9.30.2005

9.27.2005

I Can't Stand This Certain Opiate Mind-fuck

I feel like I am happy,
my precious Novocaine...

Drag me out of my ass,
Undo the Peaceful Moron,
Yes, I am he,
I am the Peaceful Moron.

Numb me from this pain
My precious Novocaine.
My sweet, sweet Novocaine.

My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.

Wake me up,
My Novocaine.
Undo these dreams in my head,
Rewind them all so that I may be alive again.

Pluck the worm,
Pull out the worm or constancy out of my head.
Leave this little maggot-mind of mine to rot;
Maybe then I will finally be Alive.

My Novocaine.
My Novocaine.

I know I talk for too long,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm bored of my own shadow,
Get lost! Stop following me around you parasite!

I eat banana peels for lunch.
Oh how devine, the taste of rat tails!
Where you gonna go?
What you gonna do?
Don't leave me here my Novocaine...

Lungs of men are just cement.
Melt my heart, make me human
My sweet Novocaine.

Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.
Numb my pain,
My sweet Novocaine.

Behind all these masks
I want to live like the Every-person.
Make me the Human-monster that I want to be
My Sweet Novocaine.

I hate your dirty, dirty Monkey-fartedness;
Truth be told my eyes tear up at the sight of you.
But please, please, please,
Don't ever leave me
My sweet Novocaine.

My sweet Novocaine...

My sweet Novocaine...

My sweet Novocaine...

My sweet Novocaine...

My Novocaine...

My Novocaine...

My Novocaine...

My Novocaine...

peacerespectempathy

9.18.2005

"Words about me and about a friend of mine" & "The Testicle-Ovary thing"

sound : I'm Finding It Harder to Be A Gentleman - The White Stripes

i have this tendancy to gravitate towards people with issues.... ok, issues is too harsh a word..... people with imperfections.... imperfections that make them human.... imperfections that define who they are without any overtly obvious actions by the persons themselves....

its been like this ever since i was a child... i first felt i had this "ability" when i was fresh in boarding school.... i was a new kid with no experience of being away from my family but there i was hearing stories from other kids who've been in boarding school their whole lives..... the thing is.... all i ever did was listen.... i didnt have to say anything smart (which i cant anyway) or anything... all anybody wanted me to do was listen.....

all my life i've been the "shoulder"..... you need to let loose, you come to me..... the thing is, i don't do this voluntarily.... it's just who i am i guess.... maybe that explains a lot of things; why i come back to this blog even though all i do is ramble on from deep in my pit of vanity..... maybe this is the reason that i have so many female friends and yet i struggle with women (you can partly blame that on my fear of responsibility too)... but hey... i guess that one of my "things".... i'm always going to be the "shoulder"....

i had a heart-to-heart with tuyet the other day.... she basically told me the story of her life... tuyet's always been cool with me at work and we started fooling around with the others by claiming that we're going to get married [refer to previous post].... yeah... tuyet's of vietnamese origin.... her dad died before she was born and her mom expired when she was three.... she learnt how to take care of herself by the time she was 5 and she learnt to cook by the time she was 6.... she lives out here (tampa, florida) with her foster family with whom she's lived for the past 10 years.... 9 and a half to be exact.... she still misses her little village in vietnam.... she told me that someday she will go back... she's got an elder brother who's married and with kids, a friend of hers married her uncle.... yeah... she thinks thats kinda funny too....

then she came to the "love of her life"... she's had a crush on this dude in vietnam since she was a kid.... like six or seven or something.... they've been friends forever... a few years earlier she asked him if she loved him and he said no.... she asked him if there ever will be a chance for him to change his mind and he said no.... she said that right now she's moving on (i seriously doubt that, i can tell... i know a lot of people like that)... then she told me that this dude had told one of her friends that he said no because he felt that with him being a poor vietnamese vilager and all, that he wouldn't be good enough for her and other such bullshit like that....

to all you ladies who are reading this (one... two... three... oh sorry, two...) trust me, we men have no idea what we're talking about half of the time.... when we say "no", we mean "yes"..... half of us (i guess) instintively try to lie our way out of any situation with even a little bit of responsibility on our side.... trust me, i know.... i'm one of them....

yeah.... back to the story... in the end she said to me "i don't care about that avi, i would love to move back to vietnam and get married and live with him and raise our kids till im old.... yes, i think oo much but dont you pity me... im serious, dont pity me!"... i don't pity her.... on the contrary, right now, i pity all of us men who side-step confrontation and responsibility... we are the scum of the world... we are the evil ones.... and for all the millions of guy's who've ever gon, "dude, i don't get women"- there's no hope... we are doomed.... DOOMED!!...

well... the human race is screwed anyway.... i guess when cloning is perfected us men will be wiped out one by one and gaia (mother earth) will be an amazonian paradise of peace, wisdom, love and lesbians (HELL YEAH!!)...

[sorry about that... i couldn't help myself, but i had to...]

but i guess that eventually, even in this "perfect" world, one day or the other.... maybe a few decades into "perfection" or so... the scientists will create and breed males just for entertainment.... men will just be sexual objects and will have no power in the oestrogen powered world of the day.... an ironic twist on the world of today but it is totally capable of happening... "rent-a-husband"... "rent-a-dude"... escort services will thrive due to the high demand of testicles.... at first it will be frowned upon though (even that might be untrue because in the all-female world the populace might not be as prejudiced as we, the human race, are right now) like how homosexuals and other "sexual-deviants" were treating even until a few years ago.... even today.... but eventually the "rent-a-man" thing will be big.... gigolos would soon reach the upper stratosphere of richness that the whole wheel might turn another 360 degrees and we'll end up where we started in the first place.... with the testicles in power over the ovaries....

its funny how that happened.... the testicles are on top right now but all of us really know who are in control right?... the ovaries!... theres no doubt about that....

Post Script

i was just thinking about a title for this thing that i just typed out so i thought to myself "why not?... with all the multi part movies and dual cd albums out right now, why cant this piece have two titles?..." hence the title.....

peacerespectempathy

9.12.2005

Welly well well well well well my brothers and sisters...

sound : Faeries Wear Boots - Black Sabbath

"then one day i was riding along with the money man on the yellow-brick road when he told me that i am not real..."

yes my dear ladies and germs, i am back.... no no no no... im not dead... i was just kinda "busy", so to speak.... school... school is fine.... ive made a few friends.... quite a few of them actually.... yes my brothers and true friends, i am finally alive...

about school... i just take two classes.... sociology and psychology.... mondays and wednesdays.... nothing else... the rest of the week i'm at McD working.... there are these two people i've met at sociology who are nice... skye and linsey... skye has another class as soon as sociology gets over but linsey and i go to the library and either study or talk for like an hour or so.... today we were quizzing each other (there's a test on wednesday)... then comes psychology with herr landon..... heil heil.... the subject is (so far) as dry as a camels butt.... seriously... plus landon is basically a very, VERY boring guy... me jay and ari (jay being jason and ari being arianysis) sit together during psychology.... jay and ari know each other because they studied together in highschool... well... after class we sitb and talk together or i go and stay with my bride to-be tuyet (long story, im coming to that), tiff and krystal.... we usually talk for while til papa comes to pick me up (yes, yes, i'm pathetic... i dont have a car yet...)...

ok.... now onto my future bride... tuyet... tuyet's this vietnamese girl that i work with in McD... everybody there says me and tiffnie are an item because we walk home together whenever we can.... so tuyet and i come up with this scandalous plan to trick everybody into thinking that WE (that being tuyet and i) are an item.... yes my brothers and only friends, the evil part of me woke up that day.... we made up a big charade that we are an item.... and not just that.... we are getting married (!!!).... we go around calling each other "my love" and "mon amie" and other such corny names.... then we made an elaborate argument scene with tiffnie saying that i'm cheating on them and stuff.... the expressions on the manager's faces are hilarious when we do something stupid like this.... heh heh heh....

i watched clockwork orange yesterday.... i have nothing to say... seriously.... it is by far the most fucked up movie ever.... I LOVED IT!!!

yeah... ill check in later... i gotta find a car in the car mags ive bought.... plus ive got to study..... damn.... so for now, i say goodbye my brothers and only true friends....

peacerespectempathy