[insert title here]

Listening to : Seether feat. Amy Lee - Broken

t left today.... i know im being kinda selfish here but thats kinda shitty.... lets get to that later.... weeks been kinda eventful actually... never got to actually penning down an entry though... my mp3 player still fucked up... no progress there anyway (kinda like my life aint it?... all goes well excepting for tiny blemishes and KA-BLAAAMMO!!! its over in a sec...hmm...) my pc's been bitching a lot... sometimes when i switch it on the bios does not locate the harddisks... ill have to hard boot it all over again.... hard boot; does anybody even have to use that term anymore or am i the only one?... plus the pc wouldnt open musicmatch for the past 4 days... imagine... i wanna listen to some music and the pc hangs... then i gotta restart and i try again and POOF!... again.... fuck!!... but today... hmm... maybe its a so-called "good day" huh?... musicmatch started working again... but truly... im giving the pc two months tops... i aint guaranteeing anything more than that... after that or maybe even before... the things gonna die... my moods been horrible the whole week... now theres just aj whos left.... and i dont get to see her all too much cos shes real busy in school and stuff... its wierd.... first arun left... then i get to know neet for like a week and she leaves... t left today... i aint in contact with any of my friends in school... i never make any new friends cos i find ppl too shallow... well, most of em anyway... past two days ive been goin with mama to help out the HOPE stall at "le mall" (i swear... that must be the corniest name for a mall ever).... its like a disabled kids week and all the major schools have stalls there... so im goin there at 5 in the evening and im doin free face-paintings on kids til 9 or 9:30... its real tiring but hey its fun... its not just the disabled kids there are normal kids too... but the only downside to this is that i gotta comb and tie my hair cos mama says i might scare the kids otherwise... plus the place is crawling with ladies and (not forgetting this is saudi arabia) they might get scared of me too... the foirst day i musta easily done a 100 or more... and today - something like 80 or 90 kids... but its real tiring cos i have to bend and do the painting even when im sitting... we spoke to this brit woman while mama was doin her baby and she says all the westerners are scared to even get out of their houses... its really sad... she says they came to the mall today cos her kids were getting real bored at home... stupid terrorist mother fuckers.... look at the place... its all screwed up because of them... oh yeah... saw a girl today... ok i didnt technically see her but i met her... she volunteered at the stall today cos none of the teachers came today.... names shehreb or something like that (i meet one good person and i dont remember their name... how sad am i?... but she had a tough name though)... i didnt bother talking to her at first cos she was like all covered up... and i mean all... you can just see that she has a face through this translucent cloth shes worn like a burkha... i usually move away from girls like that cos, i dunno... ive never personally known anybody who'd walk around like that.... well... we started talking cos she was fascinated about my name... didnt know i was x-tian with my name being sanskrit and all... got to talking with her (it was still wierd though... i couldnt see her eyes...) i find out her moms an american and her dads a saudi... shes studying in the university and shes doin english.... she wants to do special ed but the course is not available in jeddah.. wants to do her doctorate in english and then do special ed somewhere else... we got to how this place sucks and why im stuck here and stuff and she says she'll call me during the vacations and i could go out with her and her friends during their vacations... i said what any other self respecting human would do... i said yes... but right now im having my doubts over this... would other ppl want to hang with me being broke and a drop out?... like this girl and her friends are all big $$$$ crowd folks... do ya think they would really like to have a doofus like me with them?... but on the way out, gina (the person she came with, the owner of another institution here for the visually impaired) told me that she told her and that it was an awesome idea and that i should go with them... well i guess ill be goin then... the girl seemed kinda nice though... hmm... still feeling kinda wierd cos t left... i swear it is wierd... all my life i saw her as a part of jeddah... whenever i came home for my vacations she was there... trust me... things ore gonna get worse cos aj has her boards this year and she'll be real busy and stuff... i feel lonely already...