Merry Christmas you filthy animals...

... and a happy new year!

This one goes out to all my homies... the homies who are here, the homies who are gone, the homies who just left, the inebriated homies, the homes with one foot and the homies who are castrated, the homies i love and the homies i love even more, the homies who have homies and the homies who don't have homies, the homies that make me smile and the homies that smile at the homies that make me smile, the homies in the down-low and the homies up high, the cloud worshipping homies and the porcelein worshipping homies, the homies who've just had enough and the homies who want more, the homies with the breasticles and the homies with the testicles, the homies with the spectacles and the homies without breasticles, testicles or spectacles, the homies who sing and the homies that scream, the homies that play and the homies that get played, the homies that fart and the homies that shart, the homies that are fighting at the war and the homies fighting the war, the homies that are old and the homies that are young, the homies that love gold and the homies that love the things that fold, the homies that jingle and the homies that jangle, the homies with rings on their fings and the homies chains around their necks, the homies that spit into a mic and the homies that spit at a mic, the homies with magic fingers and the homies with magic feet, the homies with the hommettes and the hommettes with the homies, the homies who are my friends and the homies who aren't my friends, the homies who love me and the homies that hate me, the homies that make my day and the homies that complete my day.

Arts, farts and sharts bitches!

Carpe Diem.

peace, LOVE and empathy

- Avi

emo blog # 647

sound: Pick Me Up - Dinosaur Jr.

Dinosaur Jr is coming to orlando next weekend... i wish i could go...

where do i start?... life? money? connections? school?.... nothing seems to be working out how i planned....

as a child i had always imagined myself at twenty three either as a voice actor for a cartoon show on tv or something cool like a rockstar or something... look at me now.... bah....

christmas is coming up, with no money in hand this "holiday" feels like hell.... i hate christmas.. i have no "spirit"... why bother with celebrating the fake birthday of a god-figure in whom i do not believe anyway?....

j.mascis, save me with your riffage!

i end here.... this is turning out to be an exercise in futility.....

Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

- Baz Luhrmann

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99...

Wear Sunscreen

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You're not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind…the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time it's 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

"Boney was a Warrior"

CAST:
Filliburton - A homeless man who believes he is a pirate. He was once a lawyer.
Jo - Your typical long frizzy haired, metal band tee wearing teenager.
Rollin - A dread-locked, grill wearing, drug addicted thug. A true "gangsta".
Ciaran - A quiet, introverted violinist.

(It is a rather small elevator in a government building. We do not know where or what building it is, we just know it is a government building. A metal box, buttons on the inside, a five person limit; it is your typical claustrophobia inducing elevator.)

(Enter Filliburton)

Fill. Aar to find me ship I gots to go up, into the sky in a little metal box! Which number shall I press? (Closes his eyes and randomly hits a button, the button for floor 57 lights up)

Fill. Whoa thar! This box be moving faster than I hoped!

(Filliburton watches the numbers light up one by one. The elevator stops, the light is at 7, the door opens and we see Jo standing outside scratching his head)

Jo. Going up bro?

Fill. I be going up lad, hop on in!

(Jo enters and stands beside Filliburton; he presses the button for the thirty second floor)

Jo. So, bro... What are you doing here, man?

Fill. To find me ship lad. It be at the top o' this tower.

Jo. Righteous man, I'm here to see The Man. He owes me a favor.

(The elevator stops. It is the eighteenth floor. In walks Rollin, His jewelry making a clinking sound with every step. He looks at Filliburton and Jo and then without a word, he presses a button (floor 63) and stands beside Jo)

Jo. Dude, nice bling man!

Fill. Aar! You got more booty aroun' yer neck than I gots in me treasure chest.

Rollin. (Dismissively) Hmm... Yeah...

(They go up in silence. Rollin looks around at the other two people and decides to stare nonchalantly at the door of the elevator)

Jo. (To Rollin) Are you here to see The Man?

Rollin. No, I’m here for business...

Jo. True, true....

Fill. Beware the wind me mates! She be the finest lady one moment and then a nasty wench the other! I remember back when I was the captain of the Purple Maze with a parrot on me shoulder, I traveled the seven seas with me crew. They were the finest bunch of barnacle-bearded seamen mine eyes have ever witnessed...

Jo. (In endless delight) Dude, you said SEAMEN!

Rollin. (To himself) Wow, what a bunch of retards...

(The elevator stops again, it is now at the 21stth floor. Enter Ciaran carrying a violin case and a folder with staff paper in it)

Ciaran. (To no one in particular) going up.

(He presses the button for the 59th floor and moves into one of the corners of the elevator)

Fill. Ahoy lad, play your fiddle for us if you will...

Ciaran. I'm sorry sir; I am not prepared to perform right now.

Jo. Come on man, play for us. Bury us in your musical excellence.

Ciaran. No.

Jo. Why not? Do you think you're better than us dude?

Ciaran. Not really.

Jo. So what? Why wont you...

Rollin. (Cutting in) Leave him alone. He doesn't want to play right now.

Ciaran. (To Rollin) Thank you.

(Rollin nods in acknowledgement)

(The elevator jolts to a stop between the 24th and the 25th floor. The lights blink for a second and an alarm starts ringing)

(RIIIIIIIING!...)

Rollin. What the fuck?!?!

Jo. Whoa!

Fill. The ship is struck! Man the turrets! Arm yerselves scallywags!...

Ciaran. Calm down everybody. It's just a small problem. Somebody will come to help us within a few minutes.

(RIIIIIIIING!...)

Rollin. And how are you so sure of this?

Jo. (To Rollin) He's right bro, somebody has to come in a few minutes.

Rollin. They better. I don't have the time to be stuck in this damn elevator!

(RIIIIIIIING!...)

Jo. (Trying to change the flow of conversation, to Ciaran) So dude, what are you upto man? What brings you to these parts.

Ciaran. Business.

Jo. That’s cool man. I guess you like to hold on to your privacy. I'm here to see The Man. He owes me a favor.

Rollin. (To Jo) Does this "The Man" have a name?

Jo. He's The Man man. I guess that's his name.

(RIIIIIIIING!...)

Rollin. (Getting agitated) That can't be his name!

Fill. I once knew a man with no name.

Rollin. Oh shut up!

Fill. We called him Boney. Boney was a warrior/A warrior and a Terrior.

Rollin. Oh good lord...

Fill. Boney fought the Russians/The Russians and the Prussians.

(RIIIIIIIING!...)

Rollin. Stop it!

Jo. Let him sing dude, I like it.

Fill. Moscow was a-blazing/And Boney was a-raging.

Rollin. You like that? That sounds like shit to me.

Fill. Boney went to Elba/Boney he came back again.

(RIIIIIIIING!...)

Jo. What's shit to you is good music to me.

Fill. Boney went to Waterloo/There he got his overthrow.

(Ciaran watches on as Jo and Rollin continue to argue over Filliburton's singing)

Rollin. (to Ciaran) Whatchu lookin' at?

Fill. Then they took him off again/Aboard the Billy Ruffian.

Ciaran. (Looks down) Nothing.

(RIIIIIIIING!...)

Jo. Don't be pushing the little dude, he didn't do anything to you.

Fill. He went to Saint Helena/There he was a prisoner.

Rollin. (to Filliburton) What the fuck is wrong with you man? Stop singing!

Fill. Boney broke his heart and died/Away in Saint Helena.

Jo. Leave the poor dude alone, he's not well...

Fill. Give her the t'gan's'ls/It's a weary way to Baltimore.

Rollin. One more line and I'm gonna....

Fill. Drive her, Cap'n, drive her/and bust the chafing leather.

(RIIIIIIIING!...)

Rollin. That’s it! (moving towards Filliburton) I'm going to kick his ass!

Jo. (Steps between them) Stop!

Fill. (To Rollin) I'll skewer yer gizzards you lily-livered bastard!

(You hear three gunshots. Filliburton, Jo and Rollin are on the floor in a pool of blood. Ciaran is still in the corner, his violin case open on the floor beside him, a gun in his hand. The alarm is still ringing.)

(RIIIIIIIING!...)

Ciaran. Assholes...

Ava Koertig

Her many facial piercings catch your eyes. All sparkling and pretty, all gold and diamonds, all over her face. Piercings on the bridge of her nose, her nostrils, her tongue, on her lips, on her ears, on her cheeks, on her eyebrows; all of which have least one diamond on them. Her almond shaped eyes are black, like the darkest nights of winter. Chocolate skin of perfect texture, hair in a huge ‘fro, long silver nails. Her clothing was a mixture of funky, grindhouse chic and Janis Joplin on acid. Her platforms were at least six inches tall. She wore an eye-patch (not unlike a pirate) over her left eye. Her perfect features combined with her formidable height (thanks to those custom made platforms) and the facial perforations made her quite a formidable figure.

Ava Koertig was raised in a small town in central Germany called Niestetal. She was adopted by a rabbi who lived there and was brought up in the Jewish tradition. At age sixteen she kissed her sleeping step-mother on the cheek, left a note on her step-father’s table and left to travel the world. Ava traveled far and wide; two years later, she was married for forty three days and sixteen hours to a certain James David from Sydney, Australia. The ceremony took place in Tampa, Florida on a golf course owned by a prominent lawyer with a 1-800 number. Her trail vanishes after that for seven years and then all of a sudden she reappears at her adoptive parents’ doorstep with three missing toes, a glass eye, a face full of piercings and approximately seventy four million American dollars in various Swiss accounts. Nobody knows what occurred in those seven years that Ava disappeared.

----------------
noise: Pelican - Pink Mammoth

Yoshima

The first thing you notice is the long flowing hair. Like The rays of the sun, a beautiful light golden color, you could even call it silver colored. It cascades down his back like a curtain of silk. He looks at you with pink eyes. He squints so much that his eyes look like slits under his almost nonexistent eye-brows. It is not that he does not have eye-brows, it just looks that way because of the fact that all the hair on his body is almost translucent. He is extraordinarily tall; much more than most people of his land, he stood over a head taller than the head monk at the monastery. His skin was pale; almost translucent like his hair. One could see almost every vein and nerve in his body if they looked hard enough. He was a man with albinism.

He was known as Yoshima. Nobody knew his real name; he was found as a baby on the monastery's doorstep almost twenty eight seasons ago. The monks took him in and raised him as their own and as a child of god. He was considered as being holy by the villagers because of how he looked. The people of the land used to come from far and wide to just see him and kneel before his presence. Yoshima hated this. He did not want to be worshipped or treated like an angel. He wanted to be "normal". Every night, lying in bed after his nightly meditation, he would imagine how he would live his life if he were "normal". But it was not to be, Yoshima did not know the ways of the world outside of his monastery. He believed that his body was the reason for his life being the way it was, and for this he hated his body and himself.

----------------
noise: Air - One Hell of a Party

White Raggae Troll

Awesome live video from Pitchfork 2006!

Heard Somebody Say

"I heard somebody say the war ended today,
but everybody knows it's going still..."

Colorado Girl

One of Devendra Banhart's more obscure covers... "Colorado Girl" originally performed by Townes Van Zand...

21 days of Devendra

sound : Cristobal - Devendra Banhart (from "Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon")

alright people.... devendra banhart's new album "smokey rolls down thunder canyon" comes out september 25th (i am listening to the leak as we speak... don't worry, i support the artists i love... i have pre-ordered the special edition version of the album even though i have no money :P).... thats exactly 3 weeks from today....

just because i totally worship the man and have nothing better to do with myself i am going to be posting a video a day (as much as possible) of / about / for devendra from youtube and such....

alright, lets go...

"Sight to Behold", Live in Poland

"I weep for the future!"

Choking on Air (Whine On You Crazy Diamond!)

sound : "One Hell Of A Party" - Air (from the album "Pocket Symphony")

waking up from this long slumber i realize many things of which you don't even have to bother... realizations of truth, realizations of my own personal failures... the lack of the greens... the need of the greens... blood, sweat and tears to no avail.... slavery of the mind....

remember when we played?... remember the time of our lives when the only problems we had were of school and play?... knee-deep, treading through a swamp i find monstrous being which hold me back... i fight, i plead, i cry.... routine sets in.... one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year..... where am i now?... right back where i started....

remember me?... oh well, whatever.....

time period to time period i move/crawl along... worm-like and slow... the cycle rips me... the cycle tears me up..... i need change.... improvement....

help me... help me....

Please do not follow where I am leading
Someone must clear these things away
Here in the burnt out husk of the morning
Strung out with nothing left to say

Yeah this was one hell of a party
Nobody ever got to bed
But the morning after's killing me
And I have to rest my head

And just where were we trying to get to
I can't recall one single word
And the faces that pushed themselves before you
Congeal into one, nothing transferred

This was one hell of a party
And it's still living in my head
But the morning after shines so cold
So follow where I live

This was one hell of a party
Nobody got to go to bed
Let's face it now, it's over
But this morning after's killing me

Æmen

smear

sound : Etna - sunn O))) & Boris

I've finally done it... it's true that i had waited for way too long.... but I've finally done it.....

everybody said it wouldn't be all too bad... but it was..... i should calm down, stop stressing.... bah!.... the truth is, it went just as bad as i had expected it to go without knowing what was going to happen (if that makes any sense at all).....

she was silent.... god alone knows what was in her mind but she was silent.... surprising to say the least.... it is an ominous sign... an explosion is to be expected.... maybe not tomorrow or the day after.... but one of these days.... and then emotions shall flow like water....crashing down on my head... my poor fucking head....

he wasn't silent... i never expected him to be..... "have you thought about this?".... "are you serious?".... why should i be like everybody else?.... "you don't even have enough money to pay for insurance!".... what is my place in this?.... "this is not how our culture is!"... culture?... what culture?... I'm an earth-child... fuck culture!...

my culture never dictated that i should bear the unbearable.... not once has it claimed that i should should suffer through the nonsensically proud and the peacefully vicious... not to mention the fact that they are all so bloody stuck-up.... the vagina-bearers that is....

where is my place on this ball?.... i am not truly from the I... nor am i from the A.... and i surely ain't from the U... but i must find a center point... some place where i can claim stake to my "place".....

it's a pain being a confused vagabond of political boundaries...

"The hammer of the gods,
Will guide our ships to new lands..."

Æmen

A walk through downtown Tampa.

i am not a bird!

sound : Rising 06.06.06 - Lustmord

awake.... i dream daily, non-stop, forever.... i need release.... so much i want to do... so much to say... so much to accomplish.... i have no motivation, no confidence.... i feel numb...

it's not so much of me not having things to do... it's more because i have to "do".... thats the thing... i feel like i have sold out..... i have a routine to follow... i can't just up and leave if i want to.... i have bills to pay, commitments to fulfill.... i am not a bird.... i am not a bird!....

perhaps the secret to finding my joy in things is the hermits' way.... maybe i should let go of all things materialistic and join an ashram.... meditate on a single idea for a few years... maybe then i'll understand what's going on with the universe (as i know it)....

unenthused i leave you now.... adieu...

Helena

- Misfits

If I cut off your arms and cut off your legs
Would you still love me anyway?
If you're bound and you're gagged, draped and displayed
Would you still love me anyway?

Why don't you love me anyway?
Why don't you love me anyway?

If I cut off your arms and cut off your legs
Would you still love me anyway?
If you're bound and you're gagged, draped and displayed
Would you still love me anyway?

Why don't you love me anyway?
Why don't you love me anyway?
Why don't you love me anyway?
Why don't you love me anyway?

Cutting with the knife, blood is spilling everywhere
She will be my wife,
Secondary spine.
Incisions must be accurate,
I know just what to do.
My hands are trembling,
I can't spare to slip up with this knife!

Her beauty so illogical,
The beast come gliding in.
Hideous chameleon stripped down to her skin.
Dance to the burning flame,
Pleasure exhumes the pain.
The night bursts into flame!

Dance Helena!... Dance!

If I cut off your arms and cut off your legs
Would you still love me anyway?
There's a spot on the floor where your limbs used to be
And I close the door on my fantasies...

Why don't you love me anyway?
Why don't you love me anyway?
Why don't you love me anyway?
Why don't you love me anyway?...

"Holy gray beard of Zeus, Batman!"

sound : Hooker With a Penis - TOOL

my cold bleak day has been transformed by on awesome piece of news..... TOOL are coming to Tampa, FL!!!.... how fyucking orgasmic is that?!?!?!.....

my original plan was to blog on how sad my life is with bills, a job that sucks ass, stress and exhaustion but im wat too happy after hearing that.... so screw it.....

TOOL'S COMING TO TAMPA!!!.... TOOL'S COMING TO TOWN!!!.... I'M GOING TO SEE TOOL!!!!

OH MY FUCK!

everlution

sound : Three Frog Song - CIO

today, my friend lory read my palm for me.... the strange thing is, i already knew most of what she said.... i know palmistry is not a perfect science or anything but of late i have been more in tune with the metaphysical and the arcane than i used to be.... my reading is finally improving and i think i have finally gotten the drive to start playing guitar again....

maybe, just maybe, i am changing...

viva change!

Bill Clinton Rips Chris Wallace a New One (3 Parts)

comatose

sound : The Beginning And the End - Isis

comatose..... my brain is comatose.... my creative processes are at a hiatus..... my body doesn't want to sleep anymore....

but i better sleep...

I (kinda) look like Rick James bitch!

http://www.myheritage.com

plus, i'm showing off my new haircut....

Want vs. Need

sound : Girls' Night Out - The Knife

choice vs need... want vs need..... choices everywhere drive me nuts.... do i do this?... do i eat that?.... can i finish this?.....

State University of New York

it's not like i can afford it or anything....the course they offer is perfect....P-E-R-F-E-C-T!.... but the problem is... can i leave here?.... can i not be here?.... will i be able to leave everything behind and pursue my dream?.... can i leave family, friends and even her behind?....

its new york!

aaah.... i need time to think....

trapped brain-sperm

sound : Bitches Brew - Miles Davis

i'm on a roll.... my muzzle is greying, my eyes are crinkly..... yup, i'm on a roll...

time takes it's toll... today becomes yesterday and tomorrow becomes today..... yup, time takes it's toll....

i need more.... more fun, more life, more money, more time.... yup, i need more....

gimme faith and i will break you.... i witnessed the de-evolution of a couple of hundred people today....the sight left me with a bitter taste in my mouth.... one of the de-evolvers accosted me outside of their laboratory and tried to befriend me.... i gave him the cold shoulder.... that bastard!.....

change is coming..... a new period.... many changes... the wheels are turning and the body finally agrees to follow the will.... maybe now "the happy"-ness will come home and stay home along with his brethren.....

why the cryptic message?... who knows.... maybe i feel like toying with you.... maybe, just maybe, i'm being nice to you by not letting you into my mind....

my mind is a bad, bad place...... trust me on that.....

"The lunatic is on the grass."

sound : Lovesong - Voltaire

drowning in drudgery, a perfect mood for the man-bitch....

spoken-art running through my head i sit, i sit, in shock and a little bit of awe at the fact that so many talents are wasted in this pursuit of the green-back bastards.... washington, jefferson, they're all cock-smocking bastards!

Aaah yesh, Xasthur..... beautiful fuzz and growl... yes, yes, yes....

maybe i am a lunatic... why is it that this happens everymonth around the time of the full moon?.... is it my way of compensating for not having a menstrual cycle.....

"here you go," says god-dude, "your own monthly cycle. every month you will be in a fowl mood. i call it man's menstrual cycle!"....

sadistic humor be my mana.... self depreciative mirth be my key.... i love myself as much as i like you.....

hmm.... to sleep would be ideal right about now.... but, i don't know....