4.16.2004

rest as ash in a landfill little reptiles....

Feeling : blue
Listening to : string quartet tribute to TOOL - sober

had the most horrible week... both of my tortoises died in a span of 3 days... was really depressed after that... they got some disease... their shells became soft and then their lower shells start bruising and they stop eating and poof... they die.... cant help but think its my fault... maybe they werent getting enough nutrition or something... or maybe the got parasites... called up the vet clinic and they said they cant do wack unless i take em there... a checkup costs like 200 riyalls out here... plus there are no cheaper or free clinics here... i tried my own medication on scratch (confucious died first)... i tries giving it tiny doses of paracetamol and milk for calcium... maybe it ODed on panadol thanks to me or something... the ending is the worst part... i unceremoniously dumped them in a dumpster... i guess you could say i had them cremated... i lost one of my rings yesterday... the one that says "om mane pedme" (thats a tibetian chant to buddha)... the only good thing happening right now is me starting to go to the gym again... this time its another place but i still feel kinda guilty cos its like 200 bucks a month and right now...thats hard to come by (my dad is unemployed right now)... but this place is good... its run by an ex-mr india... the facilities are good... i go for 2 - 3 hrs a day... im controlling what i eat, i walk to the place, et al... im woking hard... if i dont lose weight this time- theres nothing i havent tried...

No comments: