earlier this morning i sat back with a glass of mucus in one hand and some phlegm in the other... these meds are really driving me insane... my hands were shivering... i was so god damn hungry it felt like i could eat a horse... so i did.... i found out that the concoction of meds that i took were too much and my body was showing signs of shock... i was hypoglycemic and hungry as hell... and most of the time i was stoned as hell as well... now that rhymes... cool....
"its a known fact.. you never believe a word of what i say... its just the waynext thing i knew i was flying with the unicorns up on planet za-za... after doing a few dives i found out that my wings were tearing thanks to the weight of my "koomba"... after getting down on the ground i went rock climbing with my buddy the gecko..... now geck and i were arguing about who had the greatest butt on earth and he kept telling me its j-lo... finally i was so sick of his jenny-philia that i had to tell him the truth..."jennifer lopez doesn't have an ass... its a friggin' coffee table for christ's sake!"... he got mad and tried to bitch-slap me... we started wrestling right there on the face of the cliff where i started to pull off a few classy moves... next thing i knew a bolt of lightning struck the sheer face of the cliff about 6 feet away from us and a voice unlike any other shouted down upon us in furious anger, "YOU FOOLS! WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING?" and i screamed back, "COS HE TRIED TO BITCH-SLAP ME FOR SAYING THAT J-LO'S BUTT LOOKS LIKE A COFFEE TABLE" and then the voice took a few seconds to understand the full weight of what i had said....
things are... but if you are to believe that you must not believe me, do you
believe when i say you shouldn't?... in that case you should believe... and now
that i told you to believe, do you believe that and not believe me when i ask
you to believe?... and incase you do believe and it aint true, dont blame me cos
i warned you...."
[fifteen years later]
"HA HA HA! YOU ARE A FUNNY MAN, YOUR JOKE IS GOOD!" and i replied to the voice "BUT DUDE, YOU ARE A LITTLE LATE... LOOK AT US.. ITS BEEN FIFTEEN YEARS SINCE I TOLD YOU THE JOKE AND WE'VE BEEN STUCK ON THE FUCKIN' CLIFF FOR SOO DAMN LONG... TUBELIGHT!... BRAIN OF FLEA... FRICKIN' SLOW-POKE RETARD!"
"SILENCE MORTAL! HOW DARE YOU INVOKE THE WRATH OF ****?.... FOR THAT YOU MUST SUFFER A MOST HORRIBLE DEATH!"... as soon as this was said a bolt of lightning (brighter and more powerful than any bolt of lightning thrown down by zeus) promptly struck geck and he fell down the cliff... he suffered no pain for he died upon impact 35000 feet below....
"OOPS!"
"DUMBASS!.. YOU KILLED THE WRONG DUDE....FOR THAT YOU MUST PERFORM AN APOLOGY RITUAL IN THE NAME OF THE GECKO..."
a few seconds later there was this sound like the grumbling of a million hungry stomachs and the sheer cliff-face beside started growing outwards until it looked like a platform that could easily accomodate a million people... then there was another sound.... it was pure evil i tell you.... i looked up to the heavens and saw a blur of red, black and white zooming down towards me... in mortal fear i instinctively curled myself into a foetal position and i waited for the meteor to hit me....
i waited....
and i waited...
and i waited....
and i waited.....
but it didnt... instead when i looked up i saw jack and meg standing there smiling down at me... meg was barefooted (like she always is while playing her kit) and jack had his creepy moushtache....
then jack said, "in memory of the gecko we shall play our new track "Blue Orchid"... and because my buddy **** told us to" and he looked up at the sky and winked.....
after this jack picked up his guitar and meg sat behind her candy cane drums and belted out the track... it was soo good and soo different that at the end of it i laid myself down on the ground and died a most peaceful death....
peacerespectempathy
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