Feeling : depressed
Listening to : nothing
i hate it all... everything sucks... i swear... i hate work... i hate coming back home evry night... i hate my bed... i hate everything... i dunno... cant put it all in words... feeling very depressed... hoping i would die in my sleep tonight... yea... that would be nice... and i wanna be cremated not burried... and my ashes should be thrown into the sea... atleast then ill travel the world... i usually dont like tellin ppl what i want... i made this big mistake by telling my folks i wanted an iPod and pedals for my guitar... they go ballistic saying im selfish and stuff...helloo... i didnt ask them to get it for me.... i just said that i wanted those things... i ask about getting a job here and they literally burst... im not saying i hate the workshop... its just that i work so hard from 8:30 in the morning till 12:30 in the afternoon and 4:30 till 8:30 at might....this is without pay.... so basically i end up dead-tired and lacking the time and will to do anything... i hardly go online, totally stopped reading... dont watch tv.... how could i?... im too fucking tired... i hardly have a life anymore... im too exhausted to do anything... they were like it would have been much better if i had graduated... so what if i passed... im not the one sitting and watching the propoganda driven bullshit on tv the whole day... and i go to work and end up fatigued and moneyless... why is my life so shitty... i dont even know why i do this anymore...i have nothing thats truly mine... my room im sharing with my brother... i dont even have privacy..... shit its 1:10 AM!!!... i gotta get up at seven.... man i cant even pen out a proper entry...fuck!
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