everybody's leavin....
so much for being positive... t and neet leave tomorrow... arun leaves the day after... ill be left here with nobody to even talk to... aj and akhil are busy with their exams... yeah... i will be busy with mine too, but i need to converse... i am but human, aint i?...
why is it that everything good just stops being that way just when you really start to enjoy it?... will it always be that way?... will it always be that way?... will we always have to suffer the pains of being beaten back into place by the truth?... with all the energies that lie in the truth why is it that we always have to suffer for it?... why do we have to bear the brunt of seperation... arun's goin to canada, t's goin to bombay, neet's goin to kerala, i'll be (hopefully) leaving soon, aj will leave after her 12th, akhil's leaving next year (i think)... why?... wont even two of us be together... why does fate send us all away to different parts of the globe?... why?... why?... why?...
agreed its all for the better... arun's already got his big break... t and neet are in college... hopefully ill get my big break... we're all growing up...
why do we have to grow up?... agreed i still behave like a child... i know that i am getting older... me liking it or not... i am scared of commitment in all its different forms... all forms of thought drives me crazy... instinct is what makes me who i am... i thrive to be a child again... i thrive for the moments of simple pleasures... the easy innocent pleasures that on gains through the smile of a loved one, the feeling of ecstatic joy gotten while you play with your friends... the terrorized gasp that you breath while you are caught in a game of hide and seek... i miss the decadence of childhood... all these memories are just stains now... stains in the fabric of my life.... stains i wish never to remove... ever...
so it's all come back round to breaking apart
again breaking apart like i'm made up of glass
again making it up behind my back again
holding my breath for the fear of sleep again
holding it up behind my head again cut in deep
to the heart of the bone again round and round
and round and it's coming apart again over and
over and over
now that i know that i'm breaking to pieces i'll
pull out my heart and i'll feed it to anyone
crying for sympathy crocodile cry for the love
of the crowd and the three cheers from
everyone dropping through sky through the
glass of the roof through the roof of your mouth
through the mouth of your eye through the eye
of the needle it's easier for me to get closer to
heaven than ever feel whole again
i never said i would stay to the end i knew i
would leave you with babies and everything
screaming like this in the hole of sincerity
screaming me over and over and over i leave
you with photographs pictues of trickery
stains on the carpet and stains on the memory
songs about happiness murmured in dreams when the both
of us knew how the end always is...
we all know how the end always is...
i dont like it...
i hate the end...
i hate it...
i hate the end...
i hate this feeling of helplessness...
FUCK YOU!
peacerespectempathy
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