claimed that he was adolf hitler reincarnated in animal form... i told him to shove off and i ate his french fries....
went over to sus aunty's place yesterday and met tkchen uncle, sus aunty and jaimie.... spoke for a while and stuff... saw a few recent photos... it felt good...
"I saw Rita Heyward there
And it was all that I needed!"
i wish i were on the moon... maybe then i'd understand everything.... everything... why do i even bother?...
peacerespectempathy
6.27.2005
"I never get to see the big adam's apples, the two headed people, the male lesbians, the pretty transvestites and god-dude(tte)s..."
sound :Be Yourself - Audioslave
The tidal wave of memories that flowed through my head after i left neet and akhil's place was kinda overwhelming... it was good there... i was genuinely happy.... now that's rare... we goofed around... took pics and stuff.... yeah... it was good...
oh yeah... another thing...i heard it through the grapewine (actually from akhil) that the dj guy has a freakishly large adam's apple... why the hell dont i ever get to meet these interesting folks... i never get to see the big adam's apples, the two headed people, the male lesbians, the pretty transvestites and god-dude(tte)s... im stuck with plain old everyday folks with miniscule (or in my case) or nonexistant adam's apples... right now i want to make fun of somebody... where's a freak (other than yourself) when you need one?...
meeting neet and akhil brought back memories from the past 3 yrs... but we met robin uncle and family yesterday... meeting akash was seriously disturbing since i hadnt met the kid in 10 years.... the guy has a frickin moustache!!!... in my head akash is the little chubby kid and not the tall, thin kid with a moustach... but it was good...robin uncle is still funny as hell, binu aunty hasn't changed a bit... akash is the same old quiet person as always and kashmira, well i cant say much cos i saw the kid last when she was less than a year old... nice kid though... bubbly... always a good thing to be for an 11 yr old... they had this doberman pup... just 45 days old... the little fellow was real cool....
the memories that rushed through my head after that visit was totally different... it was of another era.... going to south corniche every weekend... all the older folks wind surfing... the barbecues... it felt like a movie.... it felt like someone elses momories because i doubt i can everrr be that happy again... yes i was better off last christmas but nothing can beat the sheer bliss of childish ignorance...
i miss my guitar... i left it back in chennai... now i'll have to go for 10 days without playing my guitar.... i miss my guitar.... my fingers ache to play a tune... oh well....
i cant stop listening to "Be Yourself" (Audioslave) and "Old School Hollywood" (System Of A Down) and the whole of "Get Behind Me Satan" by The White Stripes.... "Get Behind Me Satan" is a pure work of genius.... good music....
thanks akhil "cos that was all that I needed."
oh yeah.... one more thing.... neet showed me her facial boob.... it was wierd...
peacerespectempathy
The tidal wave of memories that flowed through my head after i left neet and akhil's place was kinda overwhelming... it was good there... i was genuinely happy.... now that's rare... we goofed around... took pics and stuff.... yeah... it was good...
oh yeah... another thing...i heard it through the grapewine (actually from akhil) that the dj guy has a freakishly large adam's apple... why the hell dont i ever get to meet these interesting folks... i never get to see the big adam's apples, the two headed people, the male lesbians, the pretty transvestites and god-dude(tte)s... im stuck with plain old everyday folks with miniscule (or in my case) or nonexistant adam's apples... right now i want to make fun of somebody... where's a freak (other than yourself) when you need one?...
meeting neet and akhil brought back memories from the past 3 yrs... but we met robin uncle and family yesterday... meeting akash was seriously disturbing since i hadnt met the kid in 10 years.... the guy has a frickin moustache!!!... in my head akash is the little chubby kid and not the tall, thin kid with a moustach... but it was good...robin uncle is still funny as hell, binu aunty hasn't changed a bit... akash is the same old quiet person as always and kashmira, well i cant say much cos i saw the kid last when she was less than a year old... nice kid though... bubbly... always a good thing to be for an 11 yr old... they had this doberman pup... just 45 days old... the little fellow was real cool....
the memories that rushed through my head after that visit was totally different... it was of another era.... going to south corniche every weekend... all the older folks wind surfing... the barbecues... it felt like a movie.... it felt like someone elses momories because i doubt i can everrr be that happy again... yes i was better off last christmas but nothing can beat the sheer bliss of childish ignorance...
i miss my guitar... i left it back in chennai... now i'll have to go for 10 days without playing my guitar.... i miss my guitar.... my fingers ache to play a tune... oh well....
i cant stop listening to "Be Yourself" (Audioslave) and "Old School Hollywood" (System Of A Down) and the whole of "Get Behind Me Satan" by The White Stripes.... "Get Behind Me Satan" is a pure work of genius.... good music....
thanks akhil "cos that was all that I needed."
oh yeah.... one more thing.... neet showed me her facial boob.... it was wierd...
peacerespectempathy
6.15.2005
"Get Behind Me ****... Yeah Baby! YEAH!"
sound :Death Letter - The White Stripes
earlier this morning i sat back with a glass of mucus in one hand and some phlegm in the other... these meds are really driving me insane... my hands were shivering... i was so god damn hungry it felt like i could eat a horse... so i did.... i found out that the concoction of meds that i took were too much and my body was showing signs of shock... i was hypoglycemic and hungry as hell... and most of the time i was stoned as hell as well... now that rhymes... cool....
[fifteen years later]
"HA HA HA! YOU ARE A FUNNY MAN, YOUR JOKE IS GOOD!" and i replied to the voice "BUT DUDE, YOU ARE A LITTLE LATE... LOOK AT US.. ITS BEEN FIFTEEN YEARS SINCE I TOLD YOU THE JOKE AND WE'VE BEEN STUCK ON THE FUCKIN' CLIFF FOR SOO DAMN LONG... TUBELIGHT!... BRAIN OF FLEA... FRICKIN' SLOW-POKE RETARD!"
"SILENCE MORTAL! HOW DARE YOU INVOKE THE WRATH OF ****?.... FOR THAT YOU MUST SUFFER A MOST HORRIBLE DEATH!"... as soon as this was said a bolt of lightning (brighter and more powerful than any bolt of lightning thrown down by zeus) promptly struck geck and he fell down the cliff... he suffered no pain for he died upon impact 35000 feet below....
"OOPS!"
"DUMBASS!.. YOU KILLED THE WRONG DUDE....FOR THAT YOU MUST PERFORM AN APOLOGY RITUAL IN THE NAME OF THE GECKO..."
a few seconds later there was this sound like the grumbling of a million hungry stomachs and the sheer cliff-face beside started growing outwards until it looked like a platform that could easily accomodate a million people... then there was another sound.... it was pure evil i tell you.... i looked up to the heavens and saw a blur of red, black and white zooming down towards me... in mortal fear i instinctively curled myself into a foetal position and i waited for the meteor to hit me....
i waited....
and i waited...
and i waited....
and i waited.....
but it didnt... instead when i looked up i saw jack and meg standing there smiling down at me... meg was barefooted (like she always is while playing her kit) and jack had his creepy moushtache....
then jack said, "in memory of the gecko we shall play our new track "Blue Orchid"... and because my buddy **** told us to" and he looked up at the sky and winked.....
after this jack picked up his guitar and meg sat behind her candy cane drums and belted out the track... it was soo good and soo different that at the end of it i laid myself down on the ground and died a most peaceful death....
peacerespectempathy
earlier this morning i sat back with a glass of mucus in one hand and some phlegm in the other... these meds are really driving me insane... my hands were shivering... i was so god damn hungry it felt like i could eat a horse... so i did.... i found out that the concoction of meds that i took were too much and my body was showing signs of shock... i was hypoglycemic and hungry as hell... and most of the time i was stoned as hell as well... now that rhymes... cool....
"its a known fact.. you never believe a word of what i say... its just the waynext thing i knew i was flying with the unicorns up on planet za-za... after doing a few dives i found out that my wings were tearing thanks to the weight of my "koomba"... after getting down on the ground i went rock climbing with my buddy the gecko..... now geck and i were arguing about who had the greatest butt on earth and he kept telling me its j-lo... finally i was so sick of his jenny-philia that i had to tell him the truth..."jennifer lopez doesn't have an ass... its a friggin' coffee table for christ's sake!"... he got mad and tried to bitch-slap me... we started wrestling right there on the face of the cliff where i started to pull off a few classy moves... next thing i knew a bolt of lightning struck the sheer face of the cliff about 6 feet away from us and a voice unlike any other shouted down upon us in furious anger, "YOU FOOLS! WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING?" and i screamed back, "COS HE TRIED TO BITCH-SLAP ME FOR SAYING THAT J-LO'S BUTT LOOKS LIKE A COFFEE TABLE" and then the voice took a few seconds to understand the full weight of what i had said....
things are... but if you are to believe that you must not believe me, do you
believe when i say you shouldn't?... in that case you should believe... and now
that i told you to believe, do you believe that and not believe me when i ask
you to believe?... and incase you do believe and it aint true, dont blame me cos
i warned you...."
[fifteen years later]
"HA HA HA! YOU ARE A FUNNY MAN, YOUR JOKE IS GOOD!" and i replied to the voice "BUT DUDE, YOU ARE A LITTLE LATE... LOOK AT US.. ITS BEEN FIFTEEN YEARS SINCE I TOLD YOU THE JOKE AND WE'VE BEEN STUCK ON THE FUCKIN' CLIFF FOR SOO DAMN LONG... TUBELIGHT!... BRAIN OF FLEA... FRICKIN' SLOW-POKE RETARD!"
"SILENCE MORTAL! HOW DARE YOU INVOKE THE WRATH OF ****?.... FOR THAT YOU MUST SUFFER A MOST HORRIBLE DEATH!"... as soon as this was said a bolt of lightning (brighter and more powerful than any bolt of lightning thrown down by zeus) promptly struck geck and he fell down the cliff... he suffered no pain for he died upon impact 35000 feet below....
"OOPS!"
"DUMBASS!.. YOU KILLED THE WRONG DUDE....FOR THAT YOU MUST PERFORM AN APOLOGY RITUAL IN THE NAME OF THE GECKO..."
a few seconds later there was this sound like the grumbling of a million hungry stomachs and the sheer cliff-face beside started growing outwards until it looked like a platform that could easily accomodate a million people... then there was another sound.... it was pure evil i tell you.... i looked up to the heavens and saw a blur of red, black and white zooming down towards me... in mortal fear i instinctively curled myself into a foetal position and i waited for the meteor to hit me....
i waited....
and i waited...
and i waited....
and i waited.....
but it didnt... instead when i looked up i saw jack and meg standing there smiling down at me... meg was barefooted (like she always is while playing her kit) and jack had his creepy moushtache....
then jack said, "in memory of the gecko we shall play our new track "Blue Orchid"... and because my buddy **** told us to" and he looked up at the sky and winked.....
after this jack picked up his guitar and meg sat behind her candy cane drums and belted out the track... it was soo good and soo different that at the end of it i laid myself down on the ground and died a most peaceful death....
peacerespectempathy
6.11.2005
normal/freak
sound : Ball and Buscuit - The White Stripes
it feels so good to hear a familiar voice from time to time... most folks are lucky to have their friends around them all the time but for someone who hasn't seen their real friends in a while, just hearing their voices feels so damn good.... it's wierd what deafness can do to you....
last thing i remember i was sitting on top of the purple mushroom sipping hot chocolate...... just moments before i had punched the pink gorilla for stealinmg my nuts... the bastard!... remember the kid who sat next to you in the third grade... well, he's a cross-dressing drag queen at a major broadway show... oh hell, im on the moon again....
my only escape from this loneliness is my reading and music... i just finished paolho coehlo's "eleven minutes".... it was awesome.... totally different for him.... and right now... i started "hammer of god" by arthur c clarke.... hmm....
i stole the chocolate pudding!... i stole jesus' thunder!... ha ha ha!... my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, damn right it's better than your's... my cock is bigger than your's... bwahahahaha!!!
i just realized something... its less than a month till i reach the US... what will this new chapter of my life hold for me?... will i fare better off than now or will things just get worse.... my intuition says things are going to get better but theres always murphy's law to help fuck up things....
wait a munute mr munchkin man.... dont you know my name?... im famous all around these here parts for being kinda lame... hey why not we play a game of poker?.... i can try to get the fuhrer to join us... maybe then we can ask the dude about his funky moushtache and what not.... hey.... gandhi just farted... heh heh heh... last night i was playing twister with nefertitii and cleopatra when plato ran into the room screaming something about him spouting a tail or something and promptly laid himself on the ground and fell into a drunken stupor... the poor sod... bllimey guv'nor don't choo got some chimneys to sweep?....and what abewt the ungle who lewed in the jungle?... did he cem in yea loorry?... did he say soorry?... screw it... in the werds of a most great philoosepher, "life is a saang, saang it!"....
peacerespectempathy
it feels so good to hear a familiar voice from time to time... most folks are lucky to have their friends around them all the time but for someone who hasn't seen their real friends in a while, just hearing their voices feels so damn good.... it's wierd what deafness can do to you....
last thing i remember i was sitting on top of the purple mushroom sipping hot chocolate...... just moments before i had punched the pink gorilla for stealinmg my nuts... the bastard!... remember the kid who sat next to you in the third grade... well, he's a cross-dressing drag queen at a major broadway show... oh hell, im on the moon again....
my only escape from this loneliness is my reading and music... i just finished paolho coehlo's "eleven minutes".... it was awesome.... totally different for him.... and right now... i started "hammer of god" by arthur c clarke.... hmm....
i stole the chocolate pudding!... i stole jesus' thunder!... ha ha ha!... my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, damn right it's better than your's... my cock is bigger than your's... bwahahahaha!!!
i just realized something... its less than a month till i reach the US... what will this new chapter of my life hold for me?... will i fare better off than now or will things just get worse.... my intuition says things are going to get better but theres always murphy's law to help fuck up things....
wait a munute mr munchkin man.... dont you know my name?... im famous all around these here parts for being kinda lame... hey why not we play a game of poker?.... i can try to get the fuhrer to join us... maybe then we can ask the dude about his funky moushtache and what not.... hey.... gandhi just farted... heh heh heh... last night i was playing twister with nefertitii and cleopatra when plato ran into the room screaming something about him spouting a tail or something and promptly laid himself on the ground and fell into a drunken stupor... the poor sod... bllimey guv'nor don't choo got some chimneys to sweep?....and what abewt the ungle who lewed in the jungle?... did he cem in yea loorry?... did he say soorry?... screw it... in the werds of a most great philoosepher, "life is a saang, saang it!"....
peacerespectempathy
day-to-day frustration
sound : Atlantic City (Live) - Bruce Springsteen
AUTHOR'S NOTE: im too lazy to type out anothe a real post so i'll post the message i sent to aj....
AUTHOR'S NOTE: im too lazy to type out anothe a real post so i'll post the message i sent to aj....
its scary... i feel like i'm becoming one of those people who get talked to
their whole lives but cant speak back... you know?.... i feel like those
non-entities that everybody relies on when they can't cope with the
fullness of their lives but i still do feel messed... man.... you think i'm
happy just because i didnt post some rage filled, poison spewing jumble of
words... nope.... i just had a good day or two so to speak.... i miss
conversation.... i miss proper social interaction.... i feel so damn lonely out
here... kerala.... what's in it for me huh?.... i want to go and see akhil and
neetu but cant cos we have these so-called "relatives" to visit... some of them
i like, but most of them... sheesh, i aint talking about it.... and all this
formalities and functions for some guy named "Jeffin" getting married... and i
gotta go for all this shit.... i hate weddings... drives me insane... all the
fake conversations and the x-ray looks... everything about it... everybody is
waiting for you to fuck up... its incredible.... even going to church (its not
like i want to go, im forced to) out here is tough.... i mean, come on... how
would you feel if each and every head in the place turns to you as soon as you
step in... add to that the fact that i dont understand whats going on because
its in mallu....... plus the sermon takes ages... my way of coping is by walking
tall and staring back at people when they stare at me (gives me something to do
when im bored) and sleeping during the sermon.... why the hell do these people
have to be so god-damn curious?... cant they shove their overly oily noses back
wherever its supposed to be?.... church in chennai aint that bad... nobody
stares and i sleep during the sermons over there too... whatever, i alwaus tell
everybody that i dont want to go, so me sleeping in church is not my fault.... i
wish you were coming to india a bit earlier.... we leave on the 11th... from
chennai... i doubt ill be able to see you.... crap!... wanna hear something
sick?... papa plans to leave malluland only on the 6th... can you believe
that?... only four days in chennai!!!.... before the SATs i was basically under
house arrest and the day after my SATs got over we left for kerala... i hardly
spent any time with my friends.... now we'll have only four days and i doubt i
can go out even then.... we delay for so long because "Jeffin" is getting
married and he's supposed to be a relative... like i care.... and what kind of a
nutcase would name their kid "Jeffin"??.... crack-heads..... damn... im like an
old man... i start a rant and by the end of it im all worked up.... balls....
ill be calling akh/neet tomorrow (sunday)... couldnt earlier on cos i was on the
meet-the-relatives tour.... ciao ajna.... ill catch ya later... PRE - aviPS: i havent heard from arun in ages... i miss the pig...
6.07.2005
"Dear diary, Why do all the girls roll their eyes at me?"
sound : Death Letter - Son House
i wole up today morning, the echoes of strangeness still running through my mind from the freakishly wierd dream of the night before, in a new land... yes, my dear gendle-foolæs... i am in mallu land.... the land of lush green-ness, the land of coconut oil and walrus moushtaches.... yes, im back...
lots of going-ons oh yeah... did my SATs... that went well excepting for the wierd john lennon incident.... there wasw this girl who looked exactly like yoko ono sitting next to me.... after i noticed her i got this wierd ally mcbeal episode going.... john lennon was singing to me during the whole test...... imagine played endlessly.... there was also beautiful boy, give peace a chance and even cold turkey.... it was like haveing the lennon: legend cd playing in my head..... it was good though.... it cooled me down.....
i got my driving license.... yeah, its now perfectly legal for me to drive a light motor vehicle with four wheels and motor cycles with gears... the driving test was disappointing though.... the two wheeler test, what do i say?... i hadnt touched the bike since the great fall of the avinashian butt and when i go to the driving test place they tell me that im up for the test... i somehow managed to do a wobbly figure eight (if the tire would have left marks it should have looked something like a figure eight drawn by a 90 year old with parkinsons) and all that sans the hand signals... i cant ride properly with both hands and i should do hand signals... yeah right.... and the driving test.... it was sad.... i started the car and drove it like fifty meters when the guy says,"very good. next."... i didnt even get the chance to change gears... its like these people want me to crash and die after i get the license.....
we saw the "revenge of the sith" on the third day of international release... actually i was planning to see all the movies in order (i was a star wars virgin prior to episode III) but why should i pass off a chance to see it in RDX... frankly speaking... i liked it... the movie was good... now i gotta get my butt to seeing the rest of the movies... vimal (one of my friends) and i went and saw xXx 2.... astoundingg that samuel l jackson agreed to act in such a shit-piece... it was a frickin' tamil action movie on steroids.... in the local section i saw "Black"... believe it or not, i liked it.... awesome for a bollywood flick... there were a few mistakes though... just because you're blind, deaf and dumb doesnt mean you'd walk like how the girl does... i mean the cross between charlie chaplin and a penguin was a little bit too much.... then towards the end they had the big b making like an old man... frankly that shouldnt be all too tough for him, he's basically there.... well anyway... the wig was like a bad mop from the janitor's closet and him shaking his head made him look like one of those annoying dog things you see people putting in the back of their cars to make the car look "CUTE".... but i forgive them... a hindi movie coming this far.... two thumbs up!
the day before yesterday one of my friends from ooty, nihas, came down to chennai for the day... he called me and asked me to come to spencers to met him.... it was like a mini george's reunion.... nihas, luke, sampath, uday, vivian and i plus 3 of nihas' friends... asshole (his name is some complex sanskrit name starting with a.... i couldnt remember it so i named him asshole to make it easier on everybodies' tongues), vidhya and leha.... this girl vidhya is just like t (hey, i miss you kiddo!)... i even told her that and she was like "puh-lease" just like t!!.... she even has the same type of hair (which she doesnt like cos its really frizzy) and t's humungous, power-puff girl type emotive eyes.... she even gave me the look t gives me when i do something stupid when i sat on the floor.... i managed to make everyone sit on the floor though... and this really annoying security guard comes and throws us all out of his beat... we moved on and disturbed the peace in another wing.... we went around "jollu ollikifying" for a few hours talked about lots of shit... according to asshole, "you guys are all wierd... COOL!" and in the words of leha, "you all are like a bunch of old men reminiscising about school all the time"... basically we hung out... had lunch at the food court and got free coffees and pastries from kwiky's because luke works there..... it was good...
since i have internet at home in malluland i guess ill be online more often... yeah....
and aj... im not sleeping with the fishes...
peacerespectempathy
i wole up today morning, the echoes of strangeness still running through my mind from the freakishly wierd dream of the night before, in a new land... yes, my dear gendle-foolæs... i am in mallu land.... the land of lush green-ness, the land of coconut oil and walrus moushtaches.... yes, im back...
lots of going-ons oh yeah... did my SATs... that went well excepting for the wierd john lennon incident.... there wasw this girl who looked exactly like yoko ono sitting next to me.... after i noticed her i got this wierd ally mcbeal episode going.... john lennon was singing to me during the whole test...... imagine played endlessly.... there was also beautiful boy, give peace a chance and even cold turkey.... it was like haveing the lennon: legend cd playing in my head..... it was good though.... it cooled me down.....
i got my driving license.... yeah, its now perfectly legal for me to drive a light motor vehicle with four wheels and motor cycles with gears... the driving test was disappointing though.... the two wheeler test, what do i say?... i hadnt touched the bike since the great fall of the avinashian butt and when i go to the driving test place they tell me that im up for the test... i somehow managed to do a wobbly figure eight (if the tire would have left marks it should have looked something like a figure eight drawn by a 90 year old with parkinsons) and all that sans the hand signals... i cant ride properly with both hands and i should do hand signals... yeah right.... and the driving test.... it was sad.... i started the car and drove it like fifty meters when the guy says,"very good. next."... i didnt even get the chance to change gears... its like these people want me to crash and die after i get the license.....
we saw the "revenge of the sith" on the third day of international release... actually i was planning to see all the movies in order (i was a star wars virgin prior to episode III) but why should i pass off a chance to see it in RDX... frankly speaking... i liked it... the movie was good... now i gotta get my butt to seeing the rest of the movies... vimal (one of my friends) and i went and saw xXx 2.... astoundingg that samuel l jackson agreed to act in such a shit-piece... it was a frickin' tamil action movie on steroids.... in the local section i saw "Black"... believe it or not, i liked it.... awesome for a bollywood flick... there were a few mistakes though... just because you're blind, deaf and dumb doesnt mean you'd walk like how the girl does... i mean the cross between charlie chaplin and a penguin was a little bit too much.... then towards the end they had the big b making like an old man... frankly that shouldnt be all too tough for him, he's basically there.... well anyway... the wig was like a bad mop from the janitor's closet and him shaking his head made him look like one of those annoying dog things you see people putting in the back of their cars to make the car look "CUTE".... but i forgive them... a hindi movie coming this far.... two thumbs up!
the day before yesterday one of my friends from ooty, nihas, came down to chennai for the day... he called me and asked me to come to spencers to met him.... it was like a mini george's reunion.... nihas, luke, sampath, uday, vivian and i plus 3 of nihas' friends... asshole (his name is some complex sanskrit name starting with a.... i couldnt remember it so i named him asshole to make it easier on everybodies' tongues), vidhya and leha.... this girl vidhya is just like t (hey, i miss you kiddo!)... i even told her that and she was like "puh-lease" just like t!!.... she even has the same type of hair (which she doesnt like cos its really frizzy) and t's humungous, power-puff girl type emotive eyes.... she even gave me the look t gives me when i do something stupid when i sat on the floor.... i managed to make everyone sit on the floor though... and this really annoying security guard comes and throws us all out of his beat... we moved on and disturbed the peace in another wing.... we went around "jollu ollikifying" for a few hours talked about lots of shit... according to asshole, "you guys are all wierd... COOL!" and in the words of leha, "you all are like a bunch of old men reminiscising about school all the time"... basically we hung out... had lunch at the food court and got free coffees and pastries from kwiky's because luke works there..... it was good...
since i have internet at home in malluland i guess ill be online more often... yeah....
and aj... im not sleeping with the fishes...
peacerespectempathy
5.20.2005
temporary insanity
i remembered things which would make any sane man squirm.... i remembered moments that made time seem to stand still... i forgot of myself and my own... i am a non-entity... i believe that my fat is driving me insane... destiny?... NOT!....
i asked Frank (N. Stine) about how i could relish life and all its shitty flavors and he toild me to look at the stars.... orion's belt reminded me of a 3 eyed monkey looking down at me and laughing at my flaws... the bastard!....
later on i went and spoke to this little puppy that sits in my bathroom and helps out by swatting mosquitoes while you take a crap... well, B.W. Gush told me things that helped me through the strenous ordeal of pushing fecal matter out of my butt... i thanked him and went out into the world, ready for whatever may come to harm me.... when suddenly, appu the parrot swooped down on me and plucked out my left eyeball... i had to arm/wing wrestle him to get my eye back after which i cut him up and fed him to B. Dubya G. the lavatory puppy.... the G was really happy....
afterwards i had my lunch of stewed human testicles and ovaries with appams made in the fat of a hundred women.... lyposuction be my food giver... then i met up with David Bowie and he reiminded me of home and friends and family and shawarma after which i heard a philosophical discourse by Dylan in which heclaimed that "The Times They Are A-Changin'".... The truth of what he said struck me so hard that i fell down crying through my epileptic seizure of enlightenment....
"do you like green eggs and ham, sam i am?"....
the truth!... THE TRUTH!!!.... agonizing truth... agonizing pain.... monkey's balls....
oh well.... i took some painkillers, washem them down with some coke and had 68 cookies and laid myself back while i crept into a suger induced coma....
peacerespectempathy
i asked Frank (N. Stine) about how i could relish life and all its shitty flavors and he toild me to look at the stars.... orion's belt reminded me of a 3 eyed monkey looking down at me and laughing at my flaws... the bastard!....
later on i went and spoke to this little puppy that sits in my bathroom and helps out by swatting mosquitoes while you take a crap... well, B.W. Gush told me things that helped me through the strenous ordeal of pushing fecal matter out of my butt... i thanked him and went out into the world, ready for whatever may come to harm me.... when suddenly, appu the parrot swooped down on me and plucked out my left eyeball... i had to arm/wing wrestle him to get my eye back after which i cut him up and fed him to B. Dubya G. the lavatory puppy.... the G was really happy....
afterwards i had my lunch of stewed human testicles and ovaries with appams made in the fat of a hundred women.... lyposuction be my food giver... then i met up with David Bowie and he reiminded me of home and friends and family and shawarma after which i heard a philosophical discourse by Dylan in which heclaimed that "The Times They Are A-Changin'".... The truth of what he said struck me so hard that i fell down crying through my epileptic seizure of enlightenment....
"do you like green eggs and ham, sam i am?"....
the truth!... THE TRUTH!!!.... agonizing truth... agonizing pain.... monkey's balls....
oh well.... i took some painkillers, washem them down with some coke and had 68 cookies and laid myself back while i crept into a suger induced coma....
peacerespectempathy
"Bring Me The Disco King"
this song by David Bowie totally describes how i feel right now.... i wont say anymore....
peacerespectempathy
peacerespectempathy
5.19.2005
confessions of a lonely, homesick mind
when you're lonely, do you dream of acorns and apple sundaes?... do look back and see angels and little puppies?....
turn around, do you miss your hearts and organs?... do you feel like your head is underground?...
do you remember green eggs and ham?... do you remember shawarma and thamia?.... do you remember your true friends?....
well i do....
i do....
peacerespectempathy
turn around, do you miss your hearts and organs?... do you feel like your head is underground?...
do you remember green eggs and ham?... do you remember shawarma and thamia?.... do you remember your true friends?....
well i do....
i do....
peacerespectempathy
5.09.2005
auto-rickshaws are evil
sound : bleaaaah!
i totalled my grandfather's scooter a few days back.... yeah.... me, i'm no good driver.... no way jose.... i panic at the sight of those black and yellow beasts from the nether-worlds..... autorickshaws freak me out man.... i feel like they're there just to make me crash and die or something... it's safer in the car... you got metal on all four sides protecting you from these maniacs.... but ona two wheeler.... brrr... im getting shivers here....
i was at this junction driving like an old man,... i musta been goin at like 20 k per hour or something.... not more.... truly... i wait at this signal and i'm one pof the last to move... i guess this bastard wanted to go before the signal turned red or something... but he cuts me off real rough-like aand i go and crash into the center partition.... i managed to turn bit and i scrape to a stop.... my jeans were torn and my leg was bleeding like crazy.... this cop comes to me all worried and stuff (he was a nice guy) nd tells me to take an auto home.... i was like "no way!".... i somehow managed to ride the scooter home with a severely damaged steering....
the wierd thing is that iwasnt scared a bit..... i thought that all the loudmouthing ive done about me not being scared of death wasnt real... but the truth is that i wouldnt hve minded dieing just then.... just leave my face intact eh... heh heh heh.... yeah.... thats all for now... im outta time... ciao world...
i now sink back into my tar pit.....
i totalled my grandfather's scooter a few days back.... yeah.... me, i'm no good driver.... no way jose.... i panic at the sight of those black and yellow beasts from the nether-worlds..... autorickshaws freak me out man.... i feel like they're there just to make me crash and die or something... it's safer in the car... you got metal on all four sides protecting you from these maniacs.... but ona two wheeler.... brrr... im getting shivers here....
i was at this junction driving like an old man,... i musta been goin at like 20 k per hour or something.... not more.... truly... i wait at this signal and i'm one pof the last to move... i guess this bastard wanted to go before the signal turned red or something... but he cuts me off real rough-like aand i go and crash into the center partition.... i managed to turn bit and i scrape to a stop.... my jeans were torn and my leg was bleeding like crazy.... this cop comes to me all worried and stuff (he was a nice guy) nd tells me to take an auto home.... i was like "no way!".... i somehow managed to ride the scooter home with a severely damaged steering....
the wierd thing is that iwasnt scared a bit..... i thought that all the loudmouthing ive done about me not being scared of death wasnt real... but the truth is that i wouldnt hve minded dieing just then.... just leave my face intact eh... heh heh heh.... yeah.... thats all for now... im outta time... ciao world...
i now sink back into my tar pit.....
5.03.2005
Asia Electrik
sound : JENNY FROM THE BLOCK!!!!!... (thats whats playing in the cafe)
seriously ladies and germs.... its been a while... my chances of coming online are near zero.... thers no internet at home and no cafe anyplace nearby.... what a bummer.... oh well... theres lots to spew....
reached here a few days back... people were pleasantly surprised by the way i looked... even my grandfather didnt bitch or anything... personally.... i feel im just like him... hence my sudden liking towards the guy... plus the fact that he got me a discman!!!... thats a whole other story though.... on the first day he comes to me wih a photo.. it was an old black and white group photo of his brothers and his dad.... and believe it or not... i look exactly like him... glasses and all.....
amrith called me then... he was like "has avinash arrived yet?".... heh heh heh.... my reply to that was "AMU! BASTARD!".... well i went over to his place cos it was his birthday and stuff.... we went and had a nice ethnic dinner at "Murugan's Idli Shop"... seriously... for some reason the name drove me crazy.... the food was good though... we ate masala dosas and onion oothappams.... yummy.....
arjun came all the way from wherever he stays just to see me... ok im flattering myself there... but yeah... it was cool to see tanky.... we (that being tanky alias arjun, amu, net alias nethra (amu's girl) and i) went and watched hitch... blech... i didnt like it... i kept myself occupied by irritating tanky (o that brought back memories).... plus the popcorn sucked.... after that we went to bikes and barrels and had a beer... my first in 2 or 3 years.... the place was great... the music was good.... they played jimi hendrix and led zeppelin and rhcp and stuff.... it was good... we all had a good talk.... net was nice... mostly after i meet somebody's girl i'd be making fun of em... but this kid is good for amrith... or maybe its because im growing older?.... hmm.....
oh yeah... my granddad got me a discman.... a sony atrac-3 plus thingy... its nice.... i finally have music back in my life... oh yeah... theres VH1 too... VH1 is nice... they play only english songs and they play good old stuff... like i saw zeppelin's "whole lotta love" yeaterday... i saw stp's plush too... all good....
my uncle took me to an Asia Electrik show yesterday... actually it was the 170th guru pooja at their family temple but they had a show because sivamani is his first cousin..... hell yeah.... SIVAMANI IS MY UNCLE'S FIRST COUSIN!!!... asia electrik consist of sivaman doing percussion, louis banks on synthesiser and niladiri kumar on sitar.... man oh man... just think,..... sivamani, india's greatest drummer ever... louis banks, india's formost jazz-man and niladiri kumar... the greatest sitarist after shri ravishankar.... it was awesome.... sivamani would go on these occasional blitzkrieg rampages on his new yamaha drum kit where you'd actually feel your clothes and hair being blown back thanks to the immense bass thwumping out of those massive speakers.... louis banks... the dude may be old but the man oozes attitude.... he would play the synth like he were the king of the world... and niladiri... i mean WOW!!!... the guy stole the show.... he really enjoyed playing... we could tell because he was smiling the whole time.... and his fingers are fucking amazing... the man shone.... he was playing an electric sitar through a boss effects box... the sounds he mad out of those things... and the speed... the speed... at times he sounded like some master shredder going at ludicrous speed over the frets of his/her axe.... the mans hands moved like lightning.... he'd play like there was no tomorrow and still be smiling.... there was this vocalist too...on the first piece... her name was kalpana... a voice of mercury... smooth, beautiful and heavy with emotion..... the whole thing was awesome... after the last song sivamani invited his brother and two other up and coming drummers to come up and show their skills off... they were great... after that it was a free for all.... the next guy was astounding... looked like an ordinary person off the street... but the way he played.... louis banks was smilin (and for the first time), even sivamani couldnt resist joining in with him.... after that there were two more guys.... they were great too....
after the show... my cousin helped me get all of their autographs plus we (haran uncle, rohan, karthik, akshay and i) had our picture taken with the band.... it was awesome.... i guess getting to watch such talented musicians come only once in a lifetime huh?...
oh yeah.... i was talking to sivamani's brother after the photo and he asked me whether i played drums cos he claimed that i looked like a drummer... i told him that i played guitar and he was like "Cool!"...
oh yeah... i gonna get he video of the show from my uncle... now thats cool!....
arjun left to go home yesterday... thing is he needed to buy a guitar.... and he wanted me to come and help him chose..... well, we got a double holed, rose wood acoustic... its awesome... the ton is rich and clean and the feel of the whole thing is beautiful.... nice...
i still cant get the asia electrik show out of my head.... oh yeah... this wat their first show in their upcoming world tour... if anybody reading this has a chance of seeing them... go for it... you wont be disappointed....
trust me...
peacerespectempathy
seriously ladies and germs.... its been a while... my chances of coming online are near zero.... thers no internet at home and no cafe anyplace nearby.... what a bummer.... oh well... theres lots to spew....
reached here a few days back... people were pleasantly surprised by the way i looked... even my grandfather didnt bitch or anything... personally.... i feel im just like him... hence my sudden liking towards the guy... plus the fact that he got me a discman!!!... thats a whole other story though.... on the first day he comes to me wih a photo.. it was an old black and white group photo of his brothers and his dad.... and believe it or not... i look exactly like him... glasses and all.....
amrith called me then... he was like "has avinash arrived yet?".... heh heh heh.... my reply to that was "AMU! BASTARD!".... well i went over to his place cos it was his birthday and stuff.... we went and had a nice ethnic dinner at "Murugan's Idli Shop"... seriously... for some reason the name drove me crazy.... the food was good though... we ate masala dosas and onion oothappams.... yummy.....
arjun came all the way from wherever he stays just to see me... ok im flattering myself there... but yeah... it was cool to see tanky.... we (that being tanky alias arjun, amu, net alias nethra (amu's girl) and i) went and watched hitch... blech... i didnt like it... i kept myself occupied by irritating tanky (o that brought back memories).... plus the popcorn sucked.... after that we went to bikes and barrels and had a beer... my first in 2 or 3 years.... the place was great... the music was good.... they played jimi hendrix and led zeppelin and rhcp and stuff.... it was good... we all had a good talk.... net was nice... mostly after i meet somebody's girl i'd be making fun of em... but this kid is good for amrith... or maybe its because im growing older?.... hmm.....
oh yeah... my granddad got me a discman.... a sony atrac-3 plus thingy... its nice.... i finally have music back in my life... oh yeah... theres VH1 too... VH1 is nice... they play only english songs and they play good old stuff... like i saw zeppelin's "whole lotta love" yeaterday... i saw stp's plush too... all good....
my uncle took me to an Asia Electrik show yesterday... actually it was the 170th guru pooja at their family temple but they had a show because sivamani is his first cousin..... hell yeah.... SIVAMANI IS MY UNCLE'S FIRST COUSIN!!!... asia electrik consist of sivaman doing percussion, louis banks on synthesiser and niladiri kumar on sitar.... man oh man... just think,..... sivamani, india's greatest drummer ever... louis banks, india's formost jazz-man and niladiri kumar... the greatest sitarist after shri ravishankar.... it was awesome.... sivamani would go on these occasional blitzkrieg rampages on his new yamaha drum kit where you'd actually feel your clothes and hair being blown back thanks to the immense bass thwumping out of those massive speakers.... louis banks... the dude may be old but the man oozes attitude.... he would play the synth like he were the king of the world... and niladiri... i mean WOW!!!... the guy stole the show.... he really enjoyed playing... we could tell because he was smiling the whole time.... and his fingers are fucking amazing... the man shone.... he was playing an electric sitar through a boss effects box... the sounds he mad out of those things... and the speed... the speed... at times he sounded like some master shredder going at ludicrous speed over the frets of his/her axe.... the mans hands moved like lightning.... he'd play like there was no tomorrow and still be smiling.... there was this vocalist too...on the first piece... her name was kalpana... a voice of mercury... smooth, beautiful and heavy with emotion..... the whole thing was awesome... after the last song sivamani invited his brother and two other up and coming drummers to come up and show their skills off... they were great... after that it was a free for all.... the next guy was astounding... looked like an ordinary person off the street... but the way he played.... louis banks was smilin (and for the first time), even sivamani couldnt resist joining in with him.... after that there were two more guys.... they were great too....
after the show... my cousin helped me get all of their autographs plus we (haran uncle, rohan, karthik, akshay and i) had our picture taken with the band.... it was awesome.... i guess getting to watch such talented musicians come only once in a lifetime huh?...
oh yeah.... i was talking to sivamani's brother after the photo and he asked me whether i played drums cos he claimed that i looked like a drummer... i told him that i played guitar and he was like "Cool!"...
oh yeah... i gonna get he video of the show from my uncle... now thats cool!....
arjun left to go home yesterday... thing is he needed to buy a guitar.... and he wanted me to come and help him chose..... well, we got a double holed, rose wood acoustic... its awesome... the ton is rich and clean and the feel of the whole thing is beautiful.... nice...
i still cant get the asia electrik show out of my head.... oh yeah... this wat their first show in their upcoming world tour... if anybody reading this has a chance of seeing them... go for it... you wont be disappointed....
trust me...
peacerespectempathy
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