Decadence

sound : The Cure - The End Of The World

i kept a promise to myself... i guess its the first time i've ever done that... a week earlier i had promised myself that i would read on the beach at dawn... thursday night (during the trip to the beach) none of the kids went to sleep... all of em spent the night talking and watching tv... on the crack of dawn i picked up my book (Paulo Coelho's "The Pilgrimage") and went walking to the beach... the breeze was cool, the sun was just above the horizon... i turn to the page where my bookmark was... page number 115, chapter name; 'Death'... i read of PC's experience with the exercise and read on through that chapter, the next chapter and finall stopped at the end of 'Madness'... it was really beautiful... i had the waves lapping at my feet which were dug into he sand... the total feeling was of completeness... it felt so whole... so PERFECT... everything bout it... the way the sun shone behind me on its way to the horizon on the other side, the way he waves carried more and more sand over my feet till the were buried till my ankles, i hadnt combed or tied my hair since the swim the night before so it was let out in all its fritzy glory.. yes, it was perfect... i felt this totally happy feeling right from the soles of my feet to the tip of each and every strand of hair on my head... after a while i just sat there and closed my eyes to see how much i could feel... the periodic lapping of the waves sounded heavenly... i could hear a couple of filipinoes who were also there for the weekend go down the pier to fish... they sunded so happy and carefree... all sense of worry and depression left my body for that small period of time... i felt en league with the world... gaia was me... i was god... i just sat there looking into the horizon and watching the sea-gulls dive every now and then as they caught their breakfast... time flew by... before i knew it, it was breakfast time... i had to leave spot on the beach and go and have breakfast with everybody else... for a moment i thought i should stay but the thought of breakfast in itself had shattered the mood... it was a beautiful day... excepting for the small part of it where i was struck by symptoms of withdrawal which was cured as fast as it came... i spent nine and a half hours in the water that day... most of us were sunburnt even though everyone was piling up on sunscreen... me, i just got tanned... really tanned!... it was a good day... the first in a really long time...

peacerespectempathy