[Thou hath] not so much brain as ear wax.

taken from "Troilus and Cressida"

sound : God is in the Radio - Queens of the Stone Age

last night i found out that i have a slightly eccentric grand-uncle in b'lore who's managed to trace out our lineage back to WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!!... this guy's even got the documents and records to prove it... how cool is that?...

I, The Scarred Philosopher, am the descendant of William Shakespeare.

i seriously have to meet this guy and check out all the paperwork and stuff...

no wonder that i've always loved shakespeare... plus, this guy used to be an actor... a stage actor... his best role was as antonius in julius caeser... cool...

I finally am proud of my family... heh heh heh...

peacerespectempathy

"It's the little differences..."

sound : Misirlou - Dick Dale

JULES
-- okay now, tell me about the hash
bars?

VINCENT
What do you want to know?

JULES
Well, hash is legal there, right?

VINCENT
Yeah, it's legal, but is ain't a
hundred percent legal. I mean you
can't walk into a restaurant,
roll a joint, and start puffin' away.
You're only supposed to smoke
in your home or certain
designated places.

JULES
Those are hash bars?

VINCENT
Yeah, it breaks down like this:
it's legal to buy it, it's legal to
own it and, if you're the
proprietor of a hash bar, it's
legal to sell it. It's legal to
carry it, which doesn't really
matter 'cause -- get a load of this
-- if the cops stop you, it's
illegal for them to search you.
Searching you is a right that the
cops in Amsterdam don't have.

JULES
That did it, man -- I'm fuckin'
goin', that's all there is to it.

VINCENT
You'll dig it the most. But you
know what the funniest thing about
Europe is?

JULES
What?

VINCENT
It's the little differences. A
lotta the same shit we got here,
they got there, but there they're a
little different.

JULES
Examples?

VINCENT
Well, in Amsterdam, you can buy
beer in a movie theatre. And I
don't mean in a paper cup either.
They give you a glass of beer, like
in a bar. In Paris, you can buy
wine at McDonald's. Also, you
know what they call a Quarter
Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

JULES
They don't call it a Quarter
Pounder with Cheese?

VINCENT
No, they got the metric system
there, they wouldn't know what the
fuck a Quarter Pounder is.

JULES
What'd they call it?

VINCENT
Royale with Cheese.

JULES
(repeating)
Royale with Cheese. What'd they
call a Big Mac?

VINCENT
Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they
call it Le Big Mac.

JULES
What do they call a Whopper?

VINCENT
I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger
King. But you know what they put
on french fries in Holland instead
of ketchup?

JULES
What?

VINCENT
Mayonnaise.

JULES
Goddamn!

VINCENT
I seen 'em do it. And I don't mean
a little bit on the side of the
plate, they fuckin' drown 'em
in it.

JULES
Uuccch!

peacerespectempathy

WE GOT THE VISA TODAY!!

actually the passports reached us today... it was stamped at riyadh and sent to us...

---------------------------------------

Happy birthday Joji aunty!

The Free Land of Philoklonthia

sound : Terrible Lie - NIN

"Think for yourself. Question Authority"

check out my nation.... it ROCKS!!!... The Free Land of Philoklonthia is located in the GROIN!!!.... heh heh heh... everybody pay a visit... drugs are free and the rich are oppressed... welcome on, welcome all!... welcome to my perfect state....

we got ganja!

"Philoklonthia is ranked 42,685th in the world for Largest Soda Pop Sector."

peacerespectempathy

PS: i forgot to mention this... it's steffy's birthday... shout outs are in order....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEFFY!

memoirs of an amateur circus clown

sound : God Put A Smile Upon your Face - Coldplay

i guess my freak out's over... atleast for now... i hate it when i go all moody and shit... whatever the case is i'm over it for now atleast.... fuckin' mood-swings!.....

i rode lavanya's cycle yesterday... me and akhil... the thing is that i havent ridden a cycle in more than 5 years... and the joy it brought me (to ride a bike again) was awesome... the images that came into my head at that moment were beautiful... me riding beside all those sculptures on the corniche with my trainer wheels still on... taking my brand new red bike and riding it through some puddles the after it rained, then having to go to the workshop cos my chains were all rusted.... these saudi kids throwing rocks at me and grabbing my bike when i fell down... mama going and screaming at the bastards later on (they were neighbours)... my taking a huge fall while trying out a few stunts out in the corniche, mercy aunty having to remove this piece of dirt from my hand with a surgical knife.... the memories rushed at me at such speed and yet i saw each and every one of them clearly.... all that just because i was riding a girl's cycle....

akhil took a small spill... we exchanged cycles after a while... i took karrunya's cycle (which was smaller) and he took the big one.... i looked like those clowns you see at the circus... you know?.. the huge fat clowns who ride around in mini mo-bikes and scooters... well.... me and akhil were racing and it is frickin' tough to cycle fast in a small cycle... so i went all speed racer on his ass... i tried to scare him by cutting him off... only problem was that i hit his front tyre and he went tumbling... luckily nothing happened to him.... i dunno what was wrong with us but the both of us were laughing like a couple of hyenas....

i doubt he'd have been laughing if he'd been hurt...

peacerespectempathy

something i can never have

- nine inch nails

i still recall the taste of your tears.
echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.
my favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.
scraping through my head
'till i don't want to sleep anymore.

you make this all go away.
you make this all go away.
i'm down to just one thing.
and i'm starting to scare myself.

you make this all go away.
you make this all go way.
i just want something...
i just want something i can never have

you always were the one to show me how,
back then i couldn't do
the things that i can do now.
this thing is slowly take me apart.
grey would be the color if i had a heart.
i just want something i can never have.

come on and tell me
you make this all go away.
you make this all go away.
i'm down to just one thing.
and i'm starting to scare myself.

you make this all go away.
you make this all go way.
i just want something...
i just want something i can never have

in this place it seems like such a shame.
though it all looks different now
i know it's still the same.
everywhere i look you're all i see;
just a fading fucking reminder of who i used to be.

come on tell me.
you make this all go away.
you make this all go away.
i'm down to just one thing.
and i'm starting to scare myself.

you make this all go away.
you make it all go way.
i just want something...
i just want something i can never have.
i just want something i can never have.

TWANG!

sound : Something I Can Never Have - Nine Inch Nails

the past week's been rough... the thing about surya... me freaking out outta the blue... people thinking that i'm gonna kill myself...and today... neet called me up today... she sounded all freaked out... i hate it when girls cry... i may be a chauvenistic bastard, but it breaks my heart to see or hear a girl cry... she was all bipolar about everything... i talked her through the situation and stuff and finally we both agreed on what i said... its funny though... how you try your very best to get out of something and finally when you get what you wanted it doesnt seem all too right... wierd are the ways of god-dude huh?.... anyway, its for the best of everybody... so there... i have blocked myself out af another situation... she's lucky actually... she wears her heart on her sleeve... most people do... but me... i lock it up inside and iron safe inside another iron safe and then i dump it in a bank vault in switzerland.... if i were a viking i'd be called TSP the un-hearted or something... and to top it all off... i broke a string today.... i lost my capo so i downloaded a tuner and i was trying out some alternate tunings... all i actually had to do was detune one step... i go off experimenting and TWANG!... my third string broke... i had to get myself another set...

its incredible the amount of bad karma i'm wading through right now....

i guess it's time for some good karma to pay me a visit... or better still... god-dude should prove to me that (s)he cares for me.... i'm a materialistic asshole so (s)he should get me a bose sound system... yeah... thats a nice deal... i get a bose system and god-dude gets my respect... heh heh heh... the cheapskate wont pull through... i know...

hey!... i must be the only guy on earth who loses a girl on valentines huh?...

i love myself to itty bitty pieces....

sheesh...

peacerespectempathy

suicidal imbecile... NOT!

sound : Head Like A Hole - Nine Inch Nails

i never realized that there were so many people who cared... i get 2 calls today morning from aj and akhil asking me whether i'm ok... and now arun calls me and asks me to come and chat with him... and i thought its my lucky day or something... then i find out that arun thinks i'm flipin'... i seem kinda desperate in my last entry it seams... yes, i was kinda pissed... i still am... the thing about surya left me feeling like crap... but hey... the rest of the stuff just came at the moment... but thanks you guys... for seeing to it that i dont kill myself... crap!... i just read the damn thing... it does seem a lot like a suicide note... IT ISN'T!!!... arun, aj and akhil... thanks... i aint killing myself just yet... and the people who want me dead- sorry dudes... not yet anyway... maybe later....

yes, i am freaking out... yes, i'm a nut-case... i've said all of this a million times... nothing new here... the thing is... untill i'm able to not say stuff like that, i'm screwed... i may be happier compared to what i was like last november or something... but i'm still the same old messed up person inside... my lack of self confidence is shocking... i can't believe that i do not even have a shred of self-worth anymore... oh well... must be another block i'll have to overcome....

i guess procastrination is a part of my very essence... i was born fifteen days late for cryin' out loud!... anything i have to do i put away for a later time... anything... work, studies, taking a frikkin' piss... i delay everything... atleast i dont discriminate... i procastrinate without discrimination...

i am a non-discriminating procastrinator...

"The Newest Commandment" is under works... and by the proudest of the lumberjack clan... one of my own... she who cuts many a forest shall start her own brain space... it is the "Daughter of the Cut-forest" herself... the one i call "TANI"... more details as they come in... maybe after completion so to speak... completion would be the creation... but since it is already created is it complete yet?... but for it to be complete shouldn't the creator officially finish or a sign of completion from the creator herself?... so will the completion of the creation of the incomplete.... Yenna Patti?

"Oh no, I've gone cross-eyed again" - Austin Powers

peacerespectempathy

TOO MUCH COFFEE MAN

Shannon Wheeler is a frickin' genius!

random

sound : Pretty (Ugly Before) - Elliott Smith

i'm scared... there's so much that i dont know... all this stuff about college... i'm lost here... i have no idea what i'm doing... i can't study, i cant even listen to music anymore... it felt like the past few days went by in some sort of hazy blur.... i guess i'm still scared on some level...

i had to give my ring to akhil in my dream cos i lost his ring.... and i was supposed to be his best man....

i have no idea what i should write for my essay.... i want to join college... what should i write?... don't get me wrong, i love writing.... its just that.... i dunno what to write about... especially for an admission into college....

everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...
everything means nothing to me...

i cried a few minutes back... i dont know why im saying this.... its not something i'd usually say....but i cried for a friend.... i chatted with surya a little while back.... she's not well... there's something wrong with her blood count... the doctors dont know what's actually wrong with her.... she gets sick almost every week nowadays... and today... she was in pain.... she couldnt sleep.... but the incredible thing is that she's still the same girl i've always known... bubbly, full of joy... i dont know how she does it but i swear... she has to be the greatest soul on earth for going through this with a smile.... makes me feel horrible about myself for bitching and whining about the small things.... more power to you susu....

i bit one of my nails.... the ring-finger on my right hand...

i miss my old friends.... suren, jude, surya, amrith, dee, uday, sibi, arjun, rakesh, adang,..... i wish i could see them all again....

i found out yesterday that mama wants me to perform with her at the french embassy in march.... she's doing this veena piece with mehboob on tabla and she wants me to play this background chorus like thing on guitar... it seemed kinda easy so i agreed....

i gotta make a call.... it's something i dont usually do...

i cant type anymore... this thing about surya... i feel like shit...

peacerespectempathy

CRACK!!!

sound : Orestes - A Perfect Circle

*-------------------------------*

KEY

Deputy Lance - me

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum - aj

Chinjunoddu chothikyu - t

Chinfive - akhil

*-------------------------------*

Deputy Lance says:
guess what...

Deputy Lance says:
i went out to buy a new guitar case...

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
yeah?

Deputy Lance says:
i wanted a hard one....

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
how much was t?

Deputy Lance says:
wait... lemme finish..

Deputy Lance says:
i go to international market...

Deputy Lance says:
i enter the first shop... nope... no case...

Deputy Lance says:
i enter the fender store...

Deputy Lance says:
nope... no case...

Deputy Lance says:
though i drool at the strat

Deputy Lance says:
then i go to the yamaha store....

Deputy Lance says:
i enter and the first thing i see is the guitar case...

Deputy Lance says:
music starts playing in my head...

Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
oooh

Deputy Lance says:
i feel like el mariachi... malaguena playing and leather jacket

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
yippeee!

Deputy Lance says:
et al

Deputy Lance says:
i pick it up...

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
heh heh!

Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
cool

Deputy Lance says:
black leather ase....

Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
oh WOW

Deputy Lance says:
brown velvet interiors...

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum
says:
hot!

Chinjunoddu chothikyu
says:
mufaasa!

Deputy Lance says:
compartment for my plecs and strap and stuff

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
moist.....

Deputy Lance says:
i swear... moist....

Chinfive says:
aj is gettin turned on....

Deputy Lance says:
then i hold it in my hand and i cradle it like a baby...

Deputy Lance says:
i take it to the cashier and ask him the price....

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
with a doubt??.... impressive!

Deputy Lance says:
..........

Deputy Lance says:
.......

Deputy Lance says:
....

Deputy Lance says:
..

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
...............

Deputy Lance says:
.

Deputy Lance says:
........................

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
fuck!

Deputy Lance says:
drumroll please!

Chinjunoddu hothikyu says:
Falala!

Deputy Lance says:
............

Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
...........

Chinjunoddu chothikyu ays:
and!>!?!?!?!?

Deputy Lance says:
760 BUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
i dont want ot hear it

Deputy Lance says:
i missed dieing right there!!!

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
OUCH!

Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
YENDAMMO!!!!!!!

Deputy Lance says:
i felt like i had my nuts kicked in......

Chinfive says:
ouch

Deputy Lance says:
malaguena stopped... and i felt like a f-in mallu song was playing in my head...

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
his nuts are fine akhil!

Deputy Lance says:
confusion theerkinemmeee

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
lol...

Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
ha ha ha

Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
OMIGOD AVI

Counting Bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum says:
i swear...

Deputy Lance says:
i swear...

Deputy Lance
says:
i heard my heart crack in two...

Chinjunoddu chothikyu says:
gulp...

Any story that involves me has a fucked up ending... SHEESH!

peacerespectempathy

.... COUGH! COUGH!

sound : Everything Means Nothing To Me - Elliot Smith

remember my last real post?... i feel "squeaky clean" and stuff?.... ha!... the karmic balances had to neutralize itself again.... i woke up the next morning with an evil cough and a really horrid cold... my head was throbbing... man oh man was god-dude getting back at me or what huh?....

------------------------------------------------------------------

dear itch at the bottom of my throat,

i know you were put there by god-dude just to annoy me.... i know god-dude too... so hey! you dont have to lie about it.... you know what?... you and me aren't all too different... nah.... actually we're both totally different... you i want to get rid of ASAP.... the truth is... i dont like you... not one bit... all those years in boarding school when i wanted to get sick you wouldnt come... i know you're here just to mock me... what are you guys?... tha league of TSP annoyances.... all of you... you, god-dude, britney spears, usher, nu-gangsta music, bollywood... yeah... i know what you people are upto... im onto you buddy... theres no escaping the eagle-eyed philosopher.... as of now.... im evicting you... yeah, thats tight... get the fuck outta my throat!!... i dont have the energy to cough one more time!... thats right mofo... OUT!!!

i have nothing more to say...

the very pissed off land-(or shopld i say throat)-lord,

The Scarred Philosopher

peacerespectempathy

I Believe

sound : Everything Means Nothing To Me - Elliot Smith



as a child i always believed that heaven was a place where all my dead pets would stay to invite me when i reach there... i believed that heaven was where i'd see my grandma again... i believed that all types of candy grew off of the trees in heaven and the rivers and lakes were full of soda... i believed that man and animal would live in perfect harmony like Eden island in the old phantom comics... i believed that heaven lay somewhere just above the clouds.... i belived that all good people would go to heaven...i believed that i would go to heaven....



i now know that i am not a good person....



will i go to heaven?



where exactly is heaven?....



what exactly is heaven?....



peacerespectempathy

Miss Misery

- Elliot Smith

(Dm) I'll (C) fake it (Bb) through the (F) day
With some (Gmadd9) help from Johnny Walker (Gm) Red
Send the (F) poison (Am) rain (C) down the (Bb) drain
To (F) put bad thoughts in my (A) head

(Dm) Two (C) tickets (Bb) torn in (F) half
And a (Gmadd9) lot, and nothing to (Gm) do
Do you (F) miss (Dm) me, (Bb) Miss (F) Mise(G)ry
Like you (Bb) say you (F) do?

(Ab) We met in the (Cm) park
Read the (F) lines in my (Ab) head
Told me I was (Cm) strong
Hardly ever (C) wrong I said man you mean

(Dm) You had (C) plans for (Bb) both of (F) us
That in(Gmadd9)volved a trip out of (Gm) town
To a (F) place I've (Am) seen in a (C) maga(Bb)zine
That (F) you left lying a(A)round

(Dm) I don't (C) have you (Bb) with me (F) but
I (Gmadd9) keep a good atti(Gm)tude
Do you (F) miss (Dm) me, (Bb) Miss (F) Mise(G)ry
Like you (Bb) say you (F) do?

(Dm(2)) I know you'd rather see (Gm) me (Bb) gone
Than to (F) see me the (G) way that I (F) am
But I (Dm) am in the (C) life anyway

(Dm) Next (C) door the (Bb) TV's (F) flashing
(Gmadd9) Blue frames on the (Gm) wall
It's a (F) come(Am)dy of (C) errors, you (Bb) see
It's a(F)bout taking a (A) fall

(Dm) To van(C)ish in(Bb)to ob(F)livi(Gmadd9)on
Is easy to (Gm) do
And I (F) try to (Dm) be but you (Bb) know me
(F) I come (G) back when you (Bb) want me (F) to (C)
Do you (F) miss (Dm) me (Bb) Miss (F)Mise(G)ry
Like you (Bb) say you (F) do?

[Transcribed by Matt Burgess]

sound: Miss Misery - Elliot Smith

its three twenty something in the morning and i've just had a bath....

i feel squeaky clean....

man, i love this feeling...

peacerespectempathy

what every kid dreams of.... 

On edifying this swollen ego

The chasm opens up below me.

From the depths a sulfur reek.

The seven headed Hydra rises up and out,
Curious and head-strong; like a child.

Thrusting themselves upon your ego
Writhing in pleasure, you merge.
Entities unite, you are now no more.

Why do you change?
Why do you weep for normalcy?
Fall back upon your shattered conscience,
You are now changed, you do not exist.
Witness the One in orgasm.

Wear the cloak of ignorance
This mask of indiscretion helps too,
Belligerent you are, yet you smile.
Embrace yourself, hold on tight.
Tighter and tighter till you choke yourself,
You deserve love. Love yourself.
Do yourself a favor, listen to me,
End it all, let go of this numbing constancy.

I want to embrace all that I am,
I want to bridle this dualness,
To permanently break this sphere.
I want to rip this cloth apart,
I want to deaden my pain,
To permanently destroy this ego.
I want to soften this touch,
I want to break down my insides,
To permanently shatter this conscience.
I want to peel this flesh off of me,
I want to ascend into the heavens, naked,
Make myself less solid and material,
To annihilate this fucking mind I own.

Confining myself into this paranoid shell,
I sink deeper down into my self-made prison.
I choose to let myself fall, I want to fall,
Fall down and break this dirty thought;
Once broken, I am free of my human mind.
I drop my leaden heart into your offertory plate,
Take it, take it and weight it against your ego.
Block your reverse jointed physicality
From the truths behind your head, your gods and lovers.
Overcome this state of dumbness,
Overcome all of this dirty thoughtlessness.
Shear the sheep! Slaughter the sheep!
You are one of them, remove yourself from the Whole.
Why do you live like this, void of self esteem?
Why do you bother? Why?
Your soul, your mind, so long forgotten;
Calcified, they are now dead.
They died fighting against ignorance.
"Ignore the non-ignorant!" The ignoramus commands you.
But ignorance breeds everything,
Without ignorance we are God.