"Can Superman carry Lois Lane's baby?"

i saw this at the UG forum... it seemed so very screwed up that i had to quote it out here...

this was said by somebody named JHND4588 from Honolulu Hawai'i.......

and what was he/she thinking when he typed out the title?....

"Well I saw the movie Mallrats and it got me thinking "Can Lois Lane be the carrier of Superman's baby?" He's an alien. The only way he can do her is with a Kryptonite condum, but that might kill him. Not if he uses the red kryptonite, but that's a whole different story. By the time his sperm goes through her body it might feel like a bullet being shot in her. Even if she does carry his baby the baby can kick right through her if she gets a tan cause of our yellow sun. Only Wonder Woman has a womb that strong. Then I thougt of other superheros like spider-man. His whole physical body is made into a a human-spider. He can make little spider babies with Mary-Jane. His sperm might look like web shooting in her. Batman's lucky cause he's a human."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AKHIL!

moan # 5427

sound : Instinct Blues - The White Stripes

i wish i could go to pizza hut for the "all-you-can-eat" offer with my friends just one more time....

just one more time.....

please......

peacerespectempathy

www.vaccaro.ca

sound : light years - aldo vaccaro

anybody who loves music and doesn't check this stuff out is one A class SOB... seriously... this guy makes steve vai look like a baby.... check him out... aldo vaccaro is god.....

Aldo Vaccaro

peacerespectempathy

"Damn boy!... You got the prettiest eyes!"

sound : Who Are You - The Who

"a flower and a brillo please..."

"gimme a rose and a chore-boy.... thanks man...."

"umm... do you... like.. sell the rose-flower thing and the ... umm... brillo?..."

"hey there... the usual please...."

its funny how everything has changed... i feel totally at ease selling paraphernalia that boosts decadance... i sell lottery tickets and lotto numbers... i sell everything that is considered evil.... yes ladies and germs... i work in thomas uncle's store now... just so that i can learn the ropes.....

the shops located in a real tough neighbourhood on nebraska street... real tough... drug peddlers and crack whores galore... plus all the junkies you can even dream of... you get to meet everyone... the serious faced stoners... the happy crack-heads... the trash-talking trailer trash couple.... the hardcore bikers and possibly every other type of person imaginable....

remember in one of the previous posts i asked why i never met the interesting people... well, wish granted.... a huge (and i mean huge... she/he/it must be over 6 feet tall) black transvestite tells me, and i quote, "Damn boy!... You got the prettiest eyes!".... i was like... "thanks.... i think..."... and yesterday, this crack whore who just got out of the local pen in the morning tells me that i'm sexy... i guess she thought i had some cash on me...

there's this church across the road from the shop... a baptist church... so once in a whiule you get to see the "praise the lord" type of people.... one lady from the church comes and asks me what i use on my hair because she thought it looked real nice.... she said it looked like i just walked out of a salon.... this was at 5 in the evening... i had combed my hair at 7 in the morning before leaving for work... so people in india, "Set Wet" really works.... "very, very sexy"... heh heh heh....

there's this thing that we sell... its called a "rose"... it's a little plastic rose inside a small glass tube.... everybody knows that people who buy the rose remove the little flower and use the glass tube to snort coke.... then there's the usual things... the ball point pen used in the same way... all you gotta do is remove the refill and use it.... plus there's the brillo... a copper dish cleaning scrubber.... the junkies burn the coke and the scrubber and snort the stuff through the tube.... onto the next thing.... the phillies.... cigars.... cheap cigars... just 60 cents each.... they buy the phillies and remove the tobacco and roll them into joints.... yeah.... i'm working in heaven.... heh heh heh....

the day before yesterday this man came up and bought lottery tickets for US$ 225..... the poor bastard... he must have spent almost all his weekly earnings on the lottery....

about the place where we live... i really like it... after living in a big crouded city my whole life, this quite suburbian type of lifestyle really appeals to me... the only problems is that getting from A to B is a pain in the ass... everything is so far away.... for example, i'd have to get a car no matter what.... because getting to college would be near impossible for me otherwise.... the closest bus-stop is 2 miles away and then i'd have to travel for about a half hour to get to the nearest college from here.....

finally, i'm in a place where i feel thin... most people here are fatter than me so i dont feel all bloated up... heh heh heh....

we're still crashing in with thomas uncle because our flat isnt ready yet... they're like doing all the maintenance and repairs so it might take another 2 or 3 days.....

i went to church today.... the little kid sitting infront of me had a toy grenade in his pocket.... i couldn't help but smile everytime he pulled it out and made like he was throwing it at something....

florida's good... but like i told hammsa yesterday, there's something about jeddah that i miss.... i dunno what it is.... when i was there i hated the place but now i miss it... what is wrong with me?.... its just something... something makes me feel -

INCOMPLETE! [drops down to his knees and clutches his chest with his left hand while grotesquely twisting his face into a mask of extreme pain like his balls are being squeezed, then a wind comes up and blows leaves all about and he grabs a handfull of sand and throws it into the air, which inturn falls promptly into his eyes...]

heh heh heh....minto looks like a backstreet boy.... he looks like that kevin guy.... heh heh heh.... i cant stop making fun of him about that.... he's even got the beard.... heh heh heh....

so goodbye my dear munchkins... we shall meet at another time... the same place, another time and another circumstance.... ta ta.....

peacerespectempathy

PS: minto, akshay and i are gonna go and watch batman returns today.... we got free tickets!... bwa ha ha ha suckers!....

i own adnan sami's left hand

sound : neet's lesbo gang song from akhil's blog is playing in my head.... HALP!!

help me! help me mr munchkin man... im at thomas uncles house in florida... help me me munchkin man... i have so much to type and so less time... mr munchkin man, please make my fingers and my mind go faster... please?....

yes, dear gendle fools... i have finally reached the US of A.... im in tampa right now... at thomas uncle's place.... its actually real nice here... all green and stuff.... yeah....

leaving chennai was kinda tough....everybody was all weepy and stuff... sruthi wouldnt look at me cos she was teary eyed... poor kid.... everybody was there....

the flights were good... chennai to paris... delta airways, they played some tamil movie... balls... it was a lame rocky rip-off......

thank you mr munchkin man... thank you....

we had a stop over at paris for like 4 hours... it was ok... everything was kinda disorderly cos there was a strike on that day.... so yeah... i saw the eifel tower again... only thing was that from the plane it looked like i could squish it between my thumb and index finger.....

then i closed my eyes and stomped through paris like godzilla... yes i was huge... nothing could stop me.... NOTHING!!!!

paris to NY.... looong flight.... got over real fast cos i slept through it... there were 3 movies that played on that flight... i watched only one... i fell asleep all through the rest.... i watched robots.... it was ok... plkus the music by the blue man group was a cool touch.... i missed "hitch" (thank god-dude...) and "guess who" (CRAP! FUCK! &%$&^%#&^%#&^$#^%$# ).... then we had a short while at the JFK airport, which i didnt like all too much because i had to walk for miles with my guitar, mama's electric veena and a strolley that lacked a wheel......

the wheel said thus after escaping from the evil clutches of the strolley, "FREEEEEE!!!!"

from JFK to tampa we flew on song airways... i really liked song... the atmosphere was super friendly and the inflight entertainment was uber cool..... they let us vote on what type of safety recording we wanted.... nobody chose the new age version with its almost orgasmic female voice and annoying background sounds...... a few people chose flamenco.... and my personal favorite was played... the salsa safety dance... this stewardess even did all the actions while dancing with the background salsa over which this mexican voice told the instructions and asked every one to move their booties....

and the inflight entertainment was cool... they had satellite tv from dish tv.... small games and most importantly mp3 quality music.... they had a good collection of cds of which you could listen to or make playlists from and listen to.....i listened to john lennon's "acoustic", bruce springsteen's "devils and dust" and u2's "how to dismantle an atom bomb".... plus a lotof other stuff... later on i watched howard stern on E!.....

jenna haze has great pom-poms... wonder why they blurred them?....

we reached tampa at midnight (aroundish)... thomas uncle minto and mercy aunty were there to pick us up.... we are at their place for the next few days till the apartment we took is all fixed up... we applied for social security today and checked out a cool school for akshay...

it's been a long day.... my body is all messed up...my eyes tell me it's daytime... my body tells me its midnight... my mind tells me that i miss everyone... and my inner mutt (more on him later) tells me to go to sleep....

i called up almost everyone before leaving.... ajnu, akhil and neet, amu, steffi, dee, sibi, rakesh, nileena (i didnt get to meet her... shit!), vimal, uday, tanky..... yeah... i couldnt get saritha and leju.... and to all those i didnt call... take this as a honorary phone call....

to all my friends; a huge bear-hug.... avi style

PS: oh yeah... one more thing... i sprained my left hand the day before leaving chennai.... i stuck it into a moving ceiling fan... heh heh heh... i was playing dumb charades with my cousins, christy and thommen when my team won a point... i got all excited and pumped my fist into the air screaming "YES!" which instantly turned into an "OH CRAP! SHIT!".... the blade hit me on the back of my hand between my thumb and forefinger.... it swelled up to double its size... i had to take an x-ray and everything....

how many of you ppl can say that you've stopped a ceiling fan with your bare hands???... i can....

peacerespectempathy

the pigs flew over the moon...

sound : Larks' Tongues in Aspic, Part One - King Crimson

last night the moon fell into my backyard.... i aproached it and we had a small conversation.... we talked of this and that, of monkeys and unicorns, of flying pigs and money, of poisons and nectar, of god-dude and men, of many things that would make this list seem unending...

to make a tall tale short, she was stuck... the moon didnt know how to goback into orbit... then when i asked her the time she said it was almost midnght and i thought to myself "aah yes, the 4th of july... let me be one of the first ppl to send neet a card..." so i go online and i noticed that the date shown was the 5th of july.. i thought my pc was wrong so i checked my watch... damn! it was showing the same... as a last resort i asked the moon what the dat was.... shee too said that it was the 5th... that's when i realized that i had missed neet's birthday because i had the date all muddled up... what i thought was the 4th of july was actually the 5th... as a result of mu dumb-foundedness i had spen the whole of the 4th of july (which i thought was the third) reminding myself of neet's birthday...

as a last measure i posted an entry wishin her... i'm sorry kiddo... i'm a bum...

after that the moon and i resumed our conversation and we got to the mini jeddah reunion we had here in chirakadavu... it was good... joji aunty and aj was there... tankachen uncle, sus aunty and jaimie were there.... alex uncle, pearlcy aunty, joel and noel were there... unni uncle and kalyani aunty were there... robin uncle and binu aunty were there... geetha aunty and kenny were there... ousapachen uncle, ancy aunty, anu and vinu were there... then here was baby & molly and meenu & joe... also mathew and nyle... yeah, loads of people i hadnt seen in a long time...

another thing... how come so many girls that i know have had their stints with modeling/acting?... nileena modelled, this girl meenu was a miss kerala contestant (she got the miss beautiful skin award) and a model,surya did this modelling thingy too and this girl in my batch from ooty, roma.. she's in a telugu movie... she even got good reviews it seems... and look at me... i look like a bum.... hmm...

as i said all this the moon told me about how she felt inferior to venus... she said that even though she was larger and much more beautiful to the naked eye it was venus who became the symbol of feminity and virginal beauty... and i told the moon that it's always like that... the others always has it better than you... no matter what... the grass is always greener on the other side... as the hole weight of our conversation set in, the moon and i sat back on our bamboo lounge chairs and sipped our chiantes and ate some nice liver a la fava beans...

it was nice to talk face to face with aj after such a long time... she and joji aunty spent the night over here and we talked for a while and stuff... nice...
we (that being the moon and i) watched bits and pieces of Live 8... of what i saw (i missed the audioslave set... ) the show was real good... i couldn't watch the whole thing live because that was the day everybody came over but VH1 showed the whole thing as a rerun the next day (sunday)... so the oon and i sat and watched as much as possible... imagine... it started at 12 noon and ended at 10:30 PM!!.... one thing's for sure though... of all the artists that i saw... it was the older artists that really shone... u2, the who, sting, paul mccartney, velvet revolver pink floyd... PINK FLOYD!!... THE PIGS FLEW BABY!!! oh yeah... robbie williams did a good job in engaging the crowd... he performed well...

the opening song "sgt pepper's lonely hearts club" by u2 and paul mccartney was awesome!... the u2 set was great... the who were awesome... "who are you?..."... pete townsend was king.... his guitaring was just magnificent...the highlight of the sting set (for me atleast) was josh freese's (APC) drumming... and his voice was heavenly... "every breath you take" was a highlight with the altered lyrics and all... the velvet revolver set was great although there were only 2 songs ("fall to pieces" & "slither") but the ending was cool when scot weiland pulled out his signature megaphone and let the siren wail out in the ending of slither.... the closing by paul mccartney was just beautiful... "drive my car" was awesome... but it was the ending that made me smile... "hey jude"... the ending "naa na na na-na-na-naa..." bit with everyone on stage and the whoole crowd singing along was perfect... and pink floyd... pink floyd was perfect... i cant say anything more... just fucking perfect... they opened out their set with "breathe" followed by "comfortable numb"... david gilmour's solo here was nothing short of heavenly... then came the beautiful "money" and they ended their set woth "wish you were here" which waters announced was a tribute to the late syd barret.....

the moon and i watched the whole thing in total concentration and after the set she turned to me and said, "The pigs have flown!"

yes, the pigs HAVE flown...

peacerespectempathy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEET!!

beaconesque

sound :My Generation - The Who

i can't sleep... there's too much running through my head....

everyone i know is so far away...

arun is in canada, ajnu is in malluland or now but she's leaving for canada too, tina is in mumbai, akhil and neetu are in cochin and me... im gonna be going to the US in exactly 10 days....

the others.... suren and surya are in singapore, jude is in scotland, amrith, vimal, sibi and joseph are in chennai, deepak and adang are in bangalore....

i wish i could bring them all back and hold them all in palm of my hands... everybody is so far away...

i wish i could rewind back to the times that i lived life to the fullest....

i wish i could rewind back to last christmas atleast for a little while so that i can be truly happy again...

peacerespectempathy

----

sound : Baba O'Riley - The Who

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: i know this is kinda lame but it just formed while i was typing and i thought to myself "why not?"]

he wakes up with a splitting headache.... it feels like he has a jack-hammer held against the back of his head... he tries to look at the naked bulb hanging overhead... it's no use... everything's still too blurry...

he rubs his eyes and tries to look out of the window... all he sees is the empty street with garbage piled up on both side... beside him on the night-stand lie the tell-tale signs of human decadance... an empty bottle, an open pack of condoms, a few cigarette butts and a syringe...

pure white pain.... pain behind the eyes... stabbing pain...

he shuts his eyes again and presses his thumbs into his eyes to deaden the pain...

there's a smell... a sickly, sweet smell... the smell of blood.... he panics but he does not open his eyes... what happened?... he tries to think of what happened last night... no, the memories are vague... he sees bits and pieces...

car... club... girl... dancing... drinks... the drive to the motel...

GIRL!!

he opens his eyes and sees the girl... bloody... a thousand cuts on her face.... her hair matted with dry blood... her eyelids cut off, she stares up at the ceiling... he looks down on the floor... a bloody knife...

"oh god... not again..."

he gets off the bed, kneels down and starts to pray...

peacerespectempathy

"He had a lot to say... He had a lot of nothing to say..."

sound : Take, Take, Take - The White Stripes

today morning, i met maynard in church... he was there in the choir with judith singing "Eulogy"... i asked him what he was doing in church and he just said that he was trying something new.... i left the church in a state of confusion only to witness a boy being crushed under an ant... the poor bastard...

i met jochu today (well he aint jochu... he calls himself joel or jojo now) anyways, hes a good kid... spoke to him for a while and stuff... he aint the same round little kid that always asked for "molachis" anymore... sheesh... why do we have to age?....

i went to a store to get myself some rat poison and guess who was there?... NOBODY!!!

i got a call from saritha today... she seems happy... spoke for a while and stuff... yeah... it felt nice to know that people haven't forgotten me yet... aj must be in malluland now... why hasn't she called... i dont have her number... papa seems to have misplaced it... aj, if you're reading this CALL ME!!!!.....

had dinner with a monkey.... he claimed that he was adolf hitler reincarnated in animal form... i told him to shove off and i ate his french fries....

went over to sus aunty's place yesterday and met tkchen uncle, sus aunty and jaimie.... spoke for a while and stuff... saw a few recent photos... it felt good...

"I saw Rita Heyward there
And it was all that I needed!"

i wish i were on the moon... maybe then i'd understand everything.... everything... why do i even bother?...

peacerespectempathy

"I never get to see the big adam's apples, the two headed people, the male lesbians, the pretty transvestites and god-dude(tte)s..."

sound :Be Yourself - Audioslave

The tidal wave of memories that flowed through my head after i left neet and akhil's place was kinda overwhelming... it was good there... i was genuinely happy.... now that's rare... we goofed around... took pics and stuff.... yeah... it was good...

oh yeah... another thing...i heard it through the grapewine (actually from akhil) that the dj guy has a freakishly large adam's apple... why the hell dont i ever get to meet these interesting folks... i never get to see the big adam's apples, the two headed people, the male lesbians, the pretty transvestites and god-dude(tte)s... im stuck with plain old everyday folks with miniscule (or in my case) or nonexistant adam's apples... right now i want to make fun of somebody... where's a freak (other than yourself) when you need one?...

meeting neet and akhil brought back memories from the past 3 yrs... but we met robin uncle and family yesterday... meeting akash was seriously disturbing since i hadnt met the kid in 10 years.... the guy has a frickin moustache!!!... in my head akash is the little chubby kid and not the tall, thin kid with a moustach... but it was good...robin uncle is still funny as hell, binu aunty hasn't changed a bit... akash is the same old quiet person as always and kashmira, well i cant say much cos i saw the kid last when she was less than a year old... nice kid though... bubbly... always a good thing to be for an 11 yr old... they had this doberman pup... just 45 days old... the little fellow was real cool....

the memories that rushed through my head after that visit was totally different... it was of another era.... going to south corniche every weekend... all the older folks wind surfing... the barbecues... it felt like a movie.... it felt like someone elses momories because i doubt i can everrr be that happy again... yes i was better off last christmas but nothing can beat the sheer bliss of childish ignorance...

i miss my guitar... i left it back in chennai... now i'll have to go for 10 days without playing my guitar.... i miss my guitar.... my fingers ache to play a tune... oh well....

i cant stop listening to "Be Yourself" (Audioslave) and "Old School Hollywood" (System Of A Down) and the whole of "Get Behind Me Satan" by The White Stripes.... "Get Behind Me Satan" is a pure work of genius.... good music....

thanks akhil "cos that was all that I needed."

oh yeah.... one more thing.... neet showed me her facial boob.... it was wierd...
peacerespectempathy

"Get Behind Me ****... Yeah Baby! YEAH!"

sound :Death Letter - The White Stripes

earlier this morning i sat back with a glass of mucus in one hand and some phlegm in the other... these meds are really driving me insane... my hands were shivering... i was so god damn hungry it felt like i could eat a horse... so i did.... i found out that the concoction of meds that i took were too much and my body was showing signs of shock... i was hypoglycemic and hungry as hell... and most of the time i was stoned as hell as well... now that rhymes... cool....

"its a known fact.. you never believe a word of what i say... its just the way
things are... but if you are to believe that you must not believe me, do you
believe when i say you shouldn't?... in that case you should believe... and now
that i told you to believe, do you believe that and not believe me when i ask
you to believe?... and incase you do believe and it aint true, dont blame me cos
i warned you...."

next thing i knew i was flying with the unicorns up on planet za-za... after doing a few dives i found out that my wings were tearing thanks to the weight of my "koomba"... after getting down on the ground i went rock climbing with my buddy the gecko..... now geck and i were arguing about who had the greatest butt on earth and he kept telling me its j-lo... finally i was so sick of his jenny-philia that i had to tell him the truth..."jennifer lopez doesn't have an ass... its a friggin' coffee table for christ's sake!"... he got mad and tried to bitch-slap me... we started wrestling right there on the face of the cliff where i started to pull off a few classy moves... next thing i knew a bolt of lightning struck the sheer face of the cliff about 6 feet away from us and a voice unlike any other shouted down upon us in furious anger, "YOU FOOLS! WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING?" and i screamed back, "COS HE TRIED TO BITCH-SLAP ME FOR SAYING THAT J-LO'S BUTT LOOKS LIKE A COFFEE TABLE" and then the voice took a few seconds to understand the full weight of what i had said....

[fifteen years later]

"HA HA HA! YOU ARE A FUNNY MAN, YOUR JOKE IS GOOD!" and i replied to the voice "BUT DUDE, YOU ARE A LITTLE LATE... LOOK AT US.. ITS BEEN FIFTEEN YEARS SINCE I TOLD YOU THE JOKE AND WE'VE BEEN STUCK ON THE FUCKIN' CLIFF FOR SOO DAMN LONG... TUBELIGHT!... BRAIN OF FLEA... FRICKIN' SLOW-POKE RETARD!"

"SILENCE MORTAL! HOW DARE YOU INVOKE THE WRATH OF ****?.... FOR THAT YOU MUST SUFFER A MOST HORRIBLE DEATH!"... as soon as this was said a bolt of lightning (brighter and more powerful than any bolt of lightning thrown down by zeus) promptly struck geck and he fell down the cliff... he suffered no pain for he died upon impact 35000 feet below....

"OOPS!"

"DUMBASS!.. YOU KILLED THE WRONG DUDE....FOR THAT YOU MUST PERFORM AN APOLOGY RITUAL IN THE NAME OF THE GECKO..."

a few seconds later there was this sound like the grumbling of a million hungry stomachs and the sheer cliff-face beside started growing outwards until it looked like a platform that could easily accomodate a million people... then there was another sound.... it was pure evil i tell you.... i looked up to the heavens and saw a blur of red, black and white zooming down towards me... in mortal fear i instinctively curled myself into a foetal position and i waited for the meteor to hit me....

i waited....

and i waited...

and i waited....

and i waited.....

but it didnt... instead when i looked up i saw jack and meg standing there smiling down at me... meg was barefooted (like she always is while playing her kit) and jack had his creepy moushtache....

then jack said, "in memory of the gecko we shall play our new track "Blue Orchid"... and because my buddy **** told us to" and he looked up at the sky and winked.....

after this jack picked up his guitar and meg sat behind her candy cane drums and belted out the track... it was soo good and soo different that at the end of it i laid myself down on the ground and died a most peaceful death....

peacerespectempathy

normal/freak

sound : Ball and Buscuit - The White Stripes

it feels so good to hear a familiar voice from time to time... most folks are lucky to have their friends around them all the time but for someone who hasn't seen their real friends in a while, just hearing their voices feels so damn good.... it's wierd what deafness can do to you....

last thing i remember i was sitting on top of the purple mushroom sipping hot chocolate...... just moments before i had punched the pink gorilla for stealinmg my nuts... the bastard!... remember the kid who sat next to you in the third grade... well, he's a cross-dressing drag queen at a major broadway show... oh hell, im on the moon again....

my only escape from this loneliness is my reading and music... i just finished paolho coehlo's "eleven minutes".... it was awesome.... totally different for him.... and right now... i started "hammer of god" by arthur c clarke.... hmm....

i stole the chocolate pudding!... i stole jesus' thunder!... ha ha ha!... my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, damn right it's better than your's... my cock is bigger than your's... bwahahahaha!!!

i just realized something... its less than a month till i reach the US... what will this new chapter of my life hold for me?... will i fare better off than now or will things just get worse.... my intuition says things are going to get better but theres always murphy's law to help fuck up things....

wait a munute mr munchkin man.... dont you know my name?... im famous all around these here parts for being kinda lame... hey why not we play a game of poker?.... i can try to get the fuhrer to join us... maybe then we can ask the dude about his funky moushtache and what not.... hey.... gandhi just farted... heh heh heh... last night i was playing twister with nefertitii and cleopatra when plato ran into the room screaming something about him spouting a tail or something and promptly laid himself on the ground and fell into a drunken stupor... the poor sod... bllimey guv'nor don't choo got some chimneys to sweep?....and what abewt the ungle who lewed in the jungle?... did he cem in yea loorry?... did he say soorry?... screw it... in the werds of a most great philoosepher, "life is a saang, saang it!"....

peacerespectempathy

day-to-day frustration

sound : Atlantic City (Live) - Bruce Springsteen

AUTHOR'S NOTE: im too lazy to type out anothe a real post so i'll post the message i sent to aj....

its scary... i feel like i'm becoming one of those people who get talked to
their whole lives but cant speak back... you know?.... i feel like those
non-entities that everybody relies on when they can't cope with the
fullness of their lives but i still do feel messed... man.... you think i'm
happy just because i didnt post some rage filled, poison spewing jumble of
words... nope.... i just had a good day or two so to speak.... i miss
conversation.... i miss proper social interaction.... i feel so damn lonely out
here... kerala.... what's in it for me huh?.... i want to go and see akhil and
neetu but cant cos we have these so-called "relatives" to visit... some of them
i like, but most of them... sheesh, i aint talking about it.... and all this
formalities and functions for some guy named "Jeffin" getting married... and i
gotta go for all this shit.... i hate weddings... drives me insane... all the
fake conversations and the x-ray looks... everything about it... everybody is
waiting for you to fuck up... its incredible.... even going to church (its not
like i want to go, im forced to) out here is tough.... i mean, come on... how
would you feel if each and every head in the place turns to you as soon as you
step in... add to that the fact that i dont understand whats going on because
its in mallu....... plus the sermon takes ages... my way of coping is by walking
tall and staring back at people when they stare at me (gives me something to do
when im bored) and sleeping during the sermon.... why the hell do these people
have to be so god-damn curious?... cant they shove their overly oily noses back
wherever its supposed to be?.... church in chennai aint that bad... nobody
stares and i sleep during the sermons over there too... whatever, i alwaus tell
everybody that i dont want to go, so me sleeping in church is not my fault.... i
wish you were coming to india a bit earlier.... we leave on the 11th... from
chennai... i doubt ill be able to see you.... crap!... wanna hear something
sick?... papa plans to leave malluland only on the 6th... can you believe
that?... only four days in chennai!!!.... before the SATs i was basically under
house arrest and the day after my SATs got over we left for kerala... i hardly
spent any time with my friends.... now we'll have only four days and i doubt i
can go out even then.... we delay for so long because "Jeffin" is getting
married and he's supposed to be a relative... like i care.... and what kind of a
nutcase would name their kid "Jeffin"??.... crack-heads..... damn... im like an
old man... i start a rant and by the end of it im all worked up.... balls....
ill be calling akh/neet tomorrow (sunday)... couldnt earlier on cos i was on the
meet-the-relatives tour.... ciao ajna.... ill catch ya later... PRE - avi

PS: i havent heard from arun in ages... i miss the pig...

"Dear diary, Why do all the girls roll their eyes at me?"

sound : Death Letter - Son House

i wole up today morning, the echoes of strangeness still running through my mind from the freakishly wierd dream of the night before, in a new land... yes, my dear gendle-foolæs... i am in mallu land.... the land of lush green-ness, the land of coconut oil and walrus moushtaches.... yes, im back...

lots of going-ons oh yeah... did my SATs... that went well excepting for the wierd john lennon incident.... there wasw this girl who looked exactly like yoko ono sitting next to me.... after i noticed her i got this wierd ally mcbeal episode going.... john lennon was singing to me during the whole test...... imagine played endlessly.... there was also beautiful boy, give peace a chance and even cold turkey.... it was like haveing the lennon: legend cd playing in my head..... it was good though.... it cooled me down.....

i got my driving license.... yeah, its now perfectly legal for me to drive a light motor vehicle with four wheels and motor cycles with gears... the driving test was disappointing though.... the two wheeler test, what do i say?... i hadnt touched the bike since the great fall of the avinashian butt and when i go to the driving test place they tell me that im up for the test... i somehow managed to do a wobbly figure eight (if the tire would have left marks it should have looked something like a figure eight drawn by a 90 year old with parkinsons) and all that sans the hand signals... i cant ride properly with both hands and i should do hand signals... yeah right.... and the driving test.... it was sad.... i started the car and drove it like fifty meters when the guy says,"very good. next."... i didnt even get the chance to change gears... its like these people want me to crash and die after i get the license.....

we saw the "revenge of the sith" on the third day of international release... actually i was planning to see all the movies in order (i was a star wars virgin prior to episode III) but why should i pass off a chance to see it in RDX... frankly speaking... i liked it... the movie was good... now i gotta get my butt to seeing the rest of the movies... vimal (one of my friends) and i went and saw xXx 2.... astoundingg that samuel l jackson agreed to act in such a shit-piece... it was a frickin' tamil action movie on steroids.... in the local section i saw "Black"... believe it or not, i liked it.... awesome for a bollywood flick... there were a few mistakes though... just because you're blind, deaf and dumb doesnt mean you'd walk like how the girl does... i mean the cross between charlie chaplin and a penguin was a little bit too much.... then towards the end they had the big b making like an old man... frankly that shouldnt be all too tough for him, he's basically there.... well anyway... the wig was like a bad mop from the janitor's closet and him shaking his head made him look like one of those annoying dog things you see people putting in the back of their cars to make the car look "CUTE".... but i forgive them... a hindi movie coming this far.... two thumbs up!
the day before yesterday one of my friends from ooty, nihas, came down to chennai for the day... he called me and asked me to come to spencers to met him.... it was like a mini george's reunion.... nihas, luke, sampath, uday, vivian and i plus 3 of nihas' friends... asshole (his name is some complex sanskrit name starting with a.... i couldnt remember it so i named him asshole to make it easier on everybodies' tongues), vidhya and leha.... this girl vidhya is just like t (hey, i miss you kiddo!)... i even told her that and she was like "puh-lease" just like t!!.... she even has the same type of hair (which she doesnt like cos its really frizzy) and t's humungous, power-puff girl type emotive eyes.... she even gave me the look t gives me when i do something stupid when i sat on the floor.... i managed to make everyone sit on the floor though... and this really annoying security guard comes and throws us all out of his beat... we moved on and disturbed the peace in another wing.... we went around "jollu ollikifying" for a few hours talked about lots of shit... according to asshole, "you guys are all wierd... COOL!" and in the words of leha, "you all are like a bunch of old men reminiscising about school all the time"... basically we hung out... had lunch at the food court and got free coffees and pastries from kwiky's because luke works there..... it was good...

since i have internet at home in malluland i guess ill be online more often... yeah....

and aj... im not sleeping with the fishes...

peacerespectempathy

temporary insanity

i remembered things which would make any sane man squirm.... i remembered moments that made time seem to stand still... i forgot of myself and my own... i am a non-entity... i believe that my fat is driving me insane... destiny?... NOT!....

i asked Frank (N. Stine) about how i could relish life and all its shitty flavors and he toild me to look at the stars.... orion's belt reminded me of a 3 eyed monkey looking down at me and laughing at my flaws... the bastard!....

later on i went and spoke to this little puppy that sits in my bathroom and helps out by swatting mosquitoes while you take a crap... well, B.W. Gush told me things that helped me through the strenous ordeal of pushing fecal matter out of my butt... i thanked him and went out into the world, ready for whatever may come to harm me.... when suddenly, appu the parrot swooped down on me and plucked out my left eyeball... i had to arm/wing wrestle him to get my eye back after which i cut him up and fed him to B. Dubya G. the lavatory puppy.... the G was really happy....

afterwards i had my lunch of stewed human testicles and ovaries with appams made in the fat of a hundred women.... lyposuction be my food giver... then i met up with David Bowie and he reiminded me of home and friends and family and shawarma after which i heard a philosophical discourse by Dylan in which heclaimed that "The Times They Are A-Changin'".... The truth of what he said struck me so hard that i fell down crying through my epileptic seizure of enlightenment....

"do you like green eggs and ham, sam i am?"....

the truth!... THE TRUTH!!!.... agonizing truth... agonizing pain.... monkey's balls....

oh well.... i took some painkillers, washem them down with some coke and had 68 cookies and laid myself back while i crept into a suger induced coma....

peacerespectempathy

"Bring Me The Disco King"

this song by David Bowie totally describes how i feel right now.... i wont say anymore....

peacerespectempathy

confessions of a lonely, homesick mind

when you're lonely, do you dream of acorns and apple sundaes?... do look back and see angels and little puppies?....

turn around, do you miss your hearts and organs?... do you feel like your head is underground?...

do you remember green eggs and ham?... do you remember shawarma and thamia?.... do you remember your true friends?....

well i do....

i do....

peacerespectempathy

auto-rickshaws are evil

sound : bleaaaah!

i totalled my grandfather's scooter a few days back.... yeah.... me, i'm no good driver.... no way jose.... i panic at the sight of those black and yellow beasts from the nether-worlds..... autorickshaws freak me out man.... i feel like they're there just to make me crash and die or something... it's safer in the car... you got metal on all four sides protecting you from these maniacs.... but ona two wheeler.... brrr... im getting shivers here....

i was at this junction driving like an old man,... i musta been goin at like 20 k per hour or something.... not more.... truly... i wait at this signal and i'm one pof the last to move... i guess this bastard wanted to go before the signal turned red or something... but he cuts me off real rough-like aand i go and crash into the center partition.... i managed to turn bit and i scrape to a stop.... my jeans were torn and my leg was bleeding like crazy.... this cop comes to me all worried and stuff (he was a nice guy) nd tells me to take an auto home.... i was like "no way!".... i somehow managed to ride the scooter home with a severely damaged steering....

the wierd thing is that iwasnt scared a bit..... i thought that all the loudmouthing ive done about me not being scared of death wasnt real... but the truth is that i wouldnt hve minded dieing just then.... just leave my face intact eh... heh heh heh.... yeah.... thats all for now... im outta time... ciao world...

i now sink back into my tar pit.....

Asia Electrik

sound : JENNY FROM THE BLOCK!!!!!... (thats whats playing in the cafe)

seriously ladies and germs.... its been a while... my chances of coming online are near zero.... thers no internet at home and no cafe anyplace nearby.... what a bummer.... oh well... theres lots to spew....

reached here a few days back... people were pleasantly surprised by the way i looked... even my grandfather didnt bitch or anything... personally.... i feel im just like him... hence my sudden liking towards the guy... plus the fact that he got me a discman!!!... thats a whole other story though.... on the first day he comes to me wih a photo.. it was an old black and white group photo of his brothers and his dad.... and believe it or not... i look exactly like him... glasses and all.....

amrith called me then... he was like "has avinash arrived yet?".... heh heh heh.... my reply to that was "AMU! BASTARD!".... well i went over to his place cos it was his birthday and stuff.... we went and had a nice ethnic dinner at "Murugan's Idli Shop"... seriously... for some reason the name drove me crazy.... the food was good though... we ate masala dosas and onion oothappams.... yummy.....

arjun came all the way from wherever he stays just to see me... ok im flattering myself there... but yeah... it was cool to see tanky.... we (that being tanky alias arjun, amu, net alias nethra (amu's girl) and i) went and watched hitch... blech... i didnt like it... i kept myself occupied by irritating tanky (o that brought back memories).... plus the popcorn sucked.... after that we went to bikes and barrels and had a beer... my first in 2 or 3 years.... the place was great... the music was good.... they played jimi hendrix and led zeppelin and rhcp and stuff.... it was good... we all had a good talk.... net was nice... mostly after i meet somebody's girl i'd be making fun of em... but this kid is good for amrith... or maybe its because im growing older?.... hmm.....

oh yeah... my granddad got me a discman.... a sony atrac-3 plus thingy... its nice.... i finally have music back in my life... oh yeah... theres VH1 too... VH1 is nice... they play only english songs and they play good old stuff... like i saw zeppelin's "whole lotta love" yeaterday... i saw stp's plush too... all good....

my uncle took me to an Asia Electrik show yesterday... actually it was the 170th guru pooja at their family temple but they had a show because sivamani is his first cousin..... hell yeah.... SIVAMANI IS MY UNCLE'S FIRST COUSIN!!!... asia electrik consist of sivaman doing percussion, louis banks on synthesiser and niladiri kumar on sitar.... man oh man... just think,..... sivamani, india's greatest drummer ever... louis banks, india's formost jazz-man and niladiri kumar... the greatest sitarist after shri ravishankar.... it was awesome.... sivamani would go on these occasional blitzkrieg rampages on his new yamaha drum kit where you'd actually feel your clothes and hair being blown back thanks to the immense bass thwumping out of those massive speakers.... louis banks... the dude may be old but the man oozes attitude.... he would play the synth like he were the king of the world... and niladiri... i mean WOW!!!... the guy stole the show.... he really enjoyed playing... we could tell because he was smiling the whole time.... and his fingers are fucking amazing... the man shone.... he was playing an electric sitar through a boss effects box... the sounds he mad out of those things... and the speed... the speed... at times he sounded like some master shredder going at ludicrous speed over the frets of his/her axe.... the mans hands moved like lightning.... he'd play like there was no tomorrow and still be smiling.... there was this vocalist too...on the first piece... her name was kalpana... a voice of mercury... smooth, beautiful and heavy with emotion..... the whole thing was awesome... after the last song sivamani invited his brother and two other up and coming drummers to come up and show their skills off... they were great... after that it was a free for all.... the next guy was astounding... looked like an ordinary person off the street... but the way he played.... louis banks was smilin (and for the first time), even sivamani couldnt resist joining in with him.... after that there were two more guys.... they were great too....

after the show... my cousin helped me get all of their autographs plus we (haran uncle, rohan, karthik, akshay and i) had our picture taken with the band.... it was awesome.... i guess getting to watch such talented musicians come only once in a lifetime huh?...

oh yeah.... i was talking to sivamani's brother after the photo and he asked me whether i played drums cos he claimed that i looked like a drummer... i told him that i played guitar and he was like "Cool!"...

oh yeah... i gonna get he video of the show from my uncle... now thats cool!....

arjun left to go home yesterday... thing is he needed to buy a guitar.... and he wanted me to come and help him chose..... well, we got a double holed, rose wood acoustic... its awesome... the ton is rich and clean and the feel of the whole thing is beautiful.... nice...

i still cant get the asia electrik show out of my head.... oh yeah... this wat their first show in their upcoming world tour... if anybody reading this has a chance of seeing them... go for it... you wont be disappointed....

trust me...

peacerespectempathy

"Clarice, do you still hear the lambs?"

sound : Exiles - King Crimson

is it just me or does jo ratzinger/benedict xvi look a lot like sir anthony hopkins as Dr Hannibal Lector in silence of the lambs/red dragon/ hannibal?....

"I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chiante...."

peacerespectempathy

Jammin'

sound : Book Of Saturday - King Crimson

i went on a circuit around MG road in cochin... frankly speaking, of what i saw... cochin isn't all that it's hyped up to be... agreed i didn't go anywhere but hey... it didn't seem all too interesting in my eyes...

at first i went to music world... it was 9 in the morning and music world was closed... they said they'd open at 10, so i think to myself, "why not go for a walk?"... so i walk down the road, all the while getting sared at.... i walk into this bookstore (don't remember the name) and look around... the ac is busted so it's boiling in there... not to forget the fact that it's a million degrees outside... the shop was kinda small but they had a lot of good books... as usual i ask for Anthony Keidis' "Scar Tissue", they've never heard of it.... well i'm just browsing and i see "holy blood, holy grail"... ii'm thniking why not but then i realise i need to hit music world... i walk all the way back to music world and you know what?... it's still closed... i look around and i see a planet m across the road... and it was open!... i go there and look around... cd prices have gon down in india... last time i was here they were 550 bucks a cd... right now they're 390.... now thats real nice... plus planet m has all the good stuff... cream, zeppelin, the who, king crimson... everything... good stuff... i bought king crimson's "Larks' Tounges In Aspic"... it was only 290 bucks!... the 30th anniversary, 24 bit remaster...

then i walk all the way to manuel industries in my never-ending search for a slide and a capo.... they had slides alright... but for hawaiian guitar, not finger slides... and i didnt like their capo... what the heck, i sat down and started fooling around with their guitars... there was this 12 string that i kinda liked... just Rs 1950.... i was playing around with a spanish guitar when this big, australian guy comes up to me and asks me if i play... he was there buying traditional indian instruments for his collection and stuff... he picks yup a guitar and we both played stairway together... after tht he took his stuff and left... the cool thing is that through this whole thing we didnt bother finding out the others' names... we spoke about zeppelin and crimson and clapton and bowie and stuff (this guy was oldish... about 50 or something).... thats how we got to playing stairway... he was way better than me though... none-the less, it was cool....

i guess i've had one of those things known as a good day... it's been so long since i've had one....

PS: i'm trying to download MSN messenger here... the connection is really fucked up, it gets disconnected every half hour... as soon as i get it i'll let everyone know....

PPS: i'll post a review of "Larks' Toungue in Aspic" as soon as i listen to it...

peacerespectempathy

an update

sound : i'm listening to the rocks grow...

something i forgot to mention in my first post from malluland... this will totally destroy arun's and ajnu's theories of my supposed "hotness"... this happened in the sharjah airport... i had my guitar in it's gig-bag and it was slung around my back... i whacked this lady with it while i was pulling it up... i seriously didn't see her... i went like, "whoa! sorry 'bout that!" and she was all pissed off... she said something like "watch where you're going." and i think she called me a dumbass... i'm not too sure what it was but there was something that she said after she told me to watch where i was going.... i think it was dumbass.... i'm not too sure about that... must have been something worse because i seriously whacked her in the face with the guitar... she must have been pissed...

heh heh heh... i'm the clumsy love-god!...

peacerespectempathy

Heil Kaiser!

sound : nothing!

this is what happens when you force somebody to wake up at the most un-god-dudely hours to go to church... i wore my t-shirt upside down and i didn't realise it till the ending of mass... and the mass was looooooong!... and i dont mean just long i mean fucking forever man... the priest dragged everything... he sang the mass and it didnt even sound melodious or anything... and the songs... "ouch baby! very ouch!"... there was this guy who sang like a dying jack-ass... literally... he was braying like his life depended on it... i know i can't sing but hey... i could sing a hindi song and make it sound better than that guy singing his hymn.... man....

why did i have to go?... cos my grandma would have a coronary if she were to know that i don't have faith... these people are so lost in their tiny little worlds that they don't realise that there are ways of living unlike theirs...

the place is beautiful, no doubt about that... today, i took a walk along the river bank and sat down at a bunch of stairs... i put my feet into the water and sat there for like a half hour just thinking and looking around... it felt real nice... all it lacked was some ambient music.... i miss music... i plan on frequenting the spot... atleast there i get some microbial amount of privacy....

my plan to teach myself metallica's "nothing else matters" has been put on hold for a while... i don't have the album version and i dont have anyplace to listen to and play the song.... and not to forget, o privacy what-so ever.... i got my cousins over... tres annoyeux!.... i can't even play guitar anymore... and if i try, they come and start staring... agreed that's normal behaviour but hey.... i need my "alone time"....

for dumping my "nothing else matters" project i plan on taking on a new one... i plan on trying to train the mongrel thats tied up near the chicken coop.... it's the most chicken-hearted dog in the world... not to mention lazy.... the thing hates to move off it's place... and it shies away from people... everybody here calls it just "patti" but i heard mariam aunty named in Kaiser... a strong german tough dog name for this worm of a mongrel... how ironic.... it's still scared of me... but i guess i can make it get over that (i think its because i growled at it when it barked at me... hmm...) i plan on removing the ticks sticking to it's left ear, thereby getting into its good books as a good human (how rare is that?... a good human) who is also the leader of the pack... i guess the latter is already true because it shoves it's tail between it's legs and flattens it's ears each time i go near it.... give me time... i can make a respectable mongrel out of it yet....

there's two good things about kerala though... firstly, i feel kinda inspired... maybe it's the greenery... maybe it's all the thinking i've been able to do when i go for my walks... but i feel inspired... but the problem is that i do not have enough privacy for creation... i don't like having people looking over my shoulder all the time... makes me feel claustrophobic.... right now i'm lucky.. everybody's gone for a wedding (yuck!) and my cousins have gone for a movie... it's just my aunt (asleep), akshay (watching tv... he respects my privacy) and i.... secondly, i'm watching "that '70s show" daily"... not having sta world in jeddah i hadn't watched it i months... now i watch it daily...

Hyde:
"Guys, you know what God's greatest creation is?
... Boobs man!"

Fez:
"Yeah...heh heh heh
And then God said,
"Let there be boobs!"
And it was good"

heh heh heh.... hilarious stuff...

i'm thinking of going to the city to get myself a book... something good... a thinker... and then, i go to my spot on the river bank and read....

that's a good idea...

peacerespectempathy

"My Gucci's are frickin' magical dude!!!"

sound : Time - Pink Floyd

i'm here... i'm in kerala... chirakadavu to be exact... how am i?... surrounded by bugs, cursing at the gods of electricity, praying to the god(esse)s of music... fine, i guess...

the journey was good... yeah... had a small chat with one of the stewardesses on the flight from sharjah to bombay about me being the entertainment for the flight... told her that i might, just for her... that made her smile... then the two days at bombay were good... actually, one of those days was awesome... got t out of her school and spent the day with her... she's still all good but never got the time for a proper one-on-one... always had the folks and akshay around... but it was awesome... felt nice to have t around... she's like sunshine... yeah... sunshine... and me... i was the flower basking i her radiance.... i love that kid....

then there's his grand uncle of mine in bombay... we call him zacari uncle... before we entered his house, mama was like, "avi, you'll like this guy."... i was sceptical...the first glimpse i see of him is him sitting on his chair reading "The Alchemist"!... he was real cool... reads a ton of books... quotes poetry and shakespeare.... is a major '50s fan... he considers marilyn monroe a goddess... we sat and watched monroe's "Niagara"... frankly speaking... i kinda liked the movie... then he played some sinatra while we talked and had lunch.... he can sing too... he's all '50s... a real cool guy... he has an awesome dvd collection (think psycho, pygmallion, fiddler on the roof and a ton of marilyn monroe movies) and listens to great music... frank sinatra, simon and garfunkel and bob dylan to name a few... then when we were leaving he gave me a dvd... al pacino's "taxi driver"!!!... he said he knew that it was my type of movie!... and thanks to me being in malluland, there's no way on earth that i can play it here...none-the less, i was touched... this guy's met me just once in my life (not counting the time when i was 5 or 4 or something) and we connect... why didn't i meet him earlier?... he gave me his email address and told me to write him... and i will... now that's a cool old guy...

on the trip from bombay to malluland... well, i slept through the whole flight... didnt bother talking with the stewardess on my part of the plane cos she was all middle-aged and flabby and grumpy and stuff... sheesh!... was looking around at the duty free at the bombay (what kind of a name is mumbhai?.. i hate it... i prefer bombay) airport and the two girls who work in it come up to me and start a conversation... i was in awe of myself... i was never such a good flirt but there, i ruled!... hell yeah... while standing in the line i got to thinking... me: fat, short and ugly... the girls at the duty free: nice, sweet, sugar-and-spice-and-everything-nice types.... why was it that they came up to me... what in god-dude's holy name made them get the idea that they wanted to know my name and where im from and where i study and stuff... then it struck me... the answer was that simple... the answer was right there on the tip of my nose (quite literally too)... my new glasses!!!!... my glasses are magical without a doubt... it managed to convert a girl repellant fat-dude into an interesting love-god!... ok, i'm goin' way ahead of myself there... but yeah... i may not be a love-god but i'm better off than being a girl-repellor.... my gucci's are frickin' magical dude!!!

home-sickness is kinda new to me... i may have studied in boardingschool since i was ten years old but the closest i've ever come to home-sickness was missing my parents in the first two weeks of school in the sixth grade... i never was much of a home person... i asked and left home at age ten... but now... it's different... its nopt my folks i'm missing... no... its other people... i miss jeddah... i miss the people in jeddah... i miss every one of them... my dearest friends arun, ajnu, tina, akhil, neet, joel, jaimie... the older people: alex unc, joji nt, thankachen unc, susan nt, chachen, sunil unc, etc... even the little kids... aswati, neha, veni, shedda and lots more.... the love i feel for these human beings is so much... i guess its the closest i can get to paolo coehlo's description of agape... agape being the love that consumes, agape being the finality of eros and philos.... the all-consuming love... yes, this is what i feel for these people... agape... i controlled myself from crying at home the day before leaving but i couldnt help mysself in the aiport... i didn't cry out loud but i let my tears flow freely... it felt good in a bitter-sweet sorta way... all of us standing around hugging each other and crying in a way of just sharing our love for each other... that is the purest form of love... when you can open your hearts and your souls to a group of people... that is philos... it is with philos that people heal themselves during group therapies... that is exactly what it is... philos... people baring their souls to other people who in turn bare their's to you.... this is the purest and most beautiful form of love that i have ever experienced in my as-yet short, pointless, inexperienced existance on this realm...for all of you who have been there for me, i love you... for those that are my true friends, i love you...

the iPod is available in bombay... well not legally but smuggled... what the hell though... the thing is available sans any taxes... the shuffle is just Rs. 5200!!!... all this when i dont have any money.... yeah, i didn't get a discman yet.... i feel musically starved... right now i'm listening to pink floyd on these fucked up speakers on the pc....

i miss my friends... i miss home... i hate malluland... theres never any electricity and im constantly covered by a three inch layer of bugs....

i miss my friends....

i hate malluland...

peacerespectempathy

Where has all the happiness gone?

sound : The Times They Are A-Changing - Bob Dylan

Where has all the happiness gone?... i am surrounded by gloom... ajnu is really moody... akhil's all confused... he's happy about neet being here but there's something bothering him... me, i'm just plain pissed....

neet came today, and along with her there's her unending happiness (how does she do it?)... she's like a breath of fresh air in this smog of our collective despair... what the fuck happened to all the happy kids that we were?... why oh why do we all moan and complain?.... where has all the happiness gone?...

why is adolescance synonimous with moodiness and depression?... why should we all HAVE to know the paths of our lives at twenty?... where did all those happy, smiling faces go?... all those dreams and visions of paradise?... where they all fake?... what has become of us?.... where did the dreamers in us go?... is it just me, or do dreams never ever come true nowadays?....

Come mothers and fathers throughout the land,
And dont criticize what you can't understand.
Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command
Your own road is rapidly aging-
For the times they are a-changing.

where did all that vitality and pride go?.... where is all that excitement that all the kids had possessed?... where did our easter bunnies and santa clauses and jesus christs go?... where are our pillars?... who are our rocks?... and whatever did happen to our parental bonds?....

where did our constancy go?... where do our lives lead us to?... do we even have something better out there?... where did the truth go?... where are all of our dreams and hopes gone?... where are our beliefs?....

maybe we'll find all that we've lost and be the perfect adult... or maybe (and most likely) it'll be that we forget our individuality... we'll turn into that we despise... the onset of adulthood in not marked by the growth of facial hair or pubic hair or even academic merit... no, i believe that adulthood is attained when we either lose our every shred of individuality and turn into another mindless bum or when we accept our quirks and differences and let our innner child(ren) grow into a unique individual.... most of us go the way of the ignoramus, the every-person.... i just hope that i dont....

but back to the main point...

Where has all the happiness gone?

peacerespectempathy

"The baffled king composing hallelujah..."

sound : Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley

i feel choked.... no air passes through my throat... i'm strangled by this feeling of total helplessness... agreed that i want to leave this shit-hole... but its the people... i'll miss everybody... i was supposed to type out individual goodbyes but i doubt that i'm strong enough for something that final.... i did a few back in january... but i can't do it now... not again... not now.... i know i'm gonna drown in the cliche-ness of the following statement, but it's true none the less... i'm drowning in loneliness... as neil diamond put it.... "I'm a solitary man."... all that we (that being aj, akhil and i) had planned out for the last few days of mine in Saudi Arabia hasen't worked out as planned... everybody's had their shit to deal with.... it ain't fair....

the worst thing is that i'm gonna have to leave all these kids behind... arun reminded me of things which i havent even thought about... amongst us... my major connection with these kids was music... i was the music person... i was the one who helped in skewing the musical tastes of these kids... and i'm proud of it.... i love it that there are kids here who listen to radiohead, a perfect circle and led zeppelin.....

its like what arun said... every sound you hear is connected to some memory... every memory is in turn connected to its own emotion... its these smotions that drive us... we are all emotive entities... more or less similar to instinctive animals but (i doubt it) far more superior intelectually...

murphy's law has this really fucked up way of not screwing up on itself... its foolproof... its incredible how murphster's law manages to mess up each and every plan that we've ever concieved, yet, it doesnt pull off a Wile E and fall down a cliff.... murph-man always reigns... we gotta make a law against the law, murphy's law that is.... none of our plans have worked out... and i mean none...zilch.. nada... abso-fuckin'-lutely nothing... all our plans... watching movies together, me cooking something for everybody, pigging out at pizza hut (well, that was my fault actually... i got all senti-mental and stuff)... the truth is... nothing went according to plan...

oh yeah... neet arrives here today... and i leave the day after... i am god-dude's little chew toy....

i'm still posponing my goodbyes... i doubt if i can stay straight faced through it... i cant help it... i am a frickin virgo...

DAMN! i hate my feminine side.....

peacerespectempathy

Words of wisdom...

sound : We Didn't Start The Fire - Billy Joel

...from a daily planner:

DO BEST
OR
LEAVE IT

Lisent to the olders
their stories
will reduce to
successful lesones

They have a strong effect
that make everything
& every one admire
with them......
be like the flowers

Take your
position
and then
START IT

Look to the
essential
of things
Then decide

man i love cheap, pulp-philosophy.... it makes me feel so god-damn happy...

heh heh heh..... let me go and "lisent to the olders"...


peacerespectempathy

It' starts...

sound : Like A Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan

it's struck me... no, not struck me... i feel like i've been whacked with a mallet.... shit... only eight more days left... and after that i leave saudi arabia for good... i guess i've been putting off blogging the past few days because it's too tough to blog... there's just so much to say....

kairali was nice... me and akhil didnt sleep the whole night... we sat up talking and stuff... got eaten alive by mosquitoes... went for a swim at 7:30 in the morning... the usual.... it was the end of the thing that was cool... there was a small water-fight that broke out... actualy it started amongst the girls but me being me, i picked up a bottle and drenched aarya (whom i've managed to convert into a u2 fan)... then the whole thing broke out... me and akhil against aarya, heena and lini.... akhil is evil!.... heh heh heh.... we make a good team... we reached home at like 4 in the evening and i went to sleep at six... i got up at 1:47 in the morning and here i am, online... i can't sleep....

damn... that was my last kairali... ever...

i got myself new glasses a few days back... i love em... they're actually gucci shades but i've put powered lenses on them... i can just see the reactions on the faces of the people in malluland... heh heh heh....

eight more days... there's still so much to do... so much to pack... i havent moved a thing in my room....

every night there's dinner somewhere or the other... i've eaten so much the past week that i doubt i can eat anymore...

there are so many more goodbyes to say.. so many more things i want to say and do before i leave.... i'm delaying the goodbyes because it seems so damn final.... but the things i have to say and do... i need to... and fast....

EIGHT DAYS AND COUNTING...

peacerespectempathy