sound : NIN - Hurt
(i have got to listen to something more cheerful before i kill myself)
i finished the book (Adrian Mole: From Minor to Major) a while back... i sat back and strummed a few riffs and pieces whilst i pondered on the book... as i have said before, i have so much to relate to with adrian mole (to be know hereafter as AM)... his teen years were exactly like mine... smart and intelectual yet totally lacking in the field of academics... thereby screwing his life thanks to him doing poorly in his "A" levels (graduation)... his life was better in some ways... by the time he was twenty he had written a saga (The Restless Tadpole), an experimental novel (Lo! The Flat Hills of My Homeland) and has a job (however bad it may be)... and this is a guy who doesnt even exist outside the planes of literary imagination... look at me... look at me... i cant even drive yet, i have not been to college, i do not have a job, a major portion of my literary work was lost thanks to me being so damn secretive and so damn dumb so as not to back up my files knowing my pc was a piece of crap not worth its weight in diarhea-ic horse shit.... me the moron....
fought with the folks as usual... they say i shouldnt call my brother a retard... dont get me wrong, i aint shallow or anything... but the idiot gets on my nerves... i can repeat whatever im saying a million times with no response and now that i have found a way to get his attention, i am deprived of my only means of comunication to the over-rated rainman... "definitely need to get chatta [i.e. me] in trouble. definitely. yes, definitely some trouble for him,definitely."... balls....
the truth is - life is the biggest damn boot you've ever seen... and all this boot wants to do is stay superglued to your over-abused ass.... i shall restart work on my ode to heirarchial existance... it was an incomplete piece that was lost in the great hard disk failure of '04... as of the last time i worked on it, it was 36 (or was it 33???) verses short... i doubt if i can rewrite it to its former (publicly unknown) glory or even rewrite it, but i will try to... and if that does not work i shall try to write another piece on another topic in the same fashion.... my brains are turning into pudding thanks to all this non-stimuli around me... i am surrounded by morons (i think i should copyright that phrase) and live among the ignorant... i feel he redundancy of guilt, anger and depression... my life is fueled by the angst that drives the despotic and the mentally deranged...
I am Avinash Jose Ignatius, a depressed, moronic, mentally deranged, angst-ridden despot.
peacerespectempathy
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