Listening to : apocalyptica - nothing else matters
i know i havent been posting much lately... but i havent even been online in a few days... skipped work (can you even call it that? "work"... i dont even get paid...) today... wasnt feeling too good... finally got to removing the x'mas tree and did that... frankly speaking, today was totally lame... now thats a really dumb word - lame... i had this wierd dream a few days back... i guess it takes place in the near future or something... im in india and i go to visit tina whos (surprise! surprise!) studying in my old school in ooty (The Laidlaw Memorial School and Junior College, a part of the St. Georges society)... like i go in there and i hi-five my old principal... man that was wierd coz hes like one of those old fashioned brit styled anglo-indian ppl... very intimidating character... i remember the first time i saw him... i was 10... with his huge professors cape and all - he looked like dracula... the guy is atleast 6'2"... anyway... its all sketchy... dont remember most of the dream (guess i should start writing my dreams every morning like t huh?...) i meet t and we were talkin and stuff and when i asked her if she wanted anything... she said she wanted a guitar... then i took her out of school and went to spencer's (thats a mall in chennai [madras]... ooty is like 500 kms away but hey... its my dream and i control everything :) ) and i get her this awesome black acoustic guitar from tansen (this cool indian guitar company)... i always wanted a black guitar... wonder why my subconscious wanted me to give it to her... then we hung out for a bit and then i took her back... this school in reality, wouldnt let you out even if your parents came over... it was that strict and here i am hi-fiving dracula and taking t out for a while and they let her back in like ppl do it everyday... i guess nobody has any idea what im talking bout heh heh heh... i want money... yesterday while goin for work i felt like robbing this dorky looking guy... wonder why it is that even though you know you could get into trouble that your mind forgets all consequences when your head is filled with greed... you want something so much that you have some way to justify the shitty thing that you're gonna do to get whatever it is that you want... me i could control myself... but maybe thats what thieves thrive on... maybe theyre just compulsive about getting what they want and they want it so bad that all other things are mentally blocked off such that their perspective of right and wrong is distorted to such a degree that they feel that they are doing the right thing... the COMDEX (its like this international techno exhibition) is coming to jeddah from the 14 to the 17th of march... im sure there will be iPODs available there (iPODs are sold out all over the arabian peninsula)... if only i had 2000 bucks (thats in saudi riyal.... thats somethin like $600) i cud surely get myself one... im broke... i got nothin... nada... zilch... and my job dont even pay whack... come to think of it... i shudda robbed that guy... he looked like the type whod earn like 10 grand a day or somethin... he was drivin around in a jag... i wouldnt be too greedy... id have just taken 200 bucks and left the rest... i never was too greedy for cash... i remember whenever i had cash i would go and bust it in one nice swoop... id treat my friends, get myself something... never kept anything coz i was happy with cash or broke... now i just need enough to get myself an iPOD... im not greedy...just 2000 bucks... fuck it!... im greedy!!! im fucking greedy for an iPOD!!! i swear im gonna get an iPOD even if its the last thing i do!!!
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