sound : Molten Light - Chad VanGaalen
Hold on... I'm gathering some emotion...
*many minutes later*
I can't do this right now....
12.29.2008
game over
sound : Molten Light - Chad VanGaalen
Hold on... I'm gathering some emotion...
*many minutes later*
I can't do this right now....
12.25.2008
"You so anti-don't-I-matter"
sound : Anti Matter - N.E.R.D.
It's always the same story....
It's all cyclical...
Oh well.... Hopefully I'll be at Czar tonight....
I hate christmas....
Anti Matter - N.E.R.D
It's always the same story....
It's all cyclical...
Oh well.... Hopefully I'll be at Czar tonight....
I hate christmas....
Anti Matter - N.E.R.D
12.24.2008
12.22.2008
"confappinear"
sound : Audiotrack 5 - Yeah Yeah Yeahs (From the "K.O. at Home" E.P.)
as of this moment i feel full-headed.... confused and bamboozled....
a lot of thinking over the past few days about life and such... settling... living....
other things make me happy.... talking on the phone, connecting, makes me happy...
confusion, fear and happiness.... "confappinear"
almost 4 in the morning and i'm wide awake... i think i'll call her....
yeah.... that's what i'll do...
12.10.2008
"Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" - Hunter S. Thompson
sound :Electric Feel - MGMT
Read the full book here.
We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive. . . .” And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: “Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?”
Read the full book here.
12.09.2008
5.20.2008
The future...
sound : "Alone And Unaware, the Landscape Was Transformed In Front of Our Eyes" - Red Sparrowes
scares me.... a lot...
everybody's slowly getting on track but i seem like the permanent train-wreck... people are moving on, living life, getting actual jobs and i, i go swing dancing, i listen to more music, i sell sunglasses... what i earn is not enough to pay my way out of my mistakes....
the same old anger and confusion is setting in again...
i hate feeling like this...
scares me.... a lot...
everybody's slowly getting on track but i seem like the permanent train-wreck... people are moving on, living life, getting actual jobs and i, i go swing dancing, i listen to more music, i sell sunglasses... what i earn is not enough to pay my way out of my mistakes....
the same old anger and confusion is setting in again...
i hate feeling like this...
5.03.2008
Reckoner
video.vh1.com
Reckoner
(Written and performed by Radiohead)
Reckoner
Can you take it with you
Disavow the pleasure
You were not to blame for
Bittersweet distractors
Dare not speak his name
Did I cater to all you
All your needs?
Because we separate
it ripples our reflections
Because we separate
it ripples our reflections
Reckoner
Did I cater to all you,
All your needs?
4.29.2008
Speak your troubles
sound : Someday - My Bloody Valentine
you get into your car, your brains a mess.... the day's running in your head, fresh, looped... like a cassette tape.... you decide to yourself, "i'm going to leave the windows closed... it gives me my own space..."
you pick up a familiar cd case.. .it's pink in color.... open it, put the cd in.... turn up the volume knob to 35.... you wait a few seconds for it to load....
aaah....
the crashing drums, the reverb drenched guitars.... you smile and start driving.... you feel the beats in your chest, you feel the seatbelt vibrating... the rear-view mirror is shaking... you feel pressure, it's like a tonne of weight on your shoulders.... you feel like your eardrums are going to pop... you think to yourself, "is this too loud?"...
you have a vision of all the windows of your car blasting outwards....
you open the windows in the fear of you losing your hearing... the music/noise bursts out like a hundred billion bees stinging everyone in the vicinity... the seatbelt still rattles against your chest, the rear-view mirror still vibrates.... you look to your right and this man looks at your car like you are crazy....
you look down at the passenger seat at the pink cd case, you look up, smile at yourself in the mirror and continue on your way home... swaying....
Sleep like a pillow
Downward and
Where she won't care
Anyway anywhere
Soft as a pillow
Touch her there
Where she won't dare
Somewhere
Sleep like a royal subject
Think that you grew
Stronger there
Speak your troubles
She's not scared
Soft like there's silk
Everywhere
Sleep is a pillow
Come where she won't dare
Anyway there
Look in the mirror
She's not there
Where sh won't care
Somewhere
you get into your car, your brains a mess.... the day's running in your head, fresh, looped... like a cassette tape.... you decide to yourself, "i'm going to leave the windows closed... it gives me my own space..."
you pick up a familiar cd case.. .it's pink in color.... open it, put the cd in.... turn up the volume knob to 35.... you wait a few seconds for it to load....
aaah....
the crashing drums, the reverb drenched guitars.... you smile and start driving.... you feel the beats in your chest, you feel the seatbelt vibrating... the rear-view mirror is shaking... you feel pressure, it's like a tonne of weight on your shoulders.... you feel like your eardrums are going to pop... you think to yourself, "is this too loud?"...
you have a vision of all the windows of your car blasting outwards....
you open the windows in the fear of you losing your hearing... the music/noise bursts out like a hundred billion bees stinging everyone in the vicinity... the seatbelt still rattles against your chest, the rear-view mirror still vibrates.... you look to your right and this man looks at your car like you are crazy....
you look down at the passenger seat at the pink cd case, you look up, smile at yourself in the mirror and continue on your way home... swaying....
Sleep like a pillow
Downward and
Where she won't care
Anyway anywhere
Soft as a pillow
Touch her there
Where she won't dare
Somewhere
Sleep like a royal subject
Think that you grew
Stronger there
Speak your troubles
She's not scared
Soft like there's silk
Everywhere
Sleep is a pillow
Come where she won't dare
Anyway there
Look in the mirror
She's not there
Where sh won't care
Somewhere
4.21.2008
4.20.2008
phallic symbols for kids...
sound : Flower Sun Rain - Boris
ever notice how jack sparrow twirls his moustache when he starts getting kinda randy with the chick on the island (while consuming copious amounts of rum)?... doesn't it seem symbolic of his "rising libido" (so to speak)?.....
leave it to disney to teach kids the ways of life.... :D
ever notice how jack sparrow twirls his moustache when he starts getting kinda randy with the chick on the island (while consuming copious amounts of rum)?... doesn't it seem symbolic of his "rising libido" (so to speak)?.....
leave it to disney to teach kids the ways of life.... :D
4.11.2008
I am...
sound : Wonderwall - Oasis
* single again
* angry at the world
* angry at myself
* bored shitless
* most likely an insomniac
* watching everything shatter
* listening to "(What's The Story) Morning Glory" and my heart beat
* going to go to sleep after this
* loving my friends more and more every minute of every day
* missing some of said friends... a lot
* kinda hungry, but I'm too lazy to grab a bite to eat
* going to go now
* hoping that the next time I do this, I will spew something more profound
* single again
* angry at the world
* angry at myself
* bored shitless
* most likely an insomniac
* watching everything shatter
* listening to "(What's The Story) Morning Glory" and my heart beat
* going to go to sleep after this
* loving my friends more and more every minute of every day
* missing some of said friends... a lot
* kinda hungry, but I'm too lazy to grab a bite to eat
* going to go now
* hoping that the next time I do this, I will spew something more profound
4.06.2008
The Ramos ginfizz
In a cocktail shaker, dissolve 1 tbsp sugar in 1 tbsp water. Add:
• 1 1/2 ounce Tanqueray gin
• 1/2 ounce lemon juice
• 1/2 ounce lime juice
• 1 ounce heavy cream
• white of 1 fresh egg
• 3 drops -- not dashes -- of orange flower water
Fill with cracked ice and shake lustily for a long, long time, and then strain into a tall glass. Add 1 oz chilled seltzer, stir briefly, and then smile.
• 1 1/2 ounce Tanqueray gin
• 1/2 ounce lemon juice
• 1/2 ounce lime juice
• 1 ounce heavy cream
• white of 1 fresh egg
• 3 drops -- not dashes -- of orange flower water
Fill with cracked ice and shake lustily for a long, long time, and then strain into a tall glass. Add 1 oz chilled seltzer, stir briefly, and then smile.
3.29.2008
Rob Gordon moment # 63
sound : Dying Song - John Frusciante
i feel like watching movies.... not a movie... i want to watch movies.... i'm feeling a hunger for existentialist/absurdist/complex erotic/depressing flicks.... language doesn't really matter actually... i just want some mood movies to sink into.... i've kinda compiled a list (like i dont do that much huh?.. the rob gordon in me is awake...) and some of these movies i've already seen.... but some of these i really want to see just because it was done by people i admire and ive read plenty of good and bad things about them.... and sometimes the bad reviews are the ones that make me want to listen to a certain album or watch a certain movie..... here's the list....
Y Tu Mama Tambien
The Brown Bunny
Buffalo 66
Sex and Lucia
Romance
Frivolous Lola
9 Songs
24 Hour Party People
Control
I'm Not There
Stroszek
Into the Wild
The Darjeeling Limited
High Fidelity
Lars and the Rreal Girl
i feel like watching movies.... not a movie... i want to watch movies.... i'm feeling a hunger for existentialist/absurdist/complex erotic/depressing flicks.... language doesn't really matter actually... i just want some mood movies to sink into.... i've kinda compiled a list (like i dont do that much huh?.. the rob gordon in me is awake...) and some of these movies i've already seen.... but some of these i really want to see just because it was done by people i admire and ive read plenty of good and bad things about them.... and sometimes the bad reviews are the ones that make me want to listen to a certain album or watch a certain movie..... here's the list....
Y Tu Mama Tambien
The Brown Bunny
Buffalo 66
Sex and Lucia
Romance
Frivolous Lola
9 Songs
24 Hour Party People
Control
I'm Not There
Stroszek
Into the Wild
The Darjeeling Limited
High Fidelity
Lars and the Rreal Girl
3.26.2008
This amorous feeling.....
sound : Did You Ever Look So Nice - The Samples
This unending feeling of loneliness is fake.... even if the people i love are far away i know that they care... and i care too....
i may not have seen somebody for a few days/months/years.... that's ok... that's just how life deals its cards... we play our hand and hope for the best.... school, work and money are unimportant.... all that really matters is love....
this may seem like oe of the usual depressing posts but it isn't... i am actually celebrating the fact that even though i live a life of constant let-down there are people who can put a smile on my face just by saying "hello!"
all my life i've had friends take care of me.... even now... those friends are the ones i'm most grateful for, because without them i'd be drowned in a huge pile of shit...
to each and every one of my friends, wherever you are... i love you...
:)
that is all...
This unending feeling of loneliness is fake.... even if the people i love are far away i know that they care... and i care too....
i may not have seen somebody for a few days/months/years.... that's ok... that's just how life deals its cards... we play our hand and hope for the best.... school, work and money are unimportant.... all that really matters is love....
this may seem like oe of the usual depressing posts but it isn't... i am actually celebrating the fact that even though i live a life of constant let-down there are people who can put a smile on my face just by saying "hello!"
all my life i've had friends take care of me.... even now... those friends are the ones i'm most grateful for, because without them i'd be drowned in a huge pile of shit...
to each and every one of my friends, wherever you are... i love you...
:)
that is all...
3.17.2008
"Superstar"
(Performed by Sonic Youth, Written by the Carpenters)
Long ago
and oh so far away
I fell in love with you
before the second show
your guitar
it sounds so sweet and clear
but you're not really there
it's just the radio
don't you remember you told me you love me baby
you said you'd be coming back this way again baby
baby baby baby baby oh baby
I love you, I really do
loneliness, is such a sad affair
and I can hardly wait
to be with you again
what to say
to make you come again
come back to me again
and play your sad guitar
don't you remember you told me you love me baby
you said you'd be coming back this way again baby
baby baby baby baby oh baby
I love you, I really do
don't you remember you told me you love me baby
you said you'd be coming back this way again baby
baby baby baby baby oh baby
I love you, I really do...
Long ago
and oh so far away
I fell in love with you
before the second show
your guitar
it sounds so sweet and clear
but you're not really there
it's just the radio
don't you remember you told me you love me baby
you said you'd be coming back this way again baby
baby baby baby baby oh baby
I love you, I really do
loneliness, is such a sad affair
and I can hardly wait
to be with you again
what to say
to make you come again
come back to me again
and play your sad guitar
don't you remember you told me you love me baby
you said you'd be coming back this way again baby
baby baby baby baby oh baby
I love you, I really do
don't you remember you told me you love me baby
you said you'd be coming back this way again baby
baby baby baby baby oh baby
I love you, I really do...
3.10.2008
3.07.2008
Life Lesson #6456
sound : Behold the Tragedy of St. Ignatius - GOD
Today I learned that, contrary to popular belief, shopping does not help you feel happier.... Especially when you don't have money for it....
Today I learned that, contrary to popular belief, shopping does not help you feel happier.... Especially when you don't have money for it....
drone/dooom, man PMS, desert blues, school and new wave...
sound : Tallahassee - EARTH
Here we go again... me and my fuckin' sob story... that's all i seem to do on this thing..... that may be the only reason i still have this thing is to rant and rave when shit hits the fan....
i feel like i'm being stabbed... in the back... and if anybody complains about my grammar or punctuation (or the lack thereof) can kiss my ass... i really don't give a fuck... i'm here to work out some aggression....
i've got to find some way to flip this switch... i have so much pent up inside me but no way to get a release... i hate this frustrated trapped feeling..... damn this thing.....
I'm thinking about restarting my GOD musical project... although with a little change.... i'm actually thinkin of a droney stoner metal doom thing... i don't know... lets see how that goes....
i feel like i have wasted potential... ideas are swimming around in my head like sperm, drawings i can't sketch, melodies i can't transcribe to actual music, words i9 can't put to lyrics and sentences that arent prose.... plus school.... i find it such a waste of time.... i can't stand school anymore..... i'm too fuckin' old for this shit.... thankfully i'll be done with this garbage next semester...
now playing: untitled - interpol
i love how gloomy interpol is.... not as gloomy or wrist slashingly depressing as joy division but close enough..... lot's of new wave and doom in my playlists now.... kinda reflective of my mood i guess..... yeah.... the mary onettes (like marionettes!!!).... love them... they're cool...
now playing: Cler Achel - Tinariwen
i am man PMS-ing like a mofo.... sadly i have to fuckin' take care of everyone around me before i can say a thing.... agreed i've done this my whole life but shit's starting to stink....
my vivid dreams are back.... i've had this dream about heather, my brother and i being at the beach atleast twice now.... i've been having dreams or arun moving down from canada.... on of those dreams i can't forget though..... something about the two of us renting a house in orlando or something... it was cool...
now playing: pleasure songs - the mary onettes (!!!!)
i need to get out of this funk... i wonder what i'll do about it?... everything pisses me off right now...... oh well... i think i'll stop now.... it's almost 4 in the morning and i'm wide awake.... my allergies have kicked in hardcore and i can't breathe lying down..... tonight sucks!....
Here we go again... me and my fuckin' sob story... that's all i seem to do on this thing..... that may be the only reason i still have this thing is to rant and rave when shit hits the fan....
i feel like i'm being stabbed... in the back... and if anybody complains about my grammar or punctuation (or the lack thereof) can kiss my ass... i really don't give a fuck... i'm here to work out some aggression....
i've got to find some way to flip this switch... i have so much pent up inside me but no way to get a release... i hate this frustrated trapped feeling..... damn this thing.....
I'm thinking about restarting my GOD musical project... although with a little change.... i'm actually thinkin of a droney stoner metal doom thing... i don't know... lets see how that goes....
i feel like i have wasted potential... ideas are swimming around in my head like sperm, drawings i can't sketch, melodies i can't transcribe to actual music, words i9 can't put to lyrics and sentences that arent prose.... plus school.... i find it such a waste of time.... i can't stand school anymore..... i'm too fuckin' old for this shit.... thankfully i'll be done with this garbage next semester...
now playing: untitled - interpol
i love how gloomy interpol is.... not as gloomy or wrist slashingly depressing as joy division but close enough..... lot's of new wave and doom in my playlists now.... kinda reflective of my mood i guess..... yeah.... the mary onettes (like marionettes!!!).... love them... they're cool...
now playing: Cler Achel - Tinariwen
i am man PMS-ing like a mofo.... sadly i have to fuckin' take care of everyone around me before i can say a thing.... agreed i've done this my whole life but shit's starting to stink....
my vivid dreams are back.... i've had this dream about heather, my brother and i being at the beach atleast twice now.... i've been having dreams or arun moving down from canada.... on of those dreams i can't forget though..... something about the two of us renting a house in orlando or something... it was cool...
now playing: pleasure songs - the mary onettes (!!!!)
i need to get out of this funk... i wonder what i'll do about it?... everything pisses me off right now...... oh well... i think i'll stop now.... it's almost 4 in the morning and i'm wide awake.... my allergies have kicked in hardcore and i can't breathe lying down..... tonight sucks!....
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