Hello when I'm crashing

Feeling : happily lonely
Listening to : john frusciante - song to sing when i'm lonely

went to this cultural program thingy a few days back... it was the crappiest thing i ever went for.... i swear im never goin to one of those places again...it was horrible... the place was filled with no-brained, gay-looking, bollywood-wannabe types staring at the girls like a bunch of pervs...one of them were even wearing shades at 11 in the night!!!!... i told mama its gonna be crappy but nooooo.... i had to go... it'll be good she sez... blech!... oh yeah... this kid - shedda... like 10 or something... she takes me away from the crowd saying she wants to ask me something... i was bored anyway so i said ok... she takes me to one side and makes me promise ill tell the truth... i was hesitant but i said ok... then shes like "avi chettan, do you have a girlfriend?" ("chettan" is mallu for bro... like how the japs say "san")... i said no... then she looks at me funny and asks me why... i say something like... "dunno... maybe coz i look like an ape... plus nobody my type"... then shes asks me how old i am and i tell her.. then she tells me that i should be having a girlfriend and that i should do it asap... it was funny actually... a little ten yr old telling me tha facts of life... she even asked me to tie my hair... kids are awesome... very receptive... call me crazy but i prefer small talk with a little kid to any damn conversation with an adult (excepting a few)... kids understand... they care too... i always tell ppl that kids are the realest things around... always true... it was real sweet of her actually... but later on i got to thinking... she was right you know... im almost 20 and im single...

change of topic before everyone (theres max 2 ppl other than me who reads this blog) falls into the pits of lonesome misery...

i went to the doc yesterday... been having this ear ache for the past few days... only when i chew mind you... hearing and stuff perfect... just the pain... i went to an ent at a local hospital and he says it might be calciferation (??? dont remember the word... building up of calcium) in one of the bones behind my ear and one of the nerves back there might be getting crushed each time i bite down...thus causing the pain... he said it usually happens to "stout and muscular young males" like me!!!... man was i happy... im stout and muscular... the doc asked me if i go to the gym... i say no and he says i look kinda powerful!!... either the doc needs to change his glasses or hes extremely gay or...... im really muscular looking under the tons of blubber that im storing for the next ice-age... he gets all philosophical on me and says that im a very free thinking person... he says the beard and the hair is good because it shows a that subconscously im a very open person... very free and receptive to feelings and emotions... i was thinking "cool doc"... then he tells me that i gotta take an x-ray and a blood test... i go for the blood test and it was routine stuff... the x-ray part is cool... you know when a person is scared right?... you can feel it... the nurse at the x-ray lab looked like she saw a ghost when i walked in... her expression was hilarious... she stutters something like "ill be back" and leaves in a hurry... then she comes back with a male nurse and asks him to stay in the room in malayalam... both the nurses were mallus and they didnt know that i was one too :D... shes tells the male nurse to just stand by and also says some comment on me looking like some trouble-maker... she asks me to lie down on the table and she tells me to bend my neck downwards as much as possible... i do it and shes like little bit more... i say i cant and she comes over and gently tries to push my head down... honestly my neck was maxed out so it didnt bend anymore... i tell her that and i couldnt help but smile... damn sad... she looked even more scared... musta thought i was some sorta psycho serial killer or something... she moves back and fiddles with the instruments and on her way back she trips on my boots and almost fell... i was like "sorry bout that" and she just looks at me funny while i grin loke a loony... the whole time she was scared of me... heh heh heh... got that over with... i thanked the nurse and gave her my million $ smile... after i got the results the doc says i dont have a calcium build up... but theres an inflamation of tissue there... i get medicines and here i am... alive and kicking... gotta go back in a week...

the songs from the new frusciante is awesome... ive downloaded 3 songs from "shadows collide with ppl" (eat shit RIAA... you cant touch me... im not under your jurisdiction... butt-munchers!! bwahahahahahahahaaa!!!)... agreed its totally different... the older songs were pure in its own way... the recording quality was bad but the songs were awesome... from "shadows..." ive got "this cold", "second walk" and "song to sing when im lonely"... beautiful... my fave so far is "song to sing...", with this album is that frusciantes carved himself a niche in rockland forever... chad and flea from the peppers play rhythm in this album... and the digital work in these songs are just right... not too much, not too little... gotta get myself the whole album...


Song to sing when I'm lonely by john frusciante

(from "Shadows Collide With People", 2004)

A song to play when I'm lonely
Win and never play a game again
No one to face when I'm falling
Holding tight to dreams that never end
I'll be you
I do
I'll be you
No one's afraid to be called by another name
No one dares to be put down where they don't belong
Nowhere's anyones reason
Everything dying and leaving
Out with these faults and you make me a baby
Faking a movement by no ones seeing it
No one always finds peace flung
No one chooses to beat my pride down
Symbols pierce right through me
People fail to be drawn up
Sunlight to fate accumulates
Loving pain to be clung to
By luminous bodies
Only waiting for long signs to be wrong
And true to us
Out of place in my own time
Drowning thinking that I'm dry
Holding on to facts that'll never be proven
Faking an action cuz no one's looking
Hello when I'm crashing
Feeling nothing when my life's flashing before my eyes
You should've threw me down
Is the content so much
You should've threw me down
Is the content so much
You should've threw me down
Is the content so much
You should've threw me down
Is the content so much