"Can Superman carry Lois Lane's baby?"

i saw this at the UG forum... it seemed so very screwed up that i had to quote it out here...

this was said by somebody named JHND4588 from Honolulu Hawai'i.......

and what was he/she thinking when he typed out the title?....

"Well I saw the movie Mallrats and it got me thinking "Can Lois Lane be the carrier of Superman's baby?" He's an alien. The only way he can do her is with a Kryptonite condum, but that might kill him. Not if he uses the red kryptonite, but that's a whole different story. By the time his sperm goes through her body it might feel like a bullet being shot in her. Even if she does carry his baby the baby can kick right through her if she gets a tan cause of our yellow sun. Only Wonder Woman has a womb that strong. Then I thougt of other superheros like spider-man. His whole physical body is made into a a human-spider. He can make little spider babies with Mary-Jane. His sperm might look like web shooting in her. Batman's lucky cause he's a human."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AKHIL!

moan # 5427

sound : Instinct Blues - The White Stripes

i wish i could go to pizza hut for the "all-you-can-eat" offer with my friends just one more time....

just one more time.....

please......

peacerespectempathy

www.vaccaro.ca

sound : light years - aldo vaccaro

anybody who loves music and doesn't check this stuff out is one A class SOB... seriously... this guy makes steve vai look like a baby.... check him out... aldo vaccaro is god.....

Aldo Vaccaro

peacerespectempathy

"Damn boy!... You got the prettiest eyes!"

sound : Who Are You - The Who

"a flower and a brillo please..."

"gimme a rose and a chore-boy.... thanks man...."

"umm... do you... like.. sell the rose-flower thing and the ... umm... brillo?..."

"hey there... the usual please...."

its funny how everything has changed... i feel totally at ease selling paraphernalia that boosts decadance... i sell lottery tickets and lotto numbers... i sell everything that is considered evil.... yes ladies and germs... i work in thomas uncle's store now... just so that i can learn the ropes.....

the shops located in a real tough neighbourhood on nebraska street... real tough... drug peddlers and crack whores galore... plus all the junkies you can even dream of... you get to meet everyone... the serious faced stoners... the happy crack-heads... the trash-talking trailer trash couple.... the hardcore bikers and possibly every other type of person imaginable....

remember in one of the previous posts i asked why i never met the interesting people... well, wish granted.... a huge (and i mean huge... she/he/it must be over 6 feet tall) black transvestite tells me, and i quote, "Damn boy!... You got the prettiest eyes!".... i was like... "thanks.... i think..."... and yesterday, this crack whore who just got out of the local pen in the morning tells me that i'm sexy... i guess she thought i had some cash on me...

there's this church across the road from the shop... a baptist church... so once in a whiule you get to see the "praise the lord" type of people.... one lady from the church comes and asks me what i use on my hair because she thought it looked real nice.... she said it looked like i just walked out of a salon.... this was at 5 in the evening... i had combed my hair at 7 in the morning before leaving for work... so people in india, "Set Wet" really works.... "very, very sexy"... heh heh heh....

there's this thing that we sell... its called a "rose"... it's a little plastic rose inside a small glass tube.... everybody knows that people who buy the rose remove the little flower and use the glass tube to snort coke.... then there's the usual things... the ball point pen used in the same way... all you gotta do is remove the refill and use it.... plus there's the brillo... a copper dish cleaning scrubber.... the junkies burn the coke and the scrubber and snort the stuff through the tube.... onto the next thing.... the phillies.... cigars.... cheap cigars... just 60 cents each.... they buy the phillies and remove the tobacco and roll them into joints.... yeah.... i'm working in heaven.... heh heh heh....

the day before yesterday this man came up and bought lottery tickets for US$ 225..... the poor bastard... he must have spent almost all his weekly earnings on the lottery....

about the place where we live... i really like it... after living in a big crouded city my whole life, this quite suburbian type of lifestyle really appeals to me... the only problems is that getting from A to B is a pain in the ass... everything is so far away.... for example, i'd have to get a car no matter what.... because getting to college would be near impossible for me otherwise.... the closest bus-stop is 2 miles away and then i'd have to travel for about a half hour to get to the nearest college from here.....

finally, i'm in a place where i feel thin... most people here are fatter than me so i dont feel all bloated up... heh heh heh....

we're still crashing in with thomas uncle because our flat isnt ready yet... they're like doing all the maintenance and repairs so it might take another 2 or 3 days.....

i went to church today.... the little kid sitting infront of me had a toy grenade in his pocket.... i couldn't help but smile everytime he pulled it out and made like he was throwing it at something....

florida's good... but like i told hammsa yesterday, there's something about jeddah that i miss.... i dunno what it is.... when i was there i hated the place but now i miss it... what is wrong with me?.... its just something... something makes me feel -

INCOMPLETE! [drops down to his knees and clutches his chest with his left hand while grotesquely twisting his face into a mask of extreme pain like his balls are being squeezed, then a wind comes up and blows leaves all about and he grabs a handfull of sand and throws it into the air, which inturn falls promptly into his eyes...]

heh heh heh....minto looks like a backstreet boy.... he looks like that kevin guy.... heh heh heh.... i cant stop making fun of him about that.... he's even got the beard.... heh heh heh....

so goodbye my dear munchkins... we shall meet at another time... the same place, another time and another circumstance.... ta ta.....

peacerespectempathy

PS: minto, akshay and i are gonna go and watch batman returns today.... we got free tickets!... bwa ha ha ha suckers!....

i own adnan sami's left hand

sound : neet's lesbo gang song from akhil's blog is playing in my head.... HALP!!

help me! help me mr munchkin man... im at thomas uncles house in florida... help me me munchkin man... i have so much to type and so less time... mr munchkin man, please make my fingers and my mind go faster... please?....

yes, dear gendle fools... i have finally reached the US of A.... im in tampa right now... at thomas uncle's place.... its actually real nice here... all green and stuff.... yeah....

leaving chennai was kinda tough....everybody was all weepy and stuff... sruthi wouldnt look at me cos she was teary eyed... poor kid.... everybody was there....

the flights were good... chennai to paris... delta airways, they played some tamil movie... balls... it was a lame rocky rip-off......

thank you mr munchkin man... thank you....

we had a stop over at paris for like 4 hours... it was ok... everything was kinda disorderly cos there was a strike on that day.... so yeah... i saw the eifel tower again... only thing was that from the plane it looked like i could squish it between my thumb and index finger.....

then i closed my eyes and stomped through paris like godzilla... yes i was huge... nothing could stop me.... NOTHING!!!!

paris to NY.... looong flight.... got over real fast cos i slept through it... there were 3 movies that played on that flight... i watched only one... i fell asleep all through the rest.... i watched robots.... it was ok... plkus the music by the blue man group was a cool touch.... i missed "hitch" (thank god-dude...) and "guess who" (CRAP! FUCK! &%$&^%#&^%#&^$#^%$# ).... then we had a short while at the JFK airport, which i didnt like all too much because i had to walk for miles with my guitar, mama's electric veena and a strolley that lacked a wheel......

the wheel said thus after escaping from the evil clutches of the strolley, "FREEEEEE!!!!"

from JFK to tampa we flew on song airways... i really liked song... the atmosphere was super friendly and the inflight entertainment was uber cool..... they let us vote on what type of safety recording we wanted.... nobody chose the new age version with its almost orgasmic female voice and annoying background sounds...... a few people chose flamenco.... and my personal favorite was played... the salsa safety dance... this stewardess even did all the actions while dancing with the background salsa over which this mexican voice told the instructions and asked every one to move their booties....

and the inflight entertainment was cool... they had satellite tv from dish tv.... small games and most importantly mp3 quality music.... they had a good collection of cds of which you could listen to or make playlists from and listen to.....i listened to john lennon's "acoustic", bruce springsteen's "devils and dust" and u2's "how to dismantle an atom bomb".... plus a lotof other stuff... later on i watched howard stern on E!.....

jenna haze has great pom-poms... wonder why they blurred them?....

we reached tampa at midnight (aroundish)... thomas uncle minto and mercy aunty were there to pick us up.... we are at their place for the next few days till the apartment we took is all fixed up... we applied for social security today and checked out a cool school for akshay...

it's been a long day.... my body is all messed up...my eyes tell me it's daytime... my body tells me its midnight... my mind tells me that i miss everyone... and my inner mutt (more on him later) tells me to go to sleep....

i called up almost everyone before leaving.... ajnu, akhil and neet, amu, steffi, dee, sibi, rakesh, nileena (i didnt get to meet her... shit!), vimal, uday, tanky..... yeah... i couldnt get saritha and leju.... and to all those i didnt call... take this as a honorary phone call....

to all my friends; a huge bear-hug.... avi style

PS: oh yeah... one more thing... i sprained my left hand the day before leaving chennai.... i stuck it into a moving ceiling fan... heh heh heh... i was playing dumb charades with my cousins, christy and thommen when my team won a point... i got all excited and pumped my fist into the air screaming "YES!" which instantly turned into an "OH CRAP! SHIT!".... the blade hit me on the back of my hand between my thumb and forefinger.... it swelled up to double its size... i had to take an x-ray and everything....

how many of you ppl can say that you've stopped a ceiling fan with your bare hands???... i can....

peacerespectempathy

the pigs flew over the moon...

sound : Larks' Tongues in Aspic, Part One - King Crimson

last night the moon fell into my backyard.... i aproached it and we had a small conversation.... we talked of this and that, of monkeys and unicorns, of flying pigs and money, of poisons and nectar, of god-dude and men, of many things that would make this list seem unending...

to make a tall tale short, she was stuck... the moon didnt know how to goback into orbit... then when i asked her the time she said it was almost midnght and i thought to myself "aah yes, the 4th of july... let me be one of the first ppl to send neet a card..." so i go online and i noticed that the date shown was the 5th of july.. i thought my pc was wrong so i checked my watch... damn! it was showing the same... as a last resort i asked the moon what the dat was.... shee too said that it was the 5th... that's when i realized that i had missed neet's birthday because i had the date all muddled up... what i thought was the 4th of july was actually the 5th... as a result of mu dumb-foundedness i had spen the whole of the 4th of july (which i thought was the third) reminding myself of neet's birthday...

as a last measure i posted an entry wishin her... i'm sorry kiddo... i'm a bum...

after that the moon and i resumed our conversation and we got to the mini jeddah reunion we had here in chirakadavu... it was good... joji aunty and aj was there... tankachen uncle, sus aunty and jaimie were there.... alex uncle, pearlcy aunty, joel and noel were there... unni uncle and kalyani aunty were there... robin uncle and binu aunty were there... geetha aunty and kenny were there... ousapachen uncle, ancy aunty, anu and vinu were there... then here was baby & molly and meenu & joe... also mathew and nyle... yeah, loads of people i hadnt seen in a long time...

another thing... how come so many girls that i know have had their stints with modeling/acting?... nileena modelled, this girl meenu was a miss kerala contestant (she got the miss beautiful skin award) and a model,surya did this modelling thingy too and this girl in my batch from ooty, roma.. she's in a telugu movie... she even got good reviews it seems... and look at me... i look like a bum.... hmm...

as i said all this the moon told me about how she felt inferior to venus... she said that even though she was larger and much more beautiful to the naked eye it was venus who became the symbol of feminity and virginal beauty... and i told the moon that it's always like that... the others always has it better than you... no matter what... the grass is always greener on the other side... as the hole weight of our conversation set in, the moon and i sat back on our bamboo lounge chairs and sipped our chiantes and ate some nice liver a la fava beans...

it was nice to talk face to face with aj after such a long time... she and joji aunty spent the night over here and we talked for a while and stuff... nice...
we (that being the moon and i) watched bits and pieces of Live 8... of what i saw (i missed the audioslave set... ) the show was real good... i couldn't watch the whole thing live because that was the day everybody came over but VH1 showed the whole thing as a rerun the next day (sunday)... so the oon and i sat and watched as much as possible... imagine... it started at 12 noon and ended at 10:30 PM!!.... one thing's for sure though... of all the artists that i saw... it was the older artists that really shone... u2, the who, sting, paul mccartney, velvet revolver pink floyd... PINK FLOYD!!... THE PIGS FLEW BABY!!! oh yeah... robbie williams did a good job in engaging the crowd... he performed well...

the opening song "sgt pepper's lonely hearts club" by u2 and paul mccartney was awesome!... the u2 set was great... the who were awesome... "who are you?..."... pete townsend was king.... his guitaring was just magnificent...the highlight of the sting set (for me atleast) was josh freese's (APC) drumming... and his voice was heavenly... "every breath you take" was a highlight with the altered lyrics and all... the velvet revolver set was great although there were only 2 songs ("fall to pieces" & "slither") but the ending was cool when scot weiland pulled out his signature megaphone and let the siren wail out in the ending of slither.... the closing by paul mccartney was just beautiful... "drive my car" was awesome... but it was the ending that made me smile... "hey jude"... the ending "naa na na na-na-na-naa..." bit with everyone on stage and the whoole crowd singing along was perfect... and pink floyd... pink floyd was perfect... i cant say anything more... just fucking perfect... they opened out their set with "breathe" followed by "comfortable numb"... david gilmour's solo here was nothing short of heavenly... then came the beautiful "money" and they ended their set woth "wish you were here" which waters announced was a tribute to the late syd barret.....

the moon and i watched the whole thing in total concentration and after the set she turned to me and said, "The pigs have flown!"

yes, the pigs HAVE flown...

peacerespectempathy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEET!!