POBox # 117[93]

This is what God looks like.

sound : TOOL - H

we got an email from the american embassy... it said that they had already arranged for us to have our interview on the 30th of may 2004 and that they had sent us the papers concerning the interview a month before the date of the interview... but (why does there always have to be a but?).... instead of sending the papers to our add they sent it to POBox# 117 (whereas our address is POBox # 11793)......... the folks at the embassy said that they will now give us a new date for the interview as soon as possible... just imagine... if we had gotten our papers at that time i would have been able to have joined college by now... and it took so long for us to hear of this because of the terrorist threats out here in saudi arabia...

life sure does suck, doesn't it?

peacerespectempathy

the hymn of I [1/0]

this Infinity is Us
i am in peace with the I.
the Oneness of the All
depends upon the Independant.

i am 142857.

i am Unchange-able;
yet I is not the Constant.

the Constant changes daily
until, the Variable it becomes.
the Variable then stagnates
into the Constant.
this cycle cycles,
lets call it the Cycle.

i am not the I,
i am i.
i am small and insignificant,
yet i am not Insignificant.
I is significant,
yet I is not Significant.
I is Insignificant just like me.

we are not the Us;
yet by Us we are defined.
definitions decieve me and you,
but I is always knowing.

we want to be one with the One.
we want to be the All.
we want to be I.
we are infinitely Finite.

i am the We.
we are the I.

I. We. One. All.

ÆMÆN

peacerespectempathy

The Centurion Speaketh

sound : Brian Setzer - Malaguena

yes ladies and germs, it is true... i have reached my hundredth post... i am a centurion among bloggers... i am en par with the master bloggers of our time... i am typing my hundredth post...

remember this?

To be done over by a dog
Then washed down with some lemonade,
Ah, I am but the dumb-ass ,
The lord of germs and worms.
Amen to you damsel of shit,
Forget me maiden named life,
Goodbye all.

yes, my very first post circa Saturday, January 10, 2004 e.v., 1:52 AM... the birth of The Scarred Philosopher (then known as Orb) was in those humble words... a complex mixture of seething self-hatred and purely tongue in cheek poetry.... so small were the beginnings, yet i still remain relatively unknown and ignored...

what progress has been made in the past 100 posts?... have i been in any way enlightened/ edified?... yes my outlooks on life are far more logical and perversely cynical... everything i see i judge... i am not perfect yet i attain immence pleasure in insulting others and their beliefs and ideas... am i mean?... am i a mindless cynic?.... lets leave that at that....

has my predicament (education-wise and capital-wise) changed over the past 100 posts?.... not too much... im still not in college... im still broke... and i still havent found my anima...

whats changed over the past 100 posts?

• my guitaring has improved
• i can do basic repairs on a car
• my hair has grown really long
• my tastes in music have improved in geometric figures
• i have started studying for my GRE
• my writing has improved
• i lost most of my writing and music in the great disk failure of '04
• my interest in philosophy and alternative religion has increased
• i havent lost weight (so thats not much of a "change")
• i have worked as a car mechanic, a teacher (matial arts) and as a market researcher
• i found out that i am not an unnatractive blob of meat

on the whole it seems like there is a slight improvement (however small it may be).... im older, wiser and much more aggressive about life... my outlook on what Is has changed and i believe that the All is much more receptive to my brain mutterings... i am more in tough with art, music, expression than ive evr been in my whole life... yes... i can proudly say that i am a better person...

a hundred posts....

WOW!!

peacerespectempathy

The Synchronicity

Wizard of Oz and Dark Side of The Moon

Since I have both DSoTM and The Wizard of Oz I guess I'll try this out....

CAVIAR

The Word was uttered: the One exploded into one
thousand million worlds.
Each world contained a thousand million spheres.
Each sphere contained a thousand million planes.
Each plane contained a thousand million stars.
Each star contained a many thousand million things.
Of these the reasoner took six, and, preening, said:
This is the One and the All.
These six the Adept harmonised, and said: This is the
Heart of the One and the All.
These six were destroyed by the Master of the
Temple; and he spake not.
The Ash thereof was burnt up by the Magus into
The Word.
Of all this did the Ipsissimus know Nothing.

[Aleister Crowley:"The Book of Lies"]

"If I only could decieve you..."

sound : king crimson - the book of saturday

got an email from neet today... she got flashed at... heh heh heh... what do you expect?.. its kerala... the land of sexually frustrated perverts.... kairali's iftar party was today... the hotel sucked and the food sucked even more... i have nothing to type about... i think i'll get back to "the book of lies"

peacerespectempathy

"Mention this to me."

sound : TOOL - Disposition/Reflection/Triad (21 minutes of sheer ecstacy)

its been kinda uneventful... no happenings, no arguments, nothing... after all thats been goin on that seems mighty wierd... did a little fooling around with my template... added a new pic into my profile (and for all you poor souls who dont recognize the pic; its the album cover for King Crimson's debut album "In The Court Of The Crimson King")... about my last post... a few people (two actually) have asked me where i got it from... its from a book i'm reading right now... "Myths Of The World: A Thematic Encyclopedia" by Jordon Michael... its a very well researched and detailed book... quite enlightening actually... i'll be pasting another excerpt from the afore-mentioned book at the end of this post....

i've been studying for my GRE and ive reached the math section... its not as hard as i though, scary none the less but not as bad as i thought it would be... so far all ive seen is very basic algebra and some problem based on the pythogorian theorem... mostly its all logical stuff which i feel is kinda ok to do...

i cant seem to stop myself from sitting online... last months bill came and papa was blowing his head out... 250 bucks... thats in one month... but i have an argument to nullify all claims of me being an asshole... i dont get to watch tv cos he watches mallu tv the whole day... i have run out of books to read... i hardly have any friends... i have no job and my life's in shambles... have some sympathy people....

its ramadhan... the time when people fast by day and feast (or should i say gorge?) by night... the time when people stop brushing their teeth lest they swallow some water by mistake... the time when the accident rates increase in geometric figures during and/or before the i'sha prayer (the fast-breaking time) because of the multitudes of bad-drivers who take to the streets at the last minutes in states of fatigue and hunger and sheer exhaustion after fasting for about 12 hours... im not talking about everyone though... most people are ok... they do their thing without endangering other's lives by poisoning them with their oral fumes or crushing them under their cars grand theft auto style...

i cant seem to lose weight... ive started walking again now that the unbearable heat is gone but i have no way of losing weight whatsoever... im planning on a health drink diet... i stay on health drinks till sun-down... and by health drink im not talking about some synthetic chemical-cocktail... im thinking more on the lines of milk, egg, apple and banana through a blender.... and at night i shall eat normal food... just in controlled quantities... imagine... im twenty and i have a pot belly... small children are scared at the sight of me... and i have a non-ego.... my ego's disappeared...

sometimes i really miss my old pc (the dead one)... agreed it was slow and all but it had all the good music in it... i really wish i had some king crimson right now... oh yeah... i just read in the papers that ozzy is gonna do "21st Century Schizoid Man" in his next studio session... i think he'll be able to do it some justice cos i always felt the KC version sounded a lot like black sabbath... but ozzy's band is never gonna be able to pull off KC's solo and improvisational bit thats for sure...

as promised earlier, heres another bit from "Myths Of The World"... its the Gnostic Christian version of creationism... This was how it originally was in the bible till Constantine came along and "modified" the whole religion into what we have now... christianity was actually a very pagan religion till this reformation that took place somewhere aroung the 4th century (?? im not too sure of the date but you get the picture)... the king ordered the destruction and burning of all the temples and literature that was the culture of christianity and he ordered that all of it be replaced with the more streamlined, anti-pagan version that he and his advisors had come up with... all the kings men went on a blitzkrieg rampage throughout all of the christian lands and obeyed the kings orders (thats why it is so hard to come up with evidence of pre-constantine christianity)... plus they forcefully converted all the pagans into christians... ever since most of the human race has been forced into believing that all evil on this realm was caused due to the feminine half of our society... take for example the banishment of adam and eve... the bible claims that they were thrown out of eden because eve ate and convinced adam to eat the apple from the tree of life... mary magdalene was a prostitute in the bible... all high positions in the christian faith is unattainable by the weaker sex (so unlike the tarot card it is impossible for us to have a female pope)... ever since, sex has been copnsidered evil and unholy and not as a miracle that it is... it is the creation of life through the merging of two individuals... its not some kind of evil thing... we with all our technology still cannot create life as efficiantly as Gaia... We have disgraced Mother Earth...

On The Origin Of The World

Culture Of Origin: Gnostic Christian

Provenance: the text is contained in tractates II,5 and XIII,2 of the twelve codices discovered in 1945 at Nag Hammadi in Upper Egypt, where they were buried circa 400 AD [Coptic Museum, Cairo]. The manuscript, written in Coptic, is considered to be a translation from an earlier Greek work. It utilizes various traditions, only some of which are Gnostic. Fragments of the myth are known from a separate Coptic manuscript source. Authorship is unknown and the title has been assigned in modern times. The work may have been designed to attract devotees to a particular brand of ideas in Gnostic cosmogony. The writer provides a brief didactic preface, indicating that he is about to explain the origin of Chaos.

Among the immortal beings, Pistis (faith) engenders a likeness of herself, Sophia (wisdom), which appears as the primordial light acting as a veil to separate the cosmos from that which lies beyond. Outside the eternal realm of light is a force, the limitless Chaos, described as a shadow which rules over a dark abyss containing the primordial waters. The shadow realizes that something mightier than itself (Pistis) exists, so it engenders from itself another force, jealousy, like an aborted child without a spirit.

Pistis is disturbed at these developments, but she decides that to control the spiritless thing she must give it substance. She makes it as a likeness of herself and she sets it to rule over matter as the primordial authority which she calls Yaldabaoth. It, however, now seems to recognize Pistis only as a reflection of its own omnipotence and assumes it is truly alone. It creates heaven and earth from the waters and then engenders the seven authorities, androgynous clones of itself, to rule over seven heavens of Chaos.

When Pistis/Sophia sees how arrogant Yaldabaoth has become she reveals herself in the light and chides him, calling him Samael (Blind God). Sabaoth, one of the seven androgynous offspring, perceives the evil in his father and turns to Pistis/Sophia. In reward for his loyalty to her she elevates him to champion new forces which have become ranged against Chaos. There follows a cosmic war in which Sabaoth, with forces of archangels, triumphs and is set to rule over Chaos from a new position of power in the seventh heaven. Pistis also sends her daughter Zoe (life) to teach him of the eighth and highest heaven.

Sabaoth builds a palace containing a great throne and creates a multitude of lesser gods (angels). Pistis/Sophia sets Sabaoth on her right (justice) and Yaldabaoth on her left (evil). Yaldaboath, who is also the embodiment of jealousy, is angry that his son has greater authority than he, so he engenders Death and sets it to rule over the sixth heaven. But he becomes ashamed when he perceives the great light and finally realizes Pistis/Sophia's immense power.

At this juncture another androgynous being appears, Eros, who introduces sexuality to the cosmos. Two trees, a fig and a pomegranate (the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge) spring up on earth, followed by all the other vegetation as Sabaoth creates Paradise. Sophia, on her part, makes the stars of heaven and six more eternal realms are formed: ruled by archangels, these are better than the heavens of Chaos ruled by the cloned authorities of Yaldabaoth.

Zoe is instructed to fashion human life on earth, so she creates an immortal being in the likeness of her mother, calling her Eve. To counter this development the authorities of Chaos now cast their semen on the earth and fashion a man, Adam, but he has no spirit, so they abandon him. Eve, however, breathes life into him and commands him to come alive. The authorities are now deeply concerned because they have become aware that Eve is identical to the force which first appeared to Yaldabaoth in the light. They plan, therefore, to impregnate Eve, defiling her immortality, so that she can no longer return to the light. They will then make Adam sleep and give him the impression that Eve has been formed from his rib. But Eve is not to be outdone. She makes a mortal likeness of herself, leaves it beside Adam and merges her true self forever with the Tree of Knowledge.

Recognizing the power of Pistis/Sophia, the authorities become distraught, but when they recover their senses they are deluded into the belief that the mortal replica is actually the immortal Eve, so they impregnate her through the agency of Adam. As Adam and Eve mate the authorities watch with satisfaction, fondly imagining that the offspring are their own likeness lacking in knowledge and thus ready to serve with blind obedience. But they come to realize the truth and know that real danger still lies in the immortal Eve should she impart her knowledge to the pair. They instruct Adam and Eve to eat the fruit of any of the trees in Paradise except that of the Tree of Knowledge. The couple are told that if they consume its fruit they will die.

Adam and Eve are persuaded to eat of the Tree of Knowledge by 'the wisest of creatures', the instructor, and thus they gain knowledge and, with it, a sober awareness of their own mortality. Too late the authorities discover that Adam has become like themselves, understanding the difference between light and darkness. All that they can do is impotently curse the instructor, the woman, the man, their offspring and the land itself. They are, however, further alarmed that in his new state of awareness Adam may eat the fruit of the Tree of Life, become immortal and denounce them. So they throw the pair out of Paradise and set their terrifying guardians, the cherubim, around the Tree of Life.

Sophia is enraged when she discovers what the authorities have done and she chases them from the heavens of Chaos, hurling them to earth, where they can exist only as demons. But still their powers continue as they create a retinue of spirits to lead mankind into evil ways.

The epic creation myth ends with a series of homilies on the future course of the errant human race as it steers towards the final apocalypse.

Do you want to know the strangest thing?... King Constantine was a devout pagan till he was old and weak... too weak to protest when his advisors converted him to christianity on his deathbed.

PS: If anybody wants a copy of "Myths of the World" i have it as a .txt file (737 KB)... all you have to do is email me here...

peacerespectempathy

No wonder we guys call them CHICKS!!

sound : cradle of filth - nymphetamine

A myth from New Guinea

At the beginning of the world, before mankind has been engendered, some cassowary birds arrive at the edge of a lake called Tuumbamuuta, where they discard their feathers and take the form of naked women who begin to bathe. One of the gods who is passing by watches the scene and notices that the last of the birds to enter the water is particularly beautiful when it discards its feathers; so, quietly, he steals her garment. When she emerges from the water she cannot find her feathers and she is left behind when the other cassowaries leave at dusk. The god comes out of his hiding place and tries to perform intercourse with the womanly form but, since she is in reality a bird, she has no vagina. She sits upon a rock, however, which cuts her open and she menstruates for the first time, after which the god has intercourse with her and she bears many children, the progenitors of the human race.

peacerespectempathy

Despair

Despair by Alex Grey.

[this was a test]

R.I.P. SUPERMAN

sound : John Lennon – Imagine (acoustic)

Christopher Reeves died yesterday… may his soul rest forever in a plane of spiritual mobility… a great man… when I was a child he inspired me to run around the house with a bed-sheet tied around my neck and wearing my undies over my pants… those days he was my idol… plus all the causes he stood up for… a true hero… a real life superman…

peacerespectempathy

Non-human

sound : Jeff Buckley – Hallelujah

I’m in one of those moods again… I can’t seem to get myself back on my feet no matter how hard I try… I haven’t had a proper conversation in days… I speak in mono-syllables to my folks and I feel nauseous all the time… my days drag on and on and the nights go on forever… I’m bored and lonely… I wish I had someone to talk to right now… how pathetic huh? I don’t have anybody to talk to… me… I never used to be the most popular guy or anything but I’ve never ever felt lonely… I know I’m surrounded by people but I still feel so damn lonely… empty actually… I feel like I have nothing… I don’t feel like I belong… I don’t feel anymore… I feel numb… stone-cold and numb… this is sick… I can’t type anymore…

peacerespectempathy

"The spiderman is having me for dinner tonight"

sound : the cure - lullaby

i have nothing to say... i want to type out something but i have nothing to say... why is it that when we live surrounded by so much beauty and hate and anger and love that we feel totally speechless sometimes?... agreed its easy to rant but how often does your mouth actually churn out something of even slight importance?... why do we all not make our mark(s) in society?... what exactly is society?... why do we have to adhere to all the rules of society when we know that our society is flawed and degenerate?... what is it that gives us our sense of belonging even if we know deep down inside that we do not belong?... why do we add fake pleasantries into our conversations even if you feel like beating the other person's face into a mushy pulp?... why bother with ettiquette when you feel happiest belching out loud?... and why on earth does god have to bless you after you sneeze?...

"Be still be calm be quiet now my precious boy
Don't struggle like that or I will only love you
For it's much too late to get away or turn on the light
The spiderman is having you for dinner tonight"

peacerespectempathy

A reading from the blog of The Scarred Philosopher, entry number 89...

sound : velvet revolver - fall to pieces

-==Fall To Pieces==-

It's been a long year
Since you've been gone
I've been alone here
I've grown old
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

I keep a journal of memories
I'm feeling lonely, I can't breathe
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

All the years I've tried
With more to go
Will the memories die
I'm waiting
Will I find you
Can I find you
We're falling down
I'm falling...

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

do you know how much this sucks?... i type out this huge entry and just before i press the publish button the pc crashes... how the fuck am i gonna type out the whole thing again?... i can really relate to this song... i really feel like im falling at times... i just wish i can get back up like how scott weiland has....

went to Jarir to get my books for GRE and to hopefully ogle at the iPOD......... the iPOD was already sold out and they were waiting for the next shipment... about the books for the exam... i didnt get any... though i'd do some more research and see which book i would be better off with... plus since i had some cash i thought i'd get myself some books to read... i wasnt in the mood for novels so i thought i'd get myself something good... i had planned on getting myself Plato's "The Republic" and Jean Baudrillard's "Simulacra and Simulations"... i asked the guy at the counter and i had to help him type simulacra... when you work in a bookstore and especially if you are planning to stay at the book section you have to have a wide range of words in your vocabulary... forget it if you're a douche-bag... well it turns out both books are not available here... most probably banned... just like most other things that help improve your brain... what the fuck is wrong with these people?... why ban any and everything that does not swing to the off-beat tune of religion?... their religion, our religion, my religion whats the difference?... im a good person who follows the rules of your country... i wear clothes before i get out of the house, i do not go around killing people, i do not proclaim myself as being superior (i just pick on and stress on the manners of all those i see), i follow the rules... all i ask for are a few books and some small freedoms...

these jokers have a compulsive disorder... obsessive, compulsive banning... anything new is banned be it technology, literatureor fashion... anything... its all banned... what do they achive by banning something?... absolutely nothing... all banned objects thrive on the black market... you get the latest movies the week after its premier... anything... people sell tons of porn... ganja and hashish are available in every corner of the city... booze is all over the place... ehats the use of banning everything huh?... when camera enabled mobile fones first came out there was this big hue and cry saying that according to the rules of islam photography is haram (un-holy) and that the fones should be banned... the muttawa squad went on overdrive and started confiscationg the before mentioned fones... customs officials confiscated (and presumably kept the fones for themselves)... women started beating each other up if their photographs were taken at weddings... the whole country goes to a state of total chaos just because the camera fone is not mentioned in the qoran... so what if its not mentioned in your holy books?... these books were written more than a millenia (1400 yrs ago to be precise) ago... how the fuck were those people supposed to know what kind of rules they should apply to camera fones?... the thing was being sold like crazy on the black market... plus each and everry new model has a camera on it... what did these morons think they were gonna do?.. bann all new fones in the country?.. last week they un-banned camera fones saying that it was legal if "used morally"... let me give you another fine example of their idioticism... satellite dishes... as of last week they are still officially banned in this country... they claimed that it was a mean for the "zionist devils to propogate their evil" into their pious hearts... now how dumb can you get?... anything slightly intimidating to these retards instantly become "servants of satan" or "the works of the pagans/zionists/christians/hindus" or even "the devil in disguise"... how fucked up and insecure can you get?...

i really dont get all this hype that every religion has on their holy books... agreed the stories are kinda fun to read (moses rules!!)... but hey... they were all written by people... not god... people... and if you truly believe that god wrote your holy books then stop reading my blog and go somewhere else... i dont care how many of you get insulted by my entry today, im just putting forth my beliefs into a medium of free speech... think about it... all of it (the bible, the qoran, the gita, all of it) were written by people... some guy wrote your holy book dude... do you get the message?... what if they're just some story that somebody wrote for entertainment and after all these years the truth is lost to us... we as humans would be the biggest fools in the universe... imagine this... in another two thousand years i believe that if we as humans do not start to think as a species we'd have new religions like "Potterism" (that already exists doesnt it?) and "Ringians"... lets take "Potterism"... they worship harry... an orphaned being with magical powers who eventually defeats the evil that plagues his world... how much more perfect can it get?... theres tragidy (him being orphaned), magical powers, and maybe even martyrdom (thats only if the rumors are true)... an ideal candidate for leading a religion... all he has to do now is to get hermione to was his feet and dry it off with her hair... heh heh heh... now the "Ringians"... they worship the weakest of the underdogs (Frodo) who sets out against all odds to vanquish evil and destroy the root of all evils along with his friends (disciples?)... all rise... a reading from the third book of jk rowling, the prisoner of azkaban, chapter 16, lines 43 to 117.... heh heh heh... pardon me while i fall out of my chair laughing at the most ultimate sign of human gullibility and stupidity - religion... heh heh heh... dumbasses.....

peacerespectempathy